The Ceasing of Notions.
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
The Ceasing of Notions.
I must admit, I've taken the title for this post from the title of one of the late and much venerated Zen Master's, Soko Morinaga books.Although I think the other, 'Novice to Master' subtitled,' An Ongoing Lesson in The Extent of My Own Stupidity,' is perhaps more apt as that description fits me perfectly.
To at least begin my recovery from,not necessarily from the disease/illness of alcoholism, but of the drinking of alcohol that accompanied it. The first notion that had not just to cease, but be smashed was the idea that I could not only live, I've always had problems with that, but drink like other men. I couldn't.
The second being that, having like many others tried many different ways of controlling my drinking e.g. embarking on fitness regimes, reading religious and self help books, engaging in relationships, the less said of some, the better. Even taking an interest in music and learning to play an instrument, not very well and the old favourite, changing my drink... All of these notions failed, mostly quite miserably.
The only notion that worked was that of thoroughly following the suggested 12 Step path recommended in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' tempered with my own knowledge, understanding and research into it's history and development. Which allowed me, not to alter it but to add and enhance it, in my other readings and research which gave it greater credibility. Hey! Whadya expect? I'm an alcoholic...although I hasten to add this isn't necessary for everyone, it's just me being me, ok. We each have our own path or journey in recovery, just as we each have our own path to get here.
The third notion being, and this is the killer! That in recovery, I was doing it for everyone else, family,friends, employers, etc. so that they would see my struggles and would eventually benefit from my efforts. What a pathetic, delusional alcoholic I was! Entertaining the notion that my sobriety was not about me and more about my unselfish(?), self sacrificing (?) efforts on their behalf....
How stupid is that!!!
Regrettably, having now entered a prolonged period of sobriety,lasting, a day at a time, over six and half years. I now read about and see that third notion in existence in others who as I did feel their efforts in becoming sober exist in their popularity in or with others. Often claiming that they've neither the time or energy to get the help and support from those qualified to help them belying the idea that in recovery it's a very dangerous practice to put personalities before principles and that the ceasing of notions is, as I have found and now pass on to others.Is no bad thing in anyone's life, particularly those who seek recovery and hopefully prolonged sobriety from our disease/illness.
As the saying goes, you should do things with new clarity, otherwise you risk rewarding yourself with nothing.
Which includes the ceasing of notions....
To at least begin my recovery from,not necessarily from the disease/illness of alcoholism, but of the drinking of alcohol that accompanied it. The first notion that had not just to cease, but be smashed was the idea that I could not only live, I've always had problems with that, but drink like other men. I couldn't.
The second being that, having like many others tried many different ways of controlling my drinking e.g. embarking on fitness regimes, reading religious and self help books, engaging in relationships, the less said of some, the better. Even taking an interest in music and learning to play an instrument, not very well and the old favourite, changing my drink... All of these notions failed, mostly quite miserably.
The only notion that worked was that of thoroughly following the suggested 12 Step path recommended in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' tempered with my own knowledge, understanding and research into it's history and development. Which allowed me, not to alter it but to add and enhance it, in my other readings and research which gave it greater credibility. Hey! Whadya expect? I'm an alcoholic...although I hasten to add this isn't necessary for everyone, it's just me being me, ok. We each have our own path or journey in recovery, just as we each have our own path to get here.
The third notion being, and this is the killer! That in recovery, I was doing it for everyone else, family,friends, employers, etc. so that they would see my struggles and would eventually benefit from my efforts. What a pathetic, delusional alcoholic I was! Entertaining the notion that my sobriety was not about me and more about my unselfish(?), self sacrificing (?) efforts on their behalf....
How stupid is that!!!
Regrettably, having now entered a prolonged period of sobriety,lasting, a day at a time, over six and half years. I now read about and see that third notion in existence in others who as I did feel their efforts in becoming sober exist in their popularity in or with others. Often claiming that they've neither the time or energy to get the help and support from those qualified to help them belying the idea that in recovery it's a very dangerous practice to put personalities before principles and that the ceasing of notions is, as I have found and now pass on to others.Is no bad thing in anyone's life, particularly those who seek recovery and hopefully prolonged sobriety from our disease/illness.
As the saying goes, you should do things with new clarity, otherwise you risk rewarding yourself with nothing.
Which includes the ceasing of notions....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Some good insights there, Redmayne.
Nice to see a Mancunian here - I loved the joint when I spent nearly two months there in 2000. (Though I was drunk the whole time....that's part of my story, and fortunately, in the past.)
Nice to see a Mancunian here - I loved the joint when I spent nearly two months there in 2000. (Though I was drunk the whole time....that's part of my story, and fortunately, in the past.)
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Lao Tzu
Thanks for your comments, whilst born in a boarding house around the corner from Blackpool tower and raised initially on the Fylde coast. I must admit having lived and worked both in Manchester, Greater Manchester and all over the north west, for the past 44 years. I'm happy to be looked upon as a Mancunian, the city just gets better and better!
I think Lao Tzu also said,'What to a chrysalis is the end of the world.God sees as a butterfly.'
Which pretty much describes the effects of drinking, recovery and sobriety...just a thought.
I think Lao Tzu also said,'What to a chrysalis is the end of the world.God sees as a butterfly.'
Which pretty much describes the effects of drinking, recovery and sobriety...just a thought.
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Accepting ...
Very true,accepting there is a difference between natural progression in anyone or anything and expectations based on people things which may never, for whatever reason, come to fruition...
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Redmayne 
Very true,accepting there is a difference between natural progression in anyone or anything and expectations based on people things which may never, for whatever reason, come to fruition...
Resentment = not getting my way yesterday
Anger = not getting my way today
Fear = not getting my way tomorrow
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