button11

I'm new to sober recovery but I have been on Methadone since 2001. I did detox once and stayed clean for the time I was in detox then inpatient. I relapsed after a month into my halfway house stay. Methadone saved my children's lives and mine I know this. But I find myself angry. Being on methadone is a liquid ball and chain. Also I don't feel sober, if I miss more than two doses I crave drugs due to the withdrawal. I want to be free of methadone. Why is it so hard? Why do I find myself sick thinking of detox. I was twenty-three when I started the program, I'm now thirty-five. I feel like I have missed out on twelve years (actually more) of my life. I am angry and I don't know why or at who?

mialicious

Methadone is as good as liquid handcuffs. It just tricked me into thinking I'm "normal" and put recovery on a even lengthier hiatus. Opiate/dope withdrawals are creeping back into my life too as I try to quit methadone. I knew I would have to face the music sooner than later, but I thought (for some reason?) I could walk off methadone by lowering my dose greatly... I'm realizing that now, its the same as any opiate detox but takes about 1-3 months longer. I'm chiefly currently down to 2mgs. I saved parts of each of my doses from take homes to store up and detox myself. I stopped going to the clinic 1/16/13. They won't give you take homes if you are detoxing.
What dose are you@?