Need Advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 598
Need Advice
Ok, so as addict I'm sure most of you have been ripped off or lost money at some point. It's happened to me several times (when will I learn) but I've just written it off. Usually small amounts. And I just sucked up my losses and moved on from them.
But there was one guy....I had been buying off him for a year. He was the ex of a friend of mine, so I knew him fairly well. He used to get a script of 10s once a month - and I used to buy about 200 of them from him. He would hit me up early for money a lot...but he always came through in the end.
So the last month I was going to get them, about two days ahead he needed money. I gave him the entire amount as I trusted him (so stupid, he's an addict as well). Waited for the text...nothing. When I texted him he said he forgot to give his name for the script, so it would be the next day. Never heard from him. He didn't respond to my texts. About two months went by, and finally he answered my text with a story of how he failed his UA, and then he was in rehab, and his doctor dropped him, blah blah blah. How sorry he was, and he would find a way to make it up to me.
I don't know what really happened, if what he told me was true or not. Like I said he's an addict, he's broke, and has a lot going on. He's not a bad guy, he's really not. But he's in a tough place and I know that. And honestly, he played a part in my getting sober. Losing that connection was big to me - he also would get me 30's from time to time. I actually forgive him for it. I know the life of an addict is tough.
So here's where I need advice. It's not $50, or even $100 I lost. It was $1600. I'm out $1600 and I want it back. I haven't heard from him in about 7 months now? I've been toying with the idea of contacting him, but here's the thing. I know there is no way he'll come up with the money. I think I was paying his child support to my friend. But what if he found another doctor and tries to pay me back in pills? I think it's too dangerous to put myself in that situation - I'm not sure I'm strong enough to turn that down. That's if he even responds to me, who knows. I could call my friend (we're not that close....used to work with her....but have spent a lot of time outside work with her) - though not sure she could help, and it's really not her problem.
So, what do you all think? Should I just suck it up and cut my losses? Or do I try to contact him/her and see? I honestly think it best I stay away from him and the situation - but I can't get over how much money that is! Like I said I've been able to walk away before and write the losses off, but they were no where near this amount of money. I just can't stop thinking about it, and I don't know what to do.
But there was one guy....I had been buying off him for a year. He was the ex of a friend of mine, so I knew him fairly well. He used to get a script of 10s once a month - and I used to buy about 200 of them from him. He would hit me up early for money a lot...but he always came through in the end.
So the last month I was going to get them, about two days ahead he needed money. I gave him the entire amount as I trusted him (so stupid, he's an addict as well). Waited for the text...nothing. When I texted him he said he forgot to give his name for the script, so it would be the next day. Never heard from him. He didn't respond to my texts. About two months went by, and finally he answered my text with a story of how he failed his UA, and then he was in rehab, and his doctor dropped him, blah blah blah. How sorry he was, and he would find a way to make it up to me.
I don't know what really happened, if what he told me was true or not. Like I said he's an addict, he's broke, and has a lot going on. He's not a bad guy, he's really not. But he's in a tough place and I know that. And honestly, he played a part in my getting sober. Losing that connection was big to me - he also would get me 30's from time to time. I actually forgive him for it. I know the life of an addict is tough.
So here's where I need advice. It's not $50, or even $100 I lost. It was $1600. I'm out $1600 and I want it back. I haven't heard from him in about 7 months now? I've been toying with the idea of contacting him, but here's the thing. I know there is no way he'll come up with the money. I think I was paying his child support to my friend. But what if he found another doctor and tries to pay me back in pills? I think it's too dangerous to put myself in that situation - I'm not sure I'm strong enough to turn that down. That's if he even responds to me, who knows. I could call my friend (we're not that close....used to work with her....but have spent a lot of time outside work with her) - though not sure she could help, and it's really not her problem.
So, what do you all think? Should I just suck it up and cut my losses? Or do I try to contact him/her and see? I honestly think it best I stay away from him and the situation - but I can't get over how much money that is! Like I said I've been able to walk away before and write the losses off, but they were no where near this amount of money. I just can't stop thinking about it, and I don't know what to do.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 32
I would move past the point of contacting him
Eat the tough loss and consider it a buyout from further addiction. I had a similar situation with a dealer friend of mine. He left town (with $200) and so did my temptation
A total relapse is far worse for your health and future than the money lost
Eat the tough loss and consider it a buyout from further addiction. I had a similar situation with a dealer friend of mine. He left town (with $200) and so did my temptation
A total relapse is far worse for your health and future than the money lost
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Eyes I have to agree with everyone here to cut your losses! That $1600 isn't worth possibly sabotaging your recovery for! Not only that..but just think how much money your addiction wasted? I know mine was a very huge loss! So if you can cut that loss...might as well just throw in the 1,600 along with it?
