SilentKiller

THe last few nights I have been having dreams about drugs. I was hoping you guys could give me some insight. I have been exactly 2 months sober after a relapse and when I am awake I do not think about drugs. When I go to sleep, thats when the monsters come out. The other night I had a dream that I was with my old drug friends. We had some crack and when we went to recook it the crack turned into butter. Then I put some into my pipe and inhaled. I then woke to find myself holding my breath and then let out a huge exhale. This happened again last night but the drug was weed.

For those of you who dont know my DOC was coke/crack and I had 2yr sober before my relapse. I never really had a weed problem and have not used weed in 3-4 years.

Just wondering if anyone might have some insight into my dreams.

Sugah

I had them very regularly -- almost nightly -- for the first three months. I still have the occasional dream, though I've come to see them as a reminder of how it was and a source of gratitude when I wake up and realize it was just a dream.

Your unconscious mind remembers everything, and it takes time before you replace its scripts with new ones.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

NEOMARXIST

Hey man. I've had drink/drug dreams the last 5 nights in a row. They come and go. Just my addicted mind trying to think of ways to still use I guess! I never am happy in the dreams though and do not want to be drinking and I wake up feeling anxious.

I just accept them as being what they are ie- dreams.

omegasupreme

When I first arrived to recovery I too had quite vivid dreams. Mine were not of drugs though, but of my own funeral, down to the "t". Lowering me into the ground and placing my headstone there. I was even able to read the tombstone, everything was filled in perfectly except my death date, it was not printed on the stone. Therapist thought it might be my subconscious mind finally letting go of it all and the lack of a death date may have symbolized that I was not dead per se, just that my old life was dead. I know this is different from your situation, just letting you know that the vivid dreams come in all forms and from my understanding are fairly common to us early on. Hope this helps a little.

Stagebear

Drugging/drinking dreams are, indeed, quite common. They can be disturbing, especially if we interpret them as impending relapse or some hidden desire to do so.
Remember, dreams are just our subconscious firing a lot of info around. They're not harbingers of the future or some implied way of releasing our inner desires.
Many people, addicts and non-addicts alike, have disturbing dreams...of death, odd sex dreams, etc. They aren't harmful.
On awakening from one of these dreams, it can be helpful not to dwell on them. Get into your daily routine ASAP and let them drift away. Talk them out if you feel you need to, but it may be best to let them go.

Zak

Useing dreams are common when you stop, I sill get them after 23 months but now there's program in the dream like I know i'm guilty and the shame overwelmes me into waking up almost in tears,I juess you can call them nighmares now!

windysan

They go away.

Dee74

They are common

They can seem very real - but I don;t think they're anything to worry about.

I chose to not attach any deeper meaning to them...it's just random firing of synapses IMO.

I haven't had one for a long time now.
D

SilentKiller

Thanks for the replies guys! I was just worried because I have had drug dreams in the past but never this vivid. I have never woke up to myself holding my breath like that. Guess its kind of like when you fall in your dreams and jump awake. Its just that craving I get right after I wake up. I will take your advice Stagebear and jump right into my morning routine becasue these dreams seem to happen around the time I need to wake up. Damn, nothing is simple in recovery!

tyler

When I first stopped using, I had them pretty often, and very vividly. My DOC was weed. When I first quit, I hadn't dreamed in years. Though this is a bit "sick", at first I actually enjoyed them. Kinda a free buzz.

I still have them occasionally now (clean about 8 months) but now they freak me out. I've woken out of a solid sleep thinking that I just pissed away the last 8 months. I know that, for me at least, once I take that first hit, I'm done, once again. Been down that road too many times, not going down it again!!

I wouldn't stress about them too much, just about everyone has them. Just don't let them be a reason to think you might be able to use again. On that note...time for bed!! Take care.

Zencat

I have them and like to think that I'm processing/releasing psychic tension behind the doper dreams. Anywho love to dream and I do often...but I don't put much significance on them.

