gi812many

My story starts back in 2008, where I was introduced to these little blue pills. I'm a former military, current Private Military Contractor, father and husband. I dealt with terrible anxiety and paranoia why I have no clue. I remember the day I woke up with it, felt like one of our night raids where my stomach was in nots waiting for our extract and then all would be slow motion and pure peace. But this time around the anxiety never left from the moment I woke up till the moment I went to sleep. I developed voices which would taunt me and it was a daily battle putting them in places where I was able to function. They only came when there was peace, when I was at work or in the thicke of it they would go away. I seriously thought it was the soul of one person that never left my mind. Anyway I came back to the states transitioning to a PMC roughly 2007 and started having problems with my first wife, I couldn't deal with bars or big social gatherings, peoples stupidity drove me nuts and lack of respect for one another and myself. A bunch of idiots who have no clue about life is how I felt. I just wanted to go to work and feel alive again and stop the anxiety. Well it happen my wife left me and moved back to Finland, we weren't right for one another but I was devastated. We had been together from kids, she was beside me through everything, during my training I had to learn a foreign language which was Russian which she spoke and helped me learn, I spent 14 months away from home while in Iraq one time where she heard from me maybe 7 times. My job was demanding but she was proud of what I was and who I had become. Although she didn't know I was losing my mind and I often scared myself. Anyways I use to watch planes fly from our home in WPB and I would cry to myself and locked myself in my house for literally 2 months, full beard like back in Iraq and left to go shoot or gym or food that was it. One of my buddies lived in Delray told me I'm taking u out and gave me a happy pill he called it, I took it. I'm a big guy, former college football player until I enlisted right after 9/11 and my body is beat up pretty bad. I felt no anxiety, no pain and pure euphoria. Was incredible. He hit me up I don't know 2 weeks later with 600 of them and I bought 500...well let's says I are them like candy. I was super man, I was unstoppable at everything. My career flourished, got a prescription due to 3 former surgeries and was on till 2011, March to be exact. I got to where I hated the pill feeling I felt them in my bones it was just a gross feeling. Got sick in Africa, NYC and in AZ and never experienced being that sick. I got on subox which was the worst move I have ever made in my life. 3 days of withdraw I could deal with, this was 4 months!!!!! 4 months!!!!!! Stay away from that poison!!!! Fast forward to now, I'm remarried, have a beautiful son and was clean till 2013, Jan. Started with Tabs and lead me right back to Roxi's. I don't know how I've done this! This time around no script and they are $35, they are bank rolling me. So I'm in Orlando now detoxing on my own, my life and family are more important then these things. They don't even feel the same, seem weaker??? Well I was told about Loperamide - 60 to 100 tabs, Robitussin - 1-5 and Tagamet - 1-5 tabs. I'm on day 4 and I'm shocked. I'm blown away....I've had no withdraws, shocked. I can't take more than 2 Robitussin or I'm out like a lightbulb and I take 2 Tagamet and 70 Loperamide. My addiction was 14 30mgs Roxis daily and I'm fine. Sleeping, eating, everything normal. I reduced my Loperamide to 40 today and I'm fine, 1 robitussin and 1 Tagamet. I am alittle tired but had a coffee and was rocking. Hit the gym, made 4 meals, my vitamins. Just passing this along because this could really save some lives. Subox, Methadone are for the birds. Stay away from that Doctor dope man suggestion. Doctors today are dope men, same with half the detox centers, in ur insurance companies wallets. This is it, I'm done with these things, my son is owed a better future than a junky dad. I can say though, my anxiety has never come back after my first detox of all these pain meds? Maybe there's something they do for people who suffered cronic anxiety like me? Refuse to call it PTSD

FT

Hi GI,

Welcome to SR! Your story is amazing, and I hope you can put the opiates behind you once and for all.

Do you get to see your kids? Did they go back to Finland with your wife?

You are still young, with your whole life ahead of you. I wish you well.

Be careful with the Robitussin. Some have found it addicting, but I don't have experience with it. It is also called DXM here on SR, stands for dextromethorphan.

I hope others come along to help you here, as well.

FT

ViktorVice

We sound very much alike my friend. I do hope things go well for you.
Udacha n do svidaniya.

gi812many

Spaciba Viktor...yes my son is with my new wife. She is in the dark on my use, which is not healthy AT ALL. My ex wife and I are still very good friends and she is back in the states. I leave for Moldova in 8 weeks so I don't have a choice. We bought a flat in the capital and from there we visit her father in Moscow. So being sick is just not something I can afford to be. I'm on my 3rd day and I'm ok! I'm really amazed at this over the counter remedy, I truly can not believe it. I leave home tomorrow and I have erased all my contacts, I just can not afford to be tempted to go back. I've already felt the feelings of wanting one and I look at a picture of my wife and son and it helps. I had horrible dreams last night, dreams I've not had since I've been on pills. Guess something just got to deal with. Being away from my wife is really hard on me, she's a major comfort zone...truly my soul mate. I woke up by myself and freaked a bit, almost hoped in the car and drove 11 hours back to them. I want to have 4 days away from everyone, seems to be the day in the past atleast I start turning for the best. Guys I spent $4900 in a month on these things....money that could have paid my wife's surgery, fixed her stupid 7 series BMW whose warranty expired 2 months before it broke!!! Lol I'm a very strong minded person and this is truly my weakness. Now that I have the withdrawals under control it's going to be the temptation. Last time I got off I moved to this new city and knew no one. Now I do so this is new territory for me. I move right before we leave to Moldova back to WPB which I know no one there on this stuff now.

Stride34

Ahhh, so the loperamide is working for you. Congrats. I would consider yourself extremely lucky, run, and do NOT look back, or you will regret it so badly in the future.

ViktorVice

This is my first time going in withdrawal for the both benzos & OxyContin and Roxis. I've kicked the pain pills before, but in this year of 2014 I lost it after brother in blood passed on. Then Valium and Xanax entered picture for me. Those are making my withdrawals so much more difficult.

GI812Many, how long had you been on those ******* blue devils as I call them?
Ti si smotva, roxi is what I tell myself Everytime I wish for one. Which is many times an hour.

I imagine your injuries to be of great scale as well. As mine are. I try to rationalize taking drug because I have "earned it". It brings much difficulty, I know.

Stay strong, and honor your brothers fallen by leading good life. That is what is motivation for me.

Regards, Viktor.

ViktorVice

Убирайся из моей головы Roxi, think that my friend. Or if you believe in God, seek unto him. вы не одиноки, потому что Бог есть с вами во все времена.

I got this tattoo much time ago,"ты солдат. Вы хотите, что каждый солдат хочет, почетной смертью, чтобы облегчить боль, которую вы терпетb" - when I got it, I got it referring to my own life. Not understand why I am lucky one, but better men not lucky. Now, I see it as death to addictions of mine.

Apologies for this not on track with your helpful guide, and life story. Just remember what you are fighting for my friend. A good wife, and family are the most worthy of battles.

Regards, Viktor.

GravyDave

gi812many,

For your loperamide/DXM/Tagamet detox remedies (which I've learned about from a YouTube video). did you dose 70 loperamide on Day 1 of your withdrawal, then 40 on Day 2? I just wanted to be clear on how you went about doing that remedy without experiencing any withdrawal.