lwthomp

My husband is in recovery from alcohol and Oxycontin. he has been home from rehab for nearly three weeks and has had one night where he “fell off the wagon” and drank almost a bottle of wine. We have had some serious problems leading up to that night and, since then, I have started to discover my own need to work on my recovery from co-dependence, and we are back on an upward tick in the right direction. My concern is that he is having the worst time sleeping at night. It worries me about his mental state if he doesn't sleep. I believe that he is dealing with some paws, but hell, I don’t know much of anything right now for sure….my question is, does anyone have any suggestions on ways to help him sleep? He takes melatonin and otc sleep aids, but they don’t seem to work at all. He is always so damn restless. Any suggestions that I might be able to pass to him would be greatly appreciated.

heartcore

Please read the melatonin sticky in the sleep and insomnia forum. I was taking it nightly before I read that, and have now discontinued it.

I'm at 47 days, and am still struggling with intense insomnia. I have good nights and bad nights. I'm trying to really focus on sleep & make it one of my "sobriety projects." In truth, it is the primary thing I'm working on in my life at the moment. I realize that a great deal of my alcohol/drug abuse has been a response to insomnia, a startling revelation.

I am doing everything helpful that I could find on the internet - a white noise machine, room cool, lavender essential oil on the bedclothes, no caffeine in the evening, no computer phone or movie watching (electronics use) an hour before bedtime. I've also started sleeping with a mouth-guard, as I'm aware that I grind my teeth and think maybe that wakes me up.

The most useful thing is exercising daily; I've noticed on the few days that I don't work out, it is much worse.

Even with all that in place, I still have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I'm just being patient with myself at this point.

What I notice reading your post though is that you are taking on this problem for your husband. I noticed that you were talking about working on your own codie recovery. While his sleep habits do impact you - both through tired grouchiness and because if you are sleeping in the same bed, it probably wakes you - the real task ahead is simply figuring out how you are going to respond to it for you. If he is waking you throughout the night, you may need to sleep elsewhere after cuddle time.

My suggestion would be to use this issue as an interesting opportunity to work on the codie part. He's a grown up fella, so he can likely do the research and adjustments and inquiry to solve or work on his sleep issues. What does it feel like if you simply don't get involved, but make plans to fix any impact it has directly on you?

lonelynn

I can do that. It's funny that you mention that, because after I posted it I reread it and thought "wow, that really shows my codependency!" I will share the sticky on melatonin with him and end my involvement from there. He wouldn't mind if I slept elsewhere because he doesn't want to keep me up. Thanks for helping me realize another one of my codie problems to work on. I'm new at this and need all the help I can get

biminiblue

You could practice a little more by not showing him that sticky.

lonelynn

Thanks blue, I didn't show it to him

four812

He may have problems sleeping for a while. If he wants to sleep better he will make some changes. Perhaps the alcohol has been knocking him out and now his body needs to learn how to sleep. Plenty of obvious things to change. Coffee and cigarettes and bad diet hurt sleep.....excercise and meditation twice a day help......and whatever he finds that works for him

Good luck and it's good to work on you at your meetings. If he drinks and lies about it to you that indicates problem (true in my case anyway). Us drinkers and users know how to manipulate you,the co dependant, so we can drink again.

Good luck

Dee74

Seeing a Dr is probably a good idea if you or your husband is concerned lwthorp?

D

cleaninLI

I hope your husband is getting better sleep.

lonelynn

Thanks, I think he is now