CrackQuack

I had many, VIVID, dreams about smoking crack, when I was first trying to get clean. My DOC is also crack cocaine. Whenever I started to work on getting clean, it's like my mind was my worst enemy. The moment I relapsed and went on a binge, I stopped having them. When I finally was DONE, I had them, again and again. I'd wake up crying, thinking FOR SURE, I'd smoked crack again. I even remember one, where I was with a bunch of strangers, smoking 8 ball after 8 ball and getting sick, but still kept using. When I saw my PJ's on, I was SO relieved! Unbelieveably happy that it was a dream. I can remember one other dream, vaguely, around my 9 months. I am almost a year. I am sure one or two will pop up, here and there, throughout my life, but I will be just ducky when I wake up and realize it was just a dream. As long as it stays there, I am one happy camper..
I do worry, so much, about a relapse. Especially lately. I won't think about it all day, but at night, when I am calming down from work, thoughts of using creep up in my head. Not the "I gotta get some" thoughts. The ones where all the remorse creeps up, the "I can't believe I did that", and "Really? I did that!?!?!", and please Lord, allow me to not ever use again..
Ugh, it's haunting me pretty badly right now.. Especially since my boyfriend told me that he was on one of his motorcycle forums, talking about living with an addict and 95% of them told him to run. It made me cry. I've given the same advice, and I am grateful he's with me and loves me, but the number one reason he won't ask me to marry him is because I am an addict. He wants more time under my belt to prove I am done. I understand this, but at the same time, I FEAR relapse... Because it would only validate his concerns.
Sorry, had to get it off my chest.
Anyway, it's certainly no fun, but, the more I chat with other addicts, it seems pretty typical. Though I haven't had dreams about smoking weed or doing any other drugs. Just smoking crack.

meditation

I am 16 months clean and I had a drinking dream the other night. I dreamed I had a beer, One I am not a drinker much and two I don't care for beer but I do have to do random drug screens and of course alcohol is not allowed. I don't have day cravings or problems but in this dream I woke up thinking I had screwed up and all my hard work was gone down the drain. I think in my case it's being hypervigilant all the time about over the counter drugs that I am barred from that make me worry subconsciously that I will mess up and accidently take something that will mess up my recovery or my screens. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to be dreaming this way but it is scary.

Vintersemestre

What did I get out of trying to make heads or tails of my dreams during that time? Two books and the wisdom to know that if I ever dream about crack turning into butter it means that I know what's going on my toast when I wake up.

Where are the books now? They're wedged between "The Book of Mormon" and "The Holy Bible". Want them?

That's how I see it anyway.

Timebuster

I haven’t had using dream in years. But I do have dreams to those I harm in the past.

The one dream that I have on a constant basis in recovery, is the one with the first love of my life.

She is the only women in my life for personal reason I haven’t/cant make face to face amends with.

This to shall pass.

Ivan

eyewideopen222

I just had a drug dream tonight and that is why I am awake, I couldn't sleep much knowing it was Friday, and I was feeling paranoid all day today for no reason. I had a dream tonight about being on ecstasy pills and it felt really real, it scare the **** out of me because I felt most of the time like my head was spinning and it felt kinda like the feeling when you are about to throw up.

Dee74

They are very real - but they're just dreams eyewideopen222

D

windysan

I'm taking Chantix(no cigs for 3 days now) and I'm having incredibly lucid weirdo flashback trippy freakout timleary technicolor alteredstatesdeprivation tank kinda dreams. I wake up every morning like...........whoa ! I better put on some Allman Brothers or something and chillout.

Tryin2Recover

Normal. I have heard them referred to as "Free-lapse", since you experience a relapse without any real world consequences. I have had using dreams so vivid and real, that I woke up dope sick the rest of the day. No Joke. I dont have using dreams very often anymore, but when I do it is usually during periods of high stress.

Lenina

windy,

Congrats on the not smoking. Let me know how the chantix works for you. I want to try it but worry about the side effects.

I have very vivid and wild dreams anyway. The drinking dreams are scary but rare these days. They always unsettle me a bit so I have to remind myself they're only dreams.

Love,

Lenina