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Kicking the oxys - Part 5

Old 12-14-2011, 03:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Cassandra48 View Post
Hi it's day 18 for me and I'm still not feeling great. Really getting anxious about the holidays. Have to travel back home, go to parties, come back, unpack etc. I've read that some people have been given Wellbutrin for wd's. It's basically the same thing as Zyban for quitting smoking. I was going to call my dr and ask for a script for that. Can't be a bad thing to stop smoking too right? Any thoughts?
The only experience I've had with any antidepressants was elavil which is an older one that worked well for me years ago when I got depressed apparently for no reason,,, I can't take the new ones,, they make me feel psychotic,,,, good Luck... you rock...
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Old 12-14-2011, 03:56 PM
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Hey ya'll,,, I'm doing better today and back on the plan... I can see ya'll are still struggling in your own way too.... I can tell you that when I got so sick from drinking my house was a complete mess and my ex came over and went to get my dad whom I rarely have anything to do with and begged him to help me bc he was actually worried that I would die... any one who knows me knows I'd never let my house go like that unless I was seriously ill,,, thank god I'm no where near that sick... just wanted to check in quickly and let ya'll know that I'm ok and am making plans to thwart the next urge when it his bc I know it will,, I love ya'll take care and all you guys rockk peace out.
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Old 12-14-2011, 05:48 PM
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Thank you for the suggestions/responses.

I wasn't prescribed the Oxy but have been getting it from a friend for a year or so (the friend has it prescribed for fibro). For a long time I took it only 2-3 times a week, if that. It's only been the last few months that I really started taking it (well, and snorting it at times, as well) more often.

Today is day 1 without it. It wasn't too hard but for a couple of moments here and there. I do feel somewhat nauseous and emotional. The obsessive thoughts of alcohol were better today, though (day 5 of no alcohol).

Thanks again,
Dylan
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Old 12-15-2011, 09:17 AM
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Originally Posted by DylanS View Post
Thank you for the suggestions/responses.

I wasn't prescribed the Oxy but have been getting it from a friend for a year or so (the friend has it prescribed for fibro). For a long time I took it only 2-3 times a week, if that. It's only been the last few months that I really started taking it (well, and snorting it at times, as well) more often.

Today is day 1 without it. It wasn't too hard but for a couple of moments here and there. I do feel somewhat nauseous and emotional. The obsessive thoughts of alcohol were better today, though (day 5 of no alcohol).

Thanks again,
Dylan
Sounds like your doing great. You will definately be glad that you are doing this now instead of giving it any more time to get a hold of you. I don't know if you've read any of the older posts from anyone on here but I can tell you they have sure been through the misery... I don't know how bad it will get for you before it gets better but I do know the longer a person waits, the worse it is.and especially if they start up again and then have to come off of it... for some reason its worse,,, hang in there and make sure and listen to ft and the others and you'll be fine..... rooting for you.
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Old 12-15-2011, 09:17 AM
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Originally Posted by DylanS View Post
Thank you for the suggestions/responses.

I wasn't prescribed the Oxy but have been getting it from a friend for a year or so (the friend has it prescribed for fibro). For a long time I took it only 2-3 times a week, if that. It's only been the last few months that I really started taking it (well, and snorting it at times, as well) more often.

Today is day 1 without it. It wasn't too hard but for a couple of moments here and there. I do feel somewhat nauseous and emotional. The obsessive thoughts of alcohol were better today, though (day 5 of no alcohol).

Thanks again,
Dylan
Sounds like your doing great. You will definately be glad that you are doing this now instead of giving it any more time to get a hold of you. I don't know if you've read any of the older posts from anyone on here but I can tell you they have sure been through the misery... I don't know how bad it will get for you before it gets better but I do know the longer a person waits, the worse it is.and especially if they start up again and then have to come off of it... for some reason its worse,,, hang in there and make sure and listen to ft and the others and you'll be fine..... rooting for you.
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Spica View Post
Hi all!