Because if your getting in touch leads to a relapse....you can say bye bye to a whole lot more money then that!
Because if your getting in touch leads to a relapse....you can say bye bye to a whole lot more money then that!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 303
Ive been robbed, threatened, attacked, etc. lost thousands... if you think about the losses it will just eat you up inside and drag you back down. Like others said leave it in the past as just another mistake we make as addicts. I found myself getting dragged back into things because id always be trying to get back something owed to me before i quit. Just gotta cut losses and leave it, block the dudes number, doesn't matter if he's a good guy, when youre trying to get off drugs you gotta come first. Think of it as a $1600 educational lesson. Your words remind me of things i've said in the past and trust me it doesnt work out.
Good luck, i know its hard to leave behind such a large amount of money, but isn't being sober worth it?
Good luck, i know its hard to leave behind such a large amount of money, but isn't being sober worth it?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Cut your losses. You knew he was an addict, but you trusted him. He didn't deliver.
Been there, done that, got the t-shirts. Almost 8 years into recovery, it's just one of those things I did when using and I learned a lesson, albeit an expensive one.
I could focus on all the money I spent while doing drugs or I can focus on recovery. For me? Recovery rules, the rest is just part of the past I no longer want to return to.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Been there, done that, got the t-shirts. Almost 8 years into recovery, it's just one of those things I did when using and I learned a lesson, albeit an expensive one.
I could focus on all the money I spent while doing drugs or I can focus on recovery. For me? Recovery rules, the rest is just part of the past I no longer want to return to.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,375
Eyes, I just dont see what good could come of that. Its highly unlikely he is going to cut you a check and offer an apology
. I think you are right that it would prolly be dope if anything.
One way to look at it is you have saved many times that $1600 by getting off pills. You are way ahead financially even if you just let this go.
. I think you are right that it would prolly be dope if anything.One way to look at it is you have saved many times that $1600 by getting off pills. You are way ahead financially even if you just let this go.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
Let me tell you a true story. I got hammered drunk as usual one night and placed a massive spread bet on my stock trading account when in a blackout. I totally forgot about it for 24 hours and by the time I logged back in my account was $0. I lost just short of half a million dollars....in 24 hours....and that was most of my net worth at the time.
$1,600 is a lot of money but much, much worse can and will happen to you. Stay sober, suck it up and move on buddy.
$1,600 is a lot of money but much, much worse can and will happen to you. Stay sober, suck it up and move on buddy.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
If the initial deal with your friend was "I give you $1600, and you give an equal value in pills" then you would have taken the pills and been out of $1600 anyway. The only reason you are out of anything, is he screwed you on the pills. Oh well.
So, yes, to echo everybody else, let it go.
So, yes, to echo everybody else, let it go.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Move forward, not back! Write this off as a lesson learned and continue your recovery.
Contacting his ex will only cause pain for her and probably not result in you getting your money back.
Congratulations on your recovery!
Contacting his ex will only cause pain for her and probably not result in you getting your money back.
Congratulations on your recovery!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 598
Thank you everyone - I know you are all right. And in my heart, I knew the answer but thought maybe if I expelled it out of myself and on to the boards I would stop obsessing about it.
Agreed in I can't picture he is in any better condition than was 7 months ago, so no - I don't see a prayer of him having the money. I do truly think he felt bad about it, so as said if anything it would be dope. And my AV would rear up and say - take it, sell it, get some of your money back. Yeah, right. It would be up my nose before you could say boo. And you all are right in that I would have spent that money anyways. Expensive lesson learned, but yes - I have saved so many thousands of dollars in these past six months that it's truly disgusting (seeing just how much I spent).
Thank you all for your stories - you were able to put this in perspective for me in a way I could not. And that's what I needed and why I love this site.
Thanks again - and yes, I'm letting it go now. Contacting him in any way, shape, or form would not end well. Certainly not worth losing the time I have built up. I just needed someone else to slap some sense in to me!
Agreed in I can't picture he is in any better condition than was 7 months ago, so no - I don't see a prayer of him having the money. I do truly think he felt bad about it, so as said if anything it would be dope. And my AV would rear up and say - take it, sell it, get some of your money back. Yeah, right. It would be up my nose before you could say boo. And you all are right in that I would have spent that money anyways. Expensive lesson learned, but yes - I have saved so many thousands of dollars in these past six months that it's truly disgusting (seeing just how much I spent).
Thank you all for your stories - you were able to put this in perspective for me in a way I could not. And that's what I needed and why I love this site.
Thanks again - and yes, I'm letting it go now. Contacting him in any way, shape, or form would not end well. Certainly not worth losing the time I have built up. I just needed someone else to slap some sense in to me!
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