Was about to take an overdose...
Was about to take an overdose...
I became a member here a short while ago, just hoping really to 'moderate' my drinking and get some semblance into my existence. The final straw came when I hit the gin pretty hard (on my own at home, as usual), and entered into some kind of spaced out parallel universe. I'd been taking caffeine tablets during the day to make me feel awake and....well....everything just totally messed my head up.
I already am deep in the depths of depression- I'm dealing with a lot of no way out situations. Booze and suicidal thoughts don't mix well. That coupled with caffeine tablets- and you've got yourself a ticking bomb.
I gathered together every tablet I could find- four packets of paracetomol, 12 Panadol and three boxes of Iboprofen. I crushed them all up into a glass of water and was through floods of tears I was just about to drink it when I stopped myself. One thought flashed through my head- 'supposing this goes wrong and I don't die and wake up paralysed or brain damaged'?
It was so scary. The next two days were a total blur and I felt really spaced out, still. But something had hit me like a sledgehammer- I'd finally felt the power to stop. That's all I need. To STOP. I just hope like mad that I can.
I'm on Day 7 of total sobriety.
I already am deep in the depths of depression- I'm dealing with a lot of no way out situations. Booze and suicidal thoughts don't mix well. That coupled with caffeine tablets- and you've got yourself a ticking bomb.
I gathered together every tablet I could find- four packets of paracetomol, 12 Panadol and three boxes of Iboprofen. I crushed them all up into a glass of water and was through floods of tears I was just about to drink it when I stopped myself. One thought flashed through my head- 'supposing this goes wrong and I don't die and wake up paralysed or brain damaged'?
It was so scary. The next two days were a total blur and I felt really spaced out, still. But something had hit me like a sledgehammer- I'd finally felt the power to stop. That's all I need. To STOP. I just hope like mad that I can.
I'm on Day 7 of total sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 750
Glad you are here Gabrielle! Welcome and spend some time on this site. There are lots of people here who thought they would never be able to quit and find happiness, who have in fact quit and are happy and free! I'm finding out how now and am so thankfull for everybody here.
I am realizing how lucky I am to live in this era of technology that links us together to help and support one another.
I am realizing how lucky I am to live in this era of technology that links us together to help and support one another.
Hi Gabrielle You are not alone ... a few years ago I took a load of sleeping tablets and valium because I didn't want to be in pain anymore (I was in pain but not so much anymore) anyway, I took the tablets, then pooped myself (because I'm a wimp) and called an ambulance .... they did tests etc and said my electrolites were fine, then sent me home!! I was spaced out for about 4 days.... never again!!!
Gabby the World would be such an empty place in the circles without you.. love ardy.... http://youtu.be/tYy_M4lrH54
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