Isaiah

Just got home.

Hi, my name's (not really) Isaiah and I'm an alcoholic.

Kind of questioning why I'd ever stopped going in the first place. I honestly don't have a solid reason. Granted I'm not crazy about the meeting format I've seen here in Oregon, but a preference is no excuse.

A little eye-opening. I had been thinking I haven't been handling this minor situation in my life very well. Tonight was an 11th step discussion and listening to people's shares confirmed it that I haven't been utilizing that step as I ought to be.

So will I be back? Definitely. I may not have drank since I left the program, but I ought to know, and I think any AA-ers would agree, that truly long-term sobriety takes more than just bare abstention.

Thanks, SR. For giving me some rant space.

UncleMeat69

What step were you working when you stopped attending meetings ?

Not trying to be snarky, just curious.......

2granddaughters

Right on:

AA's Step 1: " We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable."

Step 1 to me is a 2 part text. Alcohol is only mentioned in the first half of Step 1 and not again in any of the other Steps. My life today can still become unmanageable because of my "ISM" of alcoholism.
Simply put .. I have a lot more to learn (overcome) than quitting drinking and the 12 Steps lead me toward the truth and the light.

I will have 24 yrs sober in a couple of weeks, haven't entertained the thought of drinking for decades, and continue to work my program and pass it on.

2 statements in HOW IT WORKS have been eating at me lately ....
1) "Half measures availed us nothing"
2) "We asked His protection and care with complete abandon."

I have work to do on both counts.

All the best.

Bob R

fraankie

i met quite a few people who tried to be sober on their own
i'm sure it works for some people
but
meetings
and the program help more

Isaiah

Somewhere in the amends I think.

Don't think it was the thought of working a particular step that drove me off; I'd been through the twelve with sponsors and all. I guess it would've been pertinent to mention that I stopped going right after I moved across the country.

Kathleen41

Welcome back, glad we didn't lose you!! It's easy to forget to make our recovery a priority, especially after a cross country move. Happy for you!!

Isaiah

Exactly where I'm sitting now with regards to AA.

I think I've shown a good deal of commitment to things that have enabled my sobriety these couple years--namely therapy, church and some SR--but you got it right on the nail with the "ISM."

My problems have never really been stress problems, "atheist problems" or abstinence problems. They're alcoholism problems; which aren't cured because I haven't been drinking. That my life's gotten increasingly better and more manageable wasn't a necessary aftereffect of not drinking--not drinking just means not making it worse--and I know my life's luck could turn at any moment.

Fraankie,

I have, to be quite honest, felt pretty good about my last couple years of sobriety outside of AA or meetings (2 years out of AA, 2 & 8 months sober.) I think it's plausible that I could keep carrying on just fine. But of course I'd have to be insane to make decisions about my recovery based on curiosity and experiment.

I also mentioned in another thread on another board that I'm also doing AA partly for selfish, material reasons. I lost my license back in 2008 and am now going through the process of trying to get it back. In the state I lost it the laws are pretty harsh, and to get re-instated I have to prove my sobriety to a court.

Something I gladly accept. Ultimately I'm getting sober for myself, but I acknowledge too that I owe something to my family, friends and community as well and that actions speak the loudest.

DylanS

Isaiah - I, too, quit going to meetings after I made a significant move. I went to one meeting in my new state. I stayed sober for about 2 more years (14 years total), then drank. I've been drinking now for about, I think, 15 years and have 17 days sober.

Kudos to you for going back to what works.

2granddaughters

Good to see you back too Dylan.

My sponsor told me if I didn't leave I wouldn't have to come back.

All the best.

Bob R

2granddaughters

Go back to AA, renew your commitment and grow.

Go back to AA and recoup your license.

I believe your HP has blessed you with a win/win situation ....


All the best.

Bob R

Isaiah

Win-win for sure. At first, before I'd gone to the meetings, I did actually feel a little guilty like I was just using the program to get my license back. But now I see that was just some distorted thinking. Two years hence but I can still recite "How It Works" word-for-word from memory. Might've gone on vacation but I'm right back where I never should've left off.

Went to another meeting, my second now, at noon today. Went well. A much smaller meeting, maybe 15 people instead of 40. I felt great being there at the time. I left feeling disappointed, which I think is resentment that I didn't get enough attention as the "new guy." Oh, the self-centered nonsense I'm capable of! Guess I'll just have to go back tomorrow.

DylanS

NOW you tell me. Heh heh, j/k.

thuggybear

Good for you!
~Being a dry drunk, is terrible.
Glad you are coming back.
Trudge the road of Happy Destiny with us

p.s. maybe start a meeting with the format you desire?

Isaiah

I didn't find it really all that terrible to be quite honest. The last couple years of my life (no AA) have been the best I've had in almost as long as I can remember. I had several years of AA experience plus other recovery tools like SR to work with so I wasn't completely at a loss. But I figure being back in AA again can only do me good, and five meetings later I'm convinced it will.

It would be cool to attend a meeting with the format I'm used to. All my previous AA was in Ann Arbor (AA in AA!) so not too far from your locale (I'm a native Michigan kid.) I just don't know if it'd be worth the time and energy to create my own. I don't mind the Oregon system so much.

Kathleen41

I am unaware there are meetings on SR. Can someone pleases direct me to what part of the site, the schedule, etc...

skg

Step 5 says I'm to tell the truth about myself (and what I'm thinking) to another person before God. Integrity. I'm lazy, but I like the idea of others doing the heavy lifting with me, so when they said, "A problem shared is a problem cut in half," I understood that to mean the everyday little stuff, too.

Incidentally, for those taking notes at home, it only works when I say it out loud before another in God's sight. Something happens when I am honest with myself before others. I am to learn willingness and humility and I can only do that out in the open. Hovering over a keyboard may titillate the mind, but it's been my experience that true recovery takes actions to activate it within my heart.

Thank you, Isaiah-Not, for sharing your Experience, Strength and Hope.

Isaiah

Yes, Kathleen!

Chat Meetings and Chat Discussions - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I haven't participated in any of them before, but SR does have meetings via chat here.