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|04-20-2010, 08:10 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
Oxycodone Withdrawal...on day 5. Still not well. Any advice/help??
Hi everyone! This is my first post on here. I just registered a few minutes ago. I really wanted to get on here during the past few days because i knew about this site already, but I haven't felt nearly up to it until just now. So here's my story:
It all started in early 2007, when I had a kidney stone. I was prescribed Percocet 5mg and I took only half by the time the pain was gone. For 6 months, the pills sat in my cabinet until I had another stone. I took what I had left and when the pain didn't go away, I went to the hospital. They gave me more meds and I went through the same routine again. This continued several times...until April of 2009 when my hydrocodone and oxycodone daily regiment began.
I was diagnosed with a painful kidney condition that the doctors are in no hurry to fix. The conditional is totally curable upon surgery, but because of the surgery risk and my young age, the 3 last Urologists I've been to aren't willing to fix me. Finding this out took until December of 2009.
Meanwhile, I started on Lortab 7.5mg/500mg, 4 per day, from 4/09 until 9/09. My family doctor prescribed the Lortab to me for those months, until she cut me off by recommending a pain specialist. I decided to give up in September, which I did. Within 3 days, I was feeling completely better and asymptomatic. On day 9, I had lots of back pain. Of course it turned out to be another kidney stone; only this time, it was stuck and remained stuck until they could get me into surgery a MONTH later. So for that month, I was taking oxycodone prescribed by the ER (5mg/325mg). When they fixed the problem, I was still having daily pain and decided to keep taking the pills until I would have my surgery.
So in the beginning of November, I went to pain management and they started me on Oxydose (20mg/day). A month later, that turned into Percocet 5/325. Then the next visit, a month later, I was given Percocet 10mg/325 and Roxicodone 30mg (4/day). From January until last week, I became accustomed to taking 150-160mg of oxycodone per day.
Ive tried quitting twice already (second time in December). My medical condition tells me that the pills are necessary, as does the doctors. That is what tortures my mind the most. The idea that I can just waltz into any hospital and get pills immediately because a CT scan given will show the obvious sign of pain, no matter when they take the picture.
So why did I decide to quit? Honestly, I want to stop for myself and for my daughter. These pills have taken total control of my life. I was missing work, I would stay up until 2am-3am and have to get up for work at 6:30 because I found myself not wanting to "waste the high" by going to sleep. At first, the high associated with the pills were a 'perk' of the medication to me. It felt like a fun way to deal with the pain I've been in. But as time went on, I became more irresponsible, my bills started to slip, medical bills piled, work stress built up, I was having trouble with spending time with my daughter, and so many other things.
The last straw was when I lost my job a couple of weeks ago from being absent too many times. I was already broke, I had a pain appt coming up, and I had just enough money to seek real help. So I went to my pain appointment and filled the Percocet 10mg script only. I then went out of town the next day to seek the company of my family to help me through this dependency.
The first few days with trying to taper myself off was impossible. I was taking 15 pills per day with only 120 in the bottle originally. I was quickly losing the pill count and I was struggling so hard to drop one less per day. I suddenly dropped from 15 to 10 in one day. Then 8 the next day. Then 6 the following day and so on until I had 5 left and took them on the last day. So I basically went cold turkey from 50mg of oxycodone per day. I take nothing else (no xanax, valium, suboxone, etc). Each day I dropped my pill intake, I suffered. Since I went from 15 to 10, I have been getting an average of 3 hours of sleep. I went from 15 to 10 on 4/13 and it's 4/20 today, so a week.
I took my last dose on 4/16 at 2:30pm. So as of now I've been totally clean for exactly 4 days as of 2:30pm today (96 hours). It's felt like 4 months in reality. The 4th hour into being clean was when it got bad and it hit real hard by the middle of that first night. The weekend was literally hell. I could never imagine hell being any worse than what I went through last weekend. Tossing and turning, weakness, terrible insomnia, chills, goosebumps, night sweats, no appetite, diarrhea, and all the other typical symptoms. Sometimes the symptoms occured a few at a time...during the good part of the day. When the wave came back up, all the symptoms came at once and very intensely. It feels like my nerves have the flu. My side effects remain, but the waves seem to be pulling further apart with time. It's starting to feel like the physical part is starting to come down a bit.
SO HERE'S MY QUESTIONS if anyone can help. Based on my history of taking pills for a year and stopping cold turkey at 50mg per day and I'm about to start day 5, what lies ahead for the next few days? Will things quickly get better or does this take weeks to physically recover from? I've been using the IcyHot patch for my back pain (spine hurts with the w/d) and IcyHot cream for the pain in my legs (also w/d). It's been helping me with the withdrawals. I also took up marijuana on day 1. I've smoked it before, used to all the time, but havent for years. I started smoking weed again because I thought that trying a different and less-harmful substance might help mask some of my withdrawal symptoms. I truly believe it has significantly helped. In fact, I would honestly recommend that method. I've also tried taking walks, driving (believe it or not, I drove from Indpls. to Cincinnati and back yesterday just to help clear my mind. It seemed to help Probably shouldn't drive while withdrawing though lol), listening to music, sitting in my hot car during the daytime because I'm always freezing, and watching hours of television.