It has been 93 days oxy free for me. Over the last few days my energy has really picked up and I have been methodically cleaning and purging each room in the house including the garage. I cannot believe just how cluttered and dirty I let the house get during my oxy road trip from hell.

Still no job - do not know what I will do - most employers check credit now and mine is toast due to running up bills and then losing the job and then breaking my ankle and racking up $$$$ in hospital and doctor bills. Prior to May of this year I was never late on a bill and now I cannot pay anything and I have collectors calling all times of the day...sigh....

This is the only down side right now. Trying to make sense of the wreckage I wreaked on my life over the past three years when my oxy usage skyrocketed to infinity and beyond (still not sure how I lived through it all).

While I try not to dwell on the negative I am very concerned about what to do for employment - it is tough out there!!! (I am single and have always been independent and had a career and supported my son and myself and have never been in this position before).

Other than that - the ankle still hurts quite a bit but ibuprofen works so I am happy. I am doing my best to maintain a positive attitude while I work through the aftermath - I sometimes wander around in amazement thinking "what the hell was I doing and why?" I guess that is also part of the healing process.

One positive note...I was voted in to chair a meeting at my homegroup on Thursday nights so I am excited about that - at least providing some type of service work to others.

For anyone just getting off oxys - stick around - it will take a while to physically feel better but we do get better! With the exception of the work concerns I am doing amazing (and I also have oxy to thank for getting me into the unemployment mess - just that more reason to not look back and think..."Oh, just one...")

Hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there!!!

Happy Holidays!!!
Hey Spica,, I was just re reading this from yesterday and It is so much like I felt when I ended up in the hospital 3 different times in 8 mos from drinking.. I swear on my life, If you'd have known me before that happened you would have never bet that I would end up in that shape. I lost my marriage and then my job,,, not from drinking,, just from life ya know,, anyway the drinking is how I handled it... or thought I was,,, truth is I couldn't handle it. I had absolutely no coping skills... I had never had anything happen to me before. When it all hit,,, I was completely devastated. I started drinking heavier and heavier until i didn't even know I was in the world. I think I came dangerously close to dying... when I finally snapped out of all of that and took a look around,,, it was terrible.... and now I had all those hospital bills.. before I lost my job I had perfect credit... I was never late with any bills either... now I can't even get my belk card renewed.. It makes me sick when I think about what I did to myself and my kids... It scared them to death to see me like that... I've always just been good ole dependable mom... never ever anything like the shape I ended up. I also got a DWI during all of that... I can get the monitor out of my car next month and finally got my driving license back a few weeks ago... I am so looking forward to having that damn thing taken out of my car and that will be the last of it. I am extremely blessed that worse didn't happen as a result of my drinking but I still feel terribly depressed and ashamed too that I was so weak and couldn't handle things. I know how awful it feels to look around and come out of a fog and see just what a mess things are... It aint no fun.. I just thought I would let you know so you wouldn't feel so bad maybe......... I hope so anyway... things can only get better now... Im glad your getting better.. stay strong and keep fighting.. I bet you will find a job before too much longer and that will make you feel better... stay cool...rinky.
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Old 12-15-2011, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by dizzydolphin View Post
It's actually been 79 days, I'm losing track lol maybe that is a good sign?
Hey Dizzy D... I miss you, I hope your gonna post some time today. Here is the quote for the day.. I just remembered ,,, I don't think I've put one up in a few days... Here goes.

...... Fools sometimes make money, but money also sometimes makes fools...

I hope your having a good day.. wow 80 days now... way to go. you rock! ttyl.
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Old 12-15-2011, 04:48 PM
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Thanks for the shout out Rinky! I'm also dealing with the havoc I've wreaked on my life also. It's a struggle but at least I have the clarity and time to sort it all out. Instead of spending all that time at dr.s, pharmacies, and dealers searching, for those blue devils. Damn that was so exhausting, this should be a breeze. But unfortunately it is slow going, or at least seems that way. At least I'm on the right path and just deal with whatever comes up one day at a time.

