JustSayNoo

Question for anyone who's been on and off of the Methadone program.

If someone was to relapse after a certain period of time after leaving the MMT program on a SAO is all hope lost forever? And how do you actually get over the slip per say on your own?
Does the craving for the original, or first relapse on the SAO ever go away with time? I should also note that since the relapse the person has been experiencing sever time dilation and depression. The way their music once was has faded from a once colorful standpoint straight to black.

The relapse occurred after an extremely negative hospital stay that originated after a car crash.

Does anyone out there have any experience with relapses after the Methadone world? And if so do you have any suggestions or experience in the area that can help. Anything at all really. This friend feels extremely alone in the least of words.

As unintentional as the slip was, it originated from a single slip on T1's which automatically made the person go to a stronger short-acting Opiate. An avalanche effect later occurred, which they had no clue was even possible (nor did they really no what the term fully meant) as their previous active-addiction days never had lead to the same length of automatic consequence (from a relapse).

How does one get over a relapse like so?
My friend felt a lot of guilt and negative feelings after the relapse, and most of all self-hatred.

Now they are having severe problems with motivation and are scared that they have opened up Pandora's box per say (which was originally closed, I guess after first coming off of the MMT program.)

How does one recover from such a thing? Craving wise and all? Is it even possible for those doors to be closed again?

I should note that they have also been having SEVERE problems with motivation for quite some time and haven't exactly had a life one would enjoy to go back to as they say, since coming off of the MMT program (for example, no drivers license, debts still in tact, etc.) . The relapse has made matters that much worse unfortunately and caused this person a lot of internal pain.

Does anyone out there have any helpful suggestions, tips or experience(s) with this kind of thing?

I guess a big obstacle they are going through is the "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you" quote of the day. They seem to be hardest on themselves over the relapses and the fact that their addict has come right back to haunt them

They could honestly use all the help in the world right now.

They have been extremely isolated since coming off of the MMT program and have not had success in meetings or really given them a real go?

How do recovering Opiate addicts overcome such an obstacle per say? And can the brain actually recover itself once again?

Any help at all would be extremely appreciated.

JustSayNoo

So I was put on 2mgs of Methadone a day. It doesn't really do much of anything at this point, but I guess my heart knew I needed to be somewhat stabilized after the relapse (even though my addict said otherwise). I'm hoping things level out in time and I'm able to start working on my life again eventually. I may actually have to start looking into endorphin deficiency...
I wish I saw it coming, but I guess some things we have no control over.

show2014

Ive had a few lapse's on stims,, after getting off of suboxone,, and I to had the thought of getting back on them due to cravings,, but Ive had enough,, cravings go away over time, as well as your mind gets better,, a lapse shouldn't discourage your whole recovery I know it feels that way,, I have that problem,, but even typing in this forum makes me feel better thats why meetings are so good so you can talk out whats on your mind and bring your focus back to recovery,, relapse is part of recovery so it's not a suprise, but the important thing to remember is to learn from it, and find your own way to deal with it. I used to stress over all of lifes little things bills etc. and I still do, but when you deal with something big like addiction, have a seizure, go through the pain of WD,, etc. you start to bring things into focus like not to make things such a big deal in your mind that it takes you back to using,, I'm still learning, and stumbling along the way, but life sober can be the best thing in the world for an addict,, it takes time and can be discouraging,, try to focus on the day at hand not the rest of your life,, and learn from your lapse's. What do I need to do to avoid the craving or lapse,, or is there something else I can do to keep myself occupied, I know it sounds easier that it is,, Ive thought the same thing with endorphin deficiency, but that only takes time to heal lots of it,, months years, even, but after a few months,, things get much better,, I too relapsed on methadone after 2 months, because I didn't feel right. I still don't but sometimes I do,, thats the motivation that keeps me going because I'm headed to the point where I feel good more and more and more,, instead of taking more and more opiates overtime,, I have an old friend in his 50's who has taken oxy for 25+ years 4 80's a day and 15 30's and he hardly feels any effect,, I don't want to end up there.