I'm proud to say that I've gone 4 days clean. I'm just scared to death as to how much longer this might last, because I really need to get back to work, but I'm in no shape to right now. Anyway I sincerely appreciate you reading my story and I apologize for any typos. I'm a writer on the side and am usually a perfectionist with my grammar, but my nerves are quite shot right now. I'm amazed I typed this much! Anyway wish me the best of luck and please give me any advice you might think that will help me fully recover. and p.s. no doctor knows that I'm trying to stop. I want to do this without getting hooked on methadone or suboxone). Thanks again everyone!!
|The Following User Says Thank You to flagulfcoast For This Useful Post:|| |
|04-20-2010, 10:07 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2010
Welcome, it's great to see you posting...I know it seems impossible right now. I am in my 5th month clean from an awful 7 year codeine addiction and I can tell you right now that it DOES get better. In my opinion, once you get through that first week no physical symptom will be as bad it is right now, another few weeks before you start feeling normal.
Saying that, I would highly recommend that you speak to your Doctor and tell him what you are doing. If you have a legitimate medical problem that you are being treated for it is best to be completely up front and honest with your medical team , they might have a way to help you and not hurt your condition.
I would also say that you should check out some NA meetings in your area, I could not have stayed clean without it honestly. Like I said, you may not suffer any worsening physical w/ds but NA helps you with the mental adjustment of a life without drugs. Try one meeting, be honest, and see how it works for you.
Last, I will say that I truly believe using one drug to quit another drug is NEVER a good idea. We addicts will latch onto the next "crutch" as a way to deal with things in our lives, please don't trade one addiction for another. That's why recovery is SO damn hard...it's a long road but completely worth it.
Please come clean to your doctor, your situation isn't so uncommon : ) Please keep posting and letting us know how you're doing.
"I can only walk on water when it's raining"
|The Following User Says Thank You to Thera For This Useful Post:|| |
|04-20-2010, 03:25 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
Thanks for the reply!
Thank you Thera for replying to my posting! Your reply really helped with the uestions I've been asking myself. I was hoping this withdrawal wouldn't last long. Especially since I went from 50mg to zero within one day.
As far as the pot, I absolutely know I have the self-control and self-assurance to not keep smoking pot after the next week or so. Since it has helped me through the first few days, I will keep at it for a little bit longer until I feel good enough to not need it. I slept 7 hours today! That's 3 more hours than I've had in over a week! I do feel pretty good at the moment and I know tomorrow will definately be a better day. As far as the doctors...I put myself in a situation where I couldn't get back on the pills if I wanted...or at least I tell myself anyway. I temporarily moved back to Indianapolis from St. Petersburg, FL to recover from this and get cleaned up. I kept trying to quit on my own with no success, so it was my last-resort option outside of rehab. So that's why I chose not to tell the doctors. In fact, I moved 2 days after deciding to move, so it was very abrupt and fast. It was the only thing I could do to stop with the meds. I have a Urethropelvic Junction Obstruction in my kidney that causes daily swelling of my kidney and stones to form in clusters at a time. So the pain is definately legitimate and correctable. Those damn doctors down there love to take their sweet time in fixing me. Instead, they like to shove pills down my throat and I'm sick of it. I need to move on with my life and have the dream I had before I started these. Wish me luck throughout these next few days/weeks and thanks again so much for replying!!! I will post as I progress by the way.
|04-20-2010, 08:37 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Now with fewer opiates!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Southern New Jersey, USA
Blog Entries: 2
If you've got a medical condition requiring pain management, quitting pain meds with no immediate follow-up with a qualified doc can be a prescription, if you will, for relapse.
Why are you opting to not tell your doctor about the situation?
One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time- André Gide
|The Following User Says Thank You to Stagebear For This Useful Post:|| |
|04-21-2010, 07:56 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: St. Petersburg, FL
Thanks once again for the feedback! I am working towards day 6 and day 5 is almost done! I am still FREEZING around the clock and I think that's one of the worst symptoms I'm having at the moment. Not to mention the feeling of my nerves being electrocuted off and on. Insomnia is still occuring with me. The night before last, I slept from 12am-4am and again from 12:30pm-3:30pm, so I finally had a decent amount of rest. I got 3 hours last night and woke up covered in sweat, despite the room I was sleeping in was around 65 degrees. I was so cold, but sweating so bad. However, I do feel better today than yesterday, so that's good.