Spica: that's so great you doing a meeting, I'm not that brave. I would like to do some charity work since I'm not working. You inspired me to want to give back in some way. You sound like you are doing awesome. My energy is better, but still not constant, have good days and some not so good days, but more good days than not.

Cassandra: you sound like things are looking up for you, that's great! Congrats on day 18!


Hope everyone has a great and sober night!

Keep FOKING THEM OX!!
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Old 12-15-2011, 06:51 PM
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Where in the world is everyone...

Iwillbefree, Iliveforyou, ruby,ohyea,, shes workin,,, I know ft has finals , thanks cassandra for your support... you always have something positive to say to me... I didn't mean to leave you out. But where in the world is everyone today... gosh, it's been so quiet it's almost creepy. I know there are more but I just can't get them to come to mind at the moment. I hope neveragain is doing ok. OH well,, I will be glad when ya'll come back... missin you... ttyl
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Old 12-16-2011, 05:52 AM
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OK ya'll

Now I really feel like I've been deserted especially since I saw yesterday eve that some of you were posting on different threads... It is so strange that none of you have posted since I think the other day, except for dizzy. Has all of you decided to leave our thread... just wondering..Anyway, I am on my way to the clinic after this and wanted to see how everyone was before I left. I hope to see something from someone later today or I guess our thread is dead all of a sudden, and another funny thing is there were two new ones needing help here since day before yesterday and I told them to hold on for some of you that have so much usefull experience and none of you have been back since then,, guess they will have to go else where.... I'm sorry but I just think we should support our thread and be here atleast a little to help new people.... Just sayin.. Here is the quote for the day....

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment... Ralph Waldo Emerson....

I hope to see some of you have checked in when I get home later... still missin ya'll...

love Rinky.
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Old 12-16-2011, 09:45 AM
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ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ALL OX FOKERS!


It has come to my attention, that no one is attending class! And those of you who ARE attending class, are NOT taking notes, and it is my FIRM BELIEF that you are gossiping to boot!

All Righty Then. Enough is Enough.


IF YOU DON'T POST TO THIS FORUM NOW, I AM GOING TO SHOOT THIS KITTY CAT!




Rinky, now you know why I've had to let my alter-ego loose here and there on this thread. Sometimes it seems like NOBODY IS LISTENING!

Maybe nobody IS listening? I don't know. This is the only thread where I let it all hang out, and it's because I figure nobody is paying attention anyway.

ENOUGH, I say! All right everyone. Just because I've slacked off does NOT mean that YOU can! If I don't see some more posts on here soon, well, I am going to start to get mad.

Back in the 70's when I was not OLD YET, I there was a hilarious magazine cover circulating around, and I've thought of that magazine cover at times when I've wanted to get the attention of people who MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT BE READING!

Let me apologize for anyone who might be shocked at the opening lines of this post, but let me assure you I am the QUEEN OF PLAGIARISM!

Most of you are too young to remember this magazine cover, but even if you are as OLD as I am, maybe you weren't a pot smoking hippie like I was and didn't read the NATIONAL LAMPOON.




NOW, can we get back down to business?

I'll back with some sage advice soon!

Love to you all!

FT
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Old 12-16-2011, 10:13 AM
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Lmfao!!!! Hahaha!!!
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Old 12-16-2011, 10:36 AM
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Okay, folks.

Yes, I got through my finals and two papers. I did great on most, but crappy on one of the papers. My heart just wasn't in it, and that spells disaster.

Yet, I made it through. One more quarter down. Two more quarters to go. I'm too old for this, yet I continue to torture myself with going to school. I almost consider it an addiction, maybe a manic replacement for how addiction can take me over if not held in check.

Given that, I'm back. At least for a few weeks. Then another quarter begins.