Raider

You don't mean relapse is part of recovery!! It's part of addiction.

show2014

well,, I agree,, but a lot of people lapse while in recovery,, I guess Sometimes relapse is part of recovery,, that doesn't mean someone should rationalize it oh I'm in recovery its ok!! its not but if you learn from it. it's something I heard at a meeting, and rehab as long as it is learned from and avoided. I guess it's maybe more of an opinion of some people

Raider

Picking up your DOC is not a recovery action. Not everyone in recovery goes back to their DOC, they actually make it without using again.

Raider

And congrats on your sobriety!

show2014

Agreed not a recovery action, but sometimes part of recovery, like someone has made the choice to stop is taking action to recover hence recovery, but stumbled after a period of time,, took action called sponsor etc., and moves on learns from it assess what led to it and avoids the same action in the future,, like did that person get bored or one of the 100's relapse prevention signs,, since the person can learn what led to it they can actively avoid it so it is learning which part of recovery,, thats more what I was trying to say,,

JustSayNoo

Thanks for the replies. I definitely agree that learning from it is the best move a person can do. It's definitely not easy at first (especially if you've been clean for a while beforehand), but I also don't want to be someone who loses their house for example to a pill addiction.
From codeine it went straight to poppy's without any thought in the matter and already I could tell that it was going towards the pills (which I used to be hooked on bad, approximately 5 years ago). Not only is it that I don't want to lose everything I care about to an unsatisfiable narcotic addiction (which it does get to for most if not all of us), but I also knew that I'd end up most likely dead, as my first bottom was COMPLETE hell as it is (I guess I can say now though that even though I didn't like the memory of that bottom coming back up after the relapse, it's what stopped me from going any further than I did at the time). Some part of me knew that if my first bottom got as bad as it did without my control than this one would most likely end up with me on the streets or dead.
It started out with an unfortunate hospital visit which I landed from the use of other drugs (the way I see it now though, I know I am not one of those people who can just drink or smoke pot because of it). However an old Doctor had the symptoms confused while I was stuck in the hospital and decided I needed Methadone again after being off of Methadone for over a year and the other Opiates/Opiods for several years. I was so low on tolerance that they actually OD'd me within the first week on the Methadone itself to the point of complete craziness.
Once I got out of the hospital things just weren't the same and after a few months I ended up relapsing on codeine or T1's, which like I said above lead to a poppy mixture in over a day! And from there my addict was already searching for Marijuana, alcohol and later DXM very fast (I quickly became someone I didn't want to be). It all lead to a very dark place extremely fast and I found myself bed ridden for days and unable to handle any external or internal stimuli for that matter.
I was scared ******** to go back on Methadone because of the fight I've had to come off of it, but now that I'm on it again (even if it is 2mgs a day right now, I'm already starting to see the twists and lies that we're put in me from the poppy's to begin with). I don't believe 2mgs is a high enough dose at this point, but it's what can be done for now and every day I'm learning more from the mistake.
I noticed that my attitude towards life changed right after I was put on the low dose of Methadone and that's when I realized that as much as I thought I could handle the original relapse and move on with my life, my receptors we're screaming to be fed in all sorts of ways. I was full of self-hatred for it for a long time, but I'm starting to see now that I shouldn't look at it as my life's completely over...
It would have been if I chose to keep using...
I guess I'm just thankful right now that my higher power swooped in before it got completely out of my control.
I can't say that I actually wanted to go back to active addiction. Nor do I think anyone who's been through the complete hell of it all would want to (especially if it can only get worse).
Self-destructing is not an option. Thanks again for the replies. I appreciate the light shed.

JustSayNoo

and the other Opiates/Opioids for approx. 5 years*

JustSayNoo

And off. Cannot stand that ****!

JustSayNoo

I think the problem starts from chasing the originated high and believing that we can control the addiction again ourselves. As they say in meetings, one has to admit that they are powerless over the addiction to whatever drug or demon the user is struggling with. If one's not ready to admit that, than they most likely still believe they own the control button.

JustSayNoo

Sending out an update:
Time really is a miraculous medicine.. if used properly

gnarlyboots

SayNoo,

thanks for the update, time is indeed an important thing in recovery, it's not everything, but it is a BIG thing.

Glad to hear you're doing well.