In replying to Stagebear: I have mentioned my wanting to quit pain meds to my urologist a few months ago and he said that I should wait until the surgery is complete because I'll have to take pain meds afterwards anyway. That is what really tortures my mind. He had a clever way of convincing me that I don't have a problem and that in time I can stop the meds. I know that when I talk to my doctors about this, they will not support my decision. If I go into the doctors office at this point in my recovery, if they even merely mention pain meds and that they can refill my script, I will easily give in and relapse. That's why I decided to get a thousand miles away from those doctors. When I feel good enough to consider myself recovered from these pills, then I will go back to the doctors and move forward. When that day comes that I get surgery and they put me on pain meds, I will not have the ability to continue them for a prolonged time because my condition will be fixed at that point. I just hope that if it's even 6 months from now and I'm required to take just 2 weeks worth of pain pills that I won't have to go through the same hell as I have been going through these past several days. Do you know if I will?
See, I have a PCP, 2 different Urologists and a pain management doctor. All together, they were costing me almost 300 dollars per month, including scripts. I couldn't afford it and it totally broke me. I'm going through a divorce, we split up at the end of July and I was forced to get my own place making 10.50 per hour. Having a little girl, I refused to take on another job because I'd rather be flat broke and have time with her each day, instead of taking that time away from her to work another job. With that being said, my finances quickly plummeted. In St. Pete, FL it's very hard to live on your own making 10.50. I was stuck at my job because it was secure and having the medical condition I have, I couldnt find a new job when I was missing work at least once a month for an ER visit for kidney stones. So month by month, the 300/mo in medical bills took it's toll and I had to leave FL to be in the company of relatives so that I can get back on my feet. Taking these pain meds have made me irresponsible and careless with my finances. I was on these pills all day, every day. I woke up with 30mg and went to bed with 30mg (with more during the day of course). I was high all the time and I didn't care about anything except going to work and spending time with my daughter. I lost my conscience and now I'm wanting it back. I would rather be in pain and have a clear conscience, than to be high all the time and not give a **** about anything.
Whether not talking to my doctors about this was a good idea or not, I did make the personal decision. I'm a thousand miles away from my doctors and currently without a job because I'm trying to withdrawal. I'm closing day 5 today and there's no point in my mind in going back again. The hell I went through since Friday is enough to make me realize that it's simply not worth going through again. So either way, the good or bad decisions I made in regards to quitting the pills are in the past and I've already made up my mind to move on. I'm not fixed yet, but I can't afford pain management. I also can't afford to be without a clear conscience day in and day out. I threw up my arms a few weeks ago and decided to quit the pills. It was the only option at that point for me, since I lost my job that day anyway. So I had no money coming in and I had more appointments coming up that I had no money for. I had 2 choices: 1 was to go to my last pain appointment and drive up north to detox or...2 was to use what little money I had for the next few appointments and wind up broke, jobless, possibly homeless and without any way to get up north.
Anyway, I am doing okay today so far. Not much sleep, but that's okay. I havent smoked pot yet today. I'm going to see how long I can go without. Hopefully I wont need it today. If I dont need it today, then that definately means I wont need it tomorrow and so on. Thanks again for your support! It is truly helping me so much!
|01-22-2011, 12:03 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2011
This is actually really crazy because I am only about 3-4 days ahead of you in my progress to quitting oxycodone. I am still prescribed 270 30mg oxycodone a month for lower back problems, but I will not go back to using. This is my second time quitting and as you can see, it's not a fun process. When you read doctors, writers, etc. talk about how long the W/D's last, they usually try to say it takes one week, BS. Being that this is my second experience in doing this, I can confidently say it is a minimum 2 week process until you feel entirely back to normal, honestly no longer no further. Maybe 2-3 more days of revitalizing your body and getting a normal appetite, but that also comes with the territory. This is a SERIOUS (I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH) ADDICTION. I only got back on the drug after the first time because I am a mechanic, constantly using my back, and all of my co workers use illegally. You MUST learn to deal with this.. They will be around tempting you, and if you cant stay away you just end up like me going through it twice. Anyways, my intention isn't to lecture you, just giving you my experience. We are in similar areas and pills are everywhere down here it's disgusting. As for your question, you will experience this sleeplessness, CRAPPY cold hot and crazy sweating with some insomnia and body aches for the next week. It will go on and off in severity the longer you get. Then when it's all said and done just be the person you used to be, that is my biggest reward. I agree that doing small activities like driving a car, walking, listening to music, sitting in hot car (LOL), it really ALL DOES help, especially killing time. My girlfriend uses and is hooked, I have to deal with getting her clean next. It is very hard quitting when your girlfriend is right there stuffing herself, also a good reality check though. I will come back and see how your doing, stay strong!
|01-23-2011, 03:28 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Beat Opiates on my OWN!
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Rochester, New York
It get a lot better....and soon. My insomnia stuck around for a bit but you should feel better very soon. I've been off everything (including suboxone) for a month and I feel 100%. I am as happy as ever, love doing things again and just feel amazing.
11/30/2010... The day I decided to NEVER touch another opiate in my life.
"Failure is not defeat. Defeat is accepting failure as the final outcome."
"The human mind is more powerful than you think. Put your heart in there as well....and there is no stopping you"
|hydrocodone, hydrocodone withdrawal, oxycodone, oxycodone withdrawal, recovery|
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