But I diverge....

I wanted to get back to the good people on this thread.

heyitsme, how are you? You should be going on something like 17 days or so? I hope you are feeling better than you were a week or so ago. I hit my one year mark yesterday, and it feels so wonderful to have passed that milestone. As you move through recovery, you can look back and see it does come in stages. You mark time at first, then time is forgotten. Soon you have a month. Six months. It's a newfound freedom worth pursing.

BeenDown2X, I hope the home front is reaching a place of serenity for you. I understand the work of a relationship. I have been married to the same man for over 40 years. That, too, can be reviewed in stages of my life. Some of the stags are marked be geographic location. Some are marked by successes or failures in my professional life. Some are marked by the arrival and departure of our children. Ah, other stages begin. This is a stage for you, and it is one that you will look back on either with regret or with triumph. I think it will be the latter for you. You can emerge stronger or not. It does take two, though, so I hope you have a willing partner. My thoughts are with you.

Ruby -- I hope your hair is intact. I know what it's like to have hidden secrets tucked into that beehive hairdo. Wait a minute! The horse chewed that one off, so what do you do with your secrets now. Yeah, still weird after all these weeks. Edumacation doesn't change that at all.

Cassandra48, thank you for your comments to me on the other thread. Yes, my one year is remarkable, and reading my first post put me right back where I was that day, if just for a moment. The change in my life for the positive that day has been immeasurable. You can do this, too. Life is still here, waiting for you. Your potential is still there. You'll be hitting a month soon, and that too is a landmark.

Mel, your life sounds exciting. I'm so glad to hear you are doing well. Still clean, so wonderful. You are a great friend and asset here.

Stride, thanks for the encouragement. I get overwhelmed sometimes, and I love to hear those words. Hope you are well.

Ollie909 -- my man! Where are ya? Hope you are still out there kicking it!

Jess, Jess, Jess.... Dear Jess.... How the hell are ya? Moira is keeping you hopping I know. That little girl of yours has grown in leaps and bounds, at least by your descriptions since I've been reading your posts here. As hard as this part of your life is, you are going to look back on everything you've accomplished right here and now, despite all the misery, and you will have a smile on your face. I wish so much love and happiness for you this season. Please update us when you can.

DizzyD -- Yes, Iove that name, too. I'll bet you didn't know that in Spain you would be called "Delfines mareado" I hope you are doing well also.

Spica -- Little Gatita you are. I am picturing you on a Harley, cruising down one of them there Florida highways, with Delfines mareado riding on the back!

AEIOU -- ah, aieeee, eeeeeh, oh, ooooooh! Ha! Hope you are doing well this week. Hey, I've got a 3 day weekend, a real gift since school let out. Is this a busy season for you?

DylanS -- Hello and welcome! I am so glad to see you here. Welcome to the looney bin! Well, I guess I should speak for myself. Hey, tapering did NOT work for me, which maybe you know by my name. Good on ya for the quitting drinking. I quit drinking many years ago, only to find myself trapped by oxys for a couple of years. Take advantage of this time to work on yourself, your health, your well being. The best thing to do is to get rid of ALL ACCESS to the oxys. You can't take what you don't have. If you do take them, the road back to alcohol is all too easy. You should read through some of these threads to see how people cope with withdrawal. Detox feels bad, so expect that. But a few days later you begin to feel better, then even better, and then GOOD. Life is out there waiting for you. Seize it. Come here. Ask questions. We care about how you are doing.

Ivan! You doing better now? How did your MD visit go?

Chained, welcome here. I agree totally about finding a doctor that really understands addiction. I had quite a few that did not. Most did not. I hope you are doing well.

Others I may have not mentioned, please post. I hope my weird posts here and there do not drive you away.

Rinky, my girl. Thank you for keeping the thread alive! Sometimes it just goes quiet. People leave. People come. Yet we persist. Love your daily quotes. Love your input. I'll try to PM you this weekend. Right now, gotta get back to work. Yeah, that too.

