My Amphetamine Addiction is Consuming Me!
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Thread Starter
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Townsend, MA
Posts: 5
My Amphetamine Addiction is Consuming Me!
I know it's not really considered a "hard" drug, but my addiction to Adderall is absolutly consuming me.
I find myself saying, out loud, that I'm not going to do it. I convince myself that it's simply not a good idea and the logical choice would be to stop. It makes perfect sense at the time, but then the slightest whim enters my mind and I find myself uncontrolably taking it again and again and again.
It really feels like there is a completly separate entity inside, controlling me. I find myself screaming inside to stop but my body moves to betray; cold, and calculated, with no remorse alowed.
Well I was just wondering if anyone else was battling an addiction to Amphetamine. At this point, I feel like I'm the only one in the world.
Thanks,
OrangeAddicted
I find myself saying, out loud, that I'm not going to do it. I convince myself that it's simply not a good idea and the logical choice would be to stop. It makes perfect sense at the time, but then the slightest whim enters my mind and I find myself uncontrolably taking it again and again and again.
It really feels like there is a completly separate entity inside, controlling me. I find myself screaming inside to stop but my body moves to betray; cold, and calculated, with no remorse alowed.
Well I was just wondering if anyone else was battling an addiction to Amphetamine. At this point, I feel like I'm the only one in the world.
Thanks,
OrangeAddicted
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
Hi Orange,
You're definitely not the only one. Amphetimines are were is will always be my downfall. My drug of choice was crystal meth and I haven't used it in 14 yrs. but my step son is on adderall and I have the school administer it because I don't want it in the house. I don't have a desire to use but I know about that deceitful thinking. Addiction is a very a very sneaky disease. There are many of us here that understand your struggle. Hang around and join us.
You're definitely not the only one. Amphetimines are were is will always be my downfall. My drug of choice was crystal meth and I haven't used it in 14 yrs. but my step son is on adderall and I have the school administer it because I don't want it in the house. I don't have a desire to use but I know about that deceitful thinking. Addiction is a very a very sneaky disease. There are many of us here that understand your struggle. Hang around and join us.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Townsend, MA
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by tobstah
wow! congrats stephanie!! im 4 months ...
A part of me is hoping that it stays that way, yet realistically I know that, if made available again, I will go back to it.
It's the same loop I go through all the time, hopefully this will be the last one...
-OrangeAddicted-
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
welcome Orange !
My name is Trish and I am an addict,I feel you on the thinking problem! I use AA as my means of recovery today and havent used for almost a year.Addiction is proggressive and always gets worse.I hope you decide to stop now before the elevator goes all the way down .
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Leicester U,K
Posts: 1
Hi There
Believe me you are not on your own, Ive been battling amphetamine for nearly 15 years. I am ashamed to admit I Inject it. I so badly want to stop it but I dont seem to have any will power. I if you ever want to chat my yehoo ,messenger its [email protected]
Originally Posted by OrangeAddicted
I know it's not really considered a "hard" drug, but my addiction to Adderall is absolutly consuming me.
I find myself saying, out loud, that I'm not going to do it. I convince myself that it's simply not a good idea and the logical choice would be to stop. It makes perfect sense at the time, but then the slightest whim enters my mind and I find myself uncontrolably taking it again and again and again.
It really feels like there is a completly separate entity inside, controlling me. I find myself screaming inside to stop but my body moves to betray; cold, and calculated, with no remorse alowed.
Well I was just wondering if anyone else was battling an addiction to Amphetamine. At this point, I feel like I'm the only one in the world.
Thanks,
OrangeAddicted
I find myself saying, out loud, that I'm not going to do it. I convince myself that it's simply not a good idea and the logical choice would be to stop. It makes perfect sense at the time, but then the slightest whim enters my mind and I find myself uncontrolably taking it again and again and again.
It really feels like there is a completly separate entity inside, controlling me. I find myself screaming inside to stop but my body moves to betray; cold, and calculated, with no remorse alowed.
Well I was just wondering if anyone else was battling an addiction to Amphetamine. At this point, I feel like I'm the only one in the world.
Thanks,
OrangeAddicted
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 6
Yes, Yes, Yes. I Have Allowed Speed To Rule Every Other Ten Minute Interval Of My Last 12 Years On This Planet, And Yes I Was Always Planning To Quit The Other 10 Min Intervals. And I Made It Like 7 Days, 7 Whole Days, And Grabbed The Levis That I Hadnt Worn Since October Out Of My Closet(its Still So Dang Messy, That I Forget About What I Own And What I Actually Wear) Drum Roll.......right Hand Front Pocket, Something Familiar....a Coated Old Tattered Old School Sandwich Baggie.....no Sandwich In There-just 15 Hours Of Guilt, 15 Hours Of Guilt That I Ever So Carefully Scraped And Snorted Out Of The Non Sandwich Baggie, Ugh!! Back To Day 0. Yes There Are Many Of Us Fighting The Darkness Of Amphes. Call On Me Any Ol Time, Orange....i Feel Your Tremendous Pain And It Is Enough To Lose Yourselfin, But Just Keep Checkin Out All This Forum Has To Offer, And Figure Out Where Your Higher Power Is And Ask For Help Often. Be Careful With The Pills Saw A Few Bad Reactions In My Time. Here For You All. Goodnight. Bless Me Father For I Have Sinned.
Valari
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 42
i think i abuse every pill i get my hands on. was speed then a yucky ex boyfriend of mine got a script cuz he had "add"...
lalalalalal...
went from taking them to snorting them.
even tried myself to go to the ol head dr. and get a script myself.
just left w a peice of paper for bloodwork and lithium.
dr. head came to a conclusion that i was a little more messed up than add.
either that or he read right through me... wanted to scare me or somethin.
needless to say headed right back down the road to meth street. it really is a dead end. sorry for all the puns....................
anyway... adderall just made me want meth again. didn't replace it just made the taste stronger.
it sucks. there is withdrawl. i'm surre you know. take it from me, from pills it does get worse.
i am 10 days completely clean today!! hoorah...
you will be too.
valari
lalalalalal...
went from taking them to snorting them.
even tried myself to go to the ol head dr. and get a script myself.
just left w a peice of paper for bloodwork and lithium.
dr. head came to a conclusion that i was a little more messed up than add.
either that or he read right through me... wanted to scare me or somethin.
needless to say headed right back down the road to meth street. it really is a dead end. sorry for all the puns....................
anyway... adderall just made me want meth again. didn't replace it just made the taste stronger.
it sucks. there is withdrawl. i'm surre you know. take it from me, from pills it does get worse.
i am 10 days completely clean today!! hoorah...
you will be too.
valari
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