My mom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 33
My mom
My mom was in a serious accident almost two months ago. she had alcohol in her system. I thought for sure that was her rock bottom, her wake-up call. She was good for a long time. she even went to meetings. if she wasn't clean the last couple months, she hid it very well.
Tonight, she was very disoriented. She suffered a concussion during her accident so we took her to the hospital concerned about her head.
We didn't really expect it to be alcohol related (although of course, it was it was in the back of our minds, it always is) She had hid it very very well.
And it was. I am devastated. she refuses to get help. She doesn't think she has a problem (sometimes she will admit that she does, most the time she will deny it). I left her at the hospital hoping that she would talk to a social worker if I wasn't there. she refused to while i was there. I told her I am not giving her a ride home. that there is the only one way out of the hospital, and that is to get help.
I am checking on her again in the morning. I don't know how I will react if she was really stubborn enough not to talk to anyone. We all decided if she wants to come back home, she will have to walk home from the hospital. I am the only one not working tomorrow, I was designated babysitter for tonight, and I left her. I feel like I have to give her a ride home even though I know I shouldn't. I feel bad for her. But maybe if she feels a little bit abandoned she will be more willing to seek treatment.
I hope I will be strong in the morning. I hope she makes the right decision tonight so I don't have to be strong in the morning. More than anything, I wish I could get a few hours of sleep tonight.
I am really wishing I hadn't stopped going to al-anon meetings I haven't been for several weeks now. I will start going again tonight.
Tonight, she was very disoriented. She suffered a concussion during her accident so we took her to the hospital concerned about her head.
We didn't really expect it to be alcohol related (although of course, it was it was in the back of our minds, it always is) She had hid it very very well.
And it was. I am devastated. she refuses to get help. She doesn't think she has a problem (sometimes she will admit that she does, most the time she will deny it). I left her at the hospital hoping that she would talk to a social worker if I wasn't there. she refused to while i was there. I told her I am not giving her a ride home. that there is the only one way out of the hospital, and that is to get help.
I am checking on her again in the morning. I don't know how I will react if she was really stubborn enough not to talk to anyone. We all decided if she wants to come back home, she will have to walk home from the hospital. I am the only one not working tomorrow, I was designated babysitter for tonight, and I left her. I feel like I have to give her a ride home even though I know I shouldn't. I feel bad for her. But maybe if she feels a little bit abandoned she will be more willing to seek treatment.
I hope I will be strong in the morning. I hope she makes the right decision tonight so I don't have to be strong in the morning. More than anything, I wish I could get a few hours of sleep tonight.
I am really wishing I hadn't stopped going to al-anon meetings I haven't been for several weeks now. I will start going again tonight.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 112
I am sorry you are going through this. Just know you are not alone.
You are not responsible for your mom getting home from the hospital. She is an adult, and alcoholics are very resourceful. I think it's great that you all agreed not to pick her up. Just remember, you told her the consequences before you left. If she chose not to talk to them and/or go to treatment, she knew what would happen. She made the choice, not you.
Being strong in the morning isn't just about being strong for tomorrow, it's the first step in taking control of your own life and setting boundaries.
Good luck!
You are not responsible for your mom getting home from the hospital. She is an adult, and alcoholics are very resourceful. I think it's great that you all agreed not to pick her up. Just remember, you told her the consequences before you left. If she chose not to talk to them and/or go to treatment, she knew what would happen. She made the choice, not you.
Being strong in the morning isn't just about being strong for tomorrow, it's the first step in taking control of your own life and setting boundaries.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
I am so sorry to hear of your Mothers hospitalization due to alcoholism.
I think it was a very good decision to let your Mom find her own ride home from the hospital allowing her to deal with the consequences of her actions and choice to drink.
Do you attend Al-Anon? It could be very helpful in providing support for dealing with your Mom and her alcoholism.
I think it was a very good decision to let your Mom find her own ride home from the hospital allowing her to deal with the consequences of her actions and choice to drink.
Do you attend Al-Anon? It could be very helpful in providing support for dealing with your Mom and her alcoholism.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 33
I had a big response/update written but that got lost in cyber space somehow.
Basically, it said thanks for all the support. I did not pick her up from the hospital, someone else did right before I got there in the morning. I talked to her that day, she refuses to get help. I didn't go to the meeting that day.
I think I finally understand what it means to be powerless over her addiction, I am not emotional this time. but I miss the sober her. I don't know how much longer she will be around. I don't think she cares how much longer she will be around. There is a meeting tonight that I want to go to, my only reservation is running into her. I just don't want to see her right now.
Basically, it said thanks for all the support. I did not pick her up from the hospital, someone else did right before I got there in the morning. I talked to her that day, she refuses to get help. I didn't go to the meeting that day.
I think I finally understand what it means to be powerless over her addiction, I am not emotional this time. but I miss the sober her. I don't know how much longer she will be around. I don't think she cares how much longer she will be around. There is a meeting tonight that I want to go to, my only reservation is running into her. I just don't want to see her right now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 377
Sadly I know this story all to well. My mom was the same way. But pills were her drug of choice.
My mom blacked out on many ocassions ending up in the hospital with no recollection of the night before. She would run out of norco,vicodin, whatever and take mass amounts of other pills to try and normalize herself. Ive been through 4-5 blackouts with her over the years. And of course the next day she wouldnt even seem to care what she had put me through, or I would get a unfelt "oh im sorry".
I find it very selfish really. But thats what addiction is. A world based around you and only you. Over time I would try not to care. Tell myself screw it. If she doesnt care about herself, then why should I. I would try my hardest not to care but I really always did.
So after all my teenage years of watching her addiction unfold, I finally got through to her as an adult. I helped detox her more than once, but I think in the last year she is off the stuff. I've heard from my sister she has tried to get tried to get a perscription of norco recently, but the doctor wouldnt give it to her. I question her about this and said WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING. She says she wasnt. But to this day I still check her medicine cabnit to see whats in there. As far as I know shes off the stuff, but Im not her babysitter either. I just have to judge by observation. It sad really how people choose drugs over life. I did it for years. 90+ days sober for me though! But I truly want to stay sober. With her, sometimes I dont know.
So I feel ya! Just wanted to share that with you
-Ryan
My mom blacked out on many ocassions ending up in the hospital with no recollection of the night before. She would run out of norco,vicodin, whatever and take mass amounts of other pills to try and normalize herself. Ive been through 4-5 blackouts with her over the years. And of course the next day she wouldnt even seem to care what she had put me through, or I would get a unfelt "oh im sorry".
I find it very selfish really. But thats what addiction is. A world based around you and only you. Over time I would try not to care. Tell myself screw it. If she doesnt care about herself, then why should I. I would try my hardest not to care but I really always did.
So after all my teenage years of watching her addiction unfold, I finally got through to her as an adult. I helped detox her more than once, but I think in the last year she is off the stuff. I've heard from my sister she has tried to get tried to get a perscription of norco recently, but the doctor wouldnt give it to her. I question her about this and said WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING. She says she wasnt. But to this day I still check her medicine cabnit to see whats in there. As far as I know shes off the stuff, but Im not her babysitter either. I just have to judge by observation. It sad really how people choose drugs over life. I did it for years. 90+ days sober for me though! But I truly want to stay sober. With her, sometimes I dont know.
So I feel ya! Just wanted to share that with you
-Ryan
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