Much love to everyone.

FT
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Old 12-16-2011, 05:24 PM
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Hi,
I am new and read ur posts and have helped me, thank u.
cograts on school, u can do it just by the way u talk.
i like how u put it in sections, I can relate to that,thanks!!
I hope one day I will feel like this, I do know I have to work 2 it if I want it..
Thanks to everyone, I read everyones comments and it helps
God Bless U all, and Merry Christmas
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Old 12-16-2011, 05:29 PM
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Hi lorilou1,

Despite how it may sometimes appear, this is a serious thread, too.

Welcome here.

If you need help, ask questions. If you have something to share, to unburden, to just have fun with, share that, too.

Wherever you are in your journey, we want to walk it with you.

FT
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Old 12-17-2011, 07:24 AM
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Well Thank Goodness, things are getting back to normal.... Thanks FT, like it or not your our Den Mother so to speak... what would we all do without you? I was just worried bc it has never happened that no one posts for that long... You all know I kinda vulnerable right now,,, I can't take wierd,lol.

I love everyone on here and believe it or not ya'll are kinda like my family. I know, pathetic right?, I really don't have much of a real family that cares about me,,,, I really miss ya'll if I don't hear from you. I hope we all have a good weekend without much stress. I swear sometimes worrying about money and this and that takes it out of me... one of the group leaders used to say , you cannot trust and worry at the same time. I guess thats true,,, that is related to trusting a higher power... Hopefully we will all get it together..

Here is the quote for the day........

Go as far as your headlights will allow you to see, and when you get there you will always be able to see farther... author UK. I'll check back in later... love ya'll.
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:06 AM
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Well, the KITTY and the dog are SAFE FOR NOW! But only barely....

I did let the kitty out of the pool, and he is sleeping down by my feet, next to the shotgun.

So, post everyone, and don't make me come in there.... You're being too quiet, and I KNOW you are UP TO NO GOOD when you are being too quiet....

FT
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:16 AM
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Nope I've been a good girl. Day 21 for me, but still no energy. Still have bathroom issues, but no night sweats last night! That's a good thing! Looking forward to getting my energy back. I've been laying around so much, that now when I move around I get light headed and dizzy. Have to get up and start moving!
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Old 12-17-2011, 09:26 AM
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Hey Cassandra48,

Day 21 yaaayayayayayayayayaayyyyyyy!

Three weeks down. Cool deal. Lethargy was a huge deal in my first few weeks. I had to attend a conference at exactly three weeks out, and I had to stand all day and PERFORM TASKS that involved mental arithmetic. Lordy, lordy, lordy. I made it through, but I don't know how.

I also felt lightheaded and dizzy. I had to divide physical tasks up into small bursts of activity, because I couldn't tolerate more than that. Just keep your fluids way up, and eat small meals with protein and carbs in each one. Don't worry if you continue to be lethargic a few more weeks. I don't really know why that occurs physiologically, and I did try to research it. It just seems like a weird side effect of detox to me. Maybe it has something to do with the deconditioning that happens to a lot of us when we use.

Good job girl!

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Old 12-17-2011, 02:50 PM
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Evening everyone!

Cassandra: great going on 21 days!! I know I was stuck on stupid for at least a month, couldn't multi task at all, it was frustrating! Burnt dinner quite a few times lol

Rinky: hope all is well (how did FT know we were gossiping?) LMAO.

Well I went shopping today, so many people out it was nuts but I'm all done. Oh, I hadn't dyed my hair since I stopped oxy's so that's about 3 months. I had 3 inches of gray! I always dye it black but now having so much gray, the gray looks BLUE! I look like smurfette lol and I have a Christmas party with my OH's co workers on thursday of all things. Well I bought myself a new dress maybe no one will notice! LMAO

Hope everyone has a great weekend, I'm going to wash my hair again and again:rotfxko
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