Chapter Three: More About Alcoholism

[nandm]

"I don't know. I see that I am quite a bit like these people, but if I can just quit drinking for a while I will be okay. Maybe if I only drank beer I wouldn't get into so much trouble. I see what the symptoms of alcoholism are and though I exhibit some of them I am not yet willing to accept that I am an alcoholic. I feel that I am different than the authors and that I do not need to adopt such an approach to solve my drinking problem."

The authors, being just like us, anticipated our reluctance to admit our alcoholsm. The short term laying off from drinking that we hepe will serve as a solution is sown to be wishful thinking. One by one our objections are addressed by the example of the authors' own experience. We are allowed to make our own diagnosisi of our condition.

The authors describe our greatest obstacle and share the fact that the admission to ourselves that we are alcoholic is the first step in our recovery (30:7-8). The progresssive nature of alcoholism is presented (30:10-14, 30:16). Some of our attempts at controlling our drinking are outlined (31:11). Two methods of determining if we are truly alcoholic are proposed (31:10-14, 34:3-4). The authors show that even long periods of abstinece will not restore our ability to control our drinking. If we admit we are unable to drink moderately, then the question is how to quit althogether (34:9). The baffling nature of alcoholism, our inability to quit entirely even when we sincerely desire to do so, is descrived (34:12-15). The mental states that precede the first drink are illustarted and we are shown the undeniable insanity of resuming drinking after having determined not to do so and having a full knowledge of the consequences (35:6-37:9). The seeming hopelessness of our situation, being presented to us in this way, leads us to the inescapable conclusion that left to our own resources we are certain to return to drinking (43:15-16).

We are presented with a clear picture of the alcoholic problem. Our hope of recovering on our own is dashed as we discover the truth of our situation. There is nowhere else we can turn to find relief but to a Power greater than ourselves.

[nandm]

The First Step in Recovery: Clear-cut directions for taking our first step are given here.

The Nature of Alcoholism: The symptoms of alcoholism are detailed and our hope of regaining control of our drinking is smashed.

Efforts to Control Our Drinking: Various methods that we have emloyed in failed attempts to gain control of our drinking are examined.

We May Diagnose Ourselves: Are we alcoholic or are we not? Methods for self-diagnosis are presented. The symptoms are reiterated and the lack of prerequisites for alcoholism is shown.

Insanity of the First Drink: Examples illustrating the baffling nature of alcoholism are given. Our lack of mental defense from the first drink is plainly shown.

Hopelessness: The authors help us to recognize the hopelessness of our situation so that we may move out of hopelessness and on to recovery.

[nandm]

1-2

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.

When the authors use the term "most of us," they mean that it is very likely that we suffer from the same lack of willingness that they did. To help us diagnose our own alcoholism, the define it as being bodily and mentally different from our fellows. Though this is perhaps an unpleasant admission, we have to agree that in the light of our past experiences this is true.

3-5

Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his liquor drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persisstence of this illusion is astonishing.

"Therfore" means we accept what has come before. Our unwillingness to admit our alcoholism leads us to try countless times to control our drinking. We become obsessed with the idea that this time our drinking will not get out of control, that we will enjoy our drinking as we did early in our drinking careers. Usually, if we drink enough to enjoy it, we lose control. The illusion that we have power over alcohol and that we can control it remains with us long after it is evident to everyone around us that we can not.

7-8

We learned that we had to full concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery.

There are several ways we learn that we must admit powerlessness over alcohol. We learn by reading the book up to this point and by example of the authors as well as millions of recovered alcoholics. Sometimes we learn by our own mistakes. Repeated failed attempts to control our drinking brings us to the point where we have to admit to ourselves that we are powerlessover alcohol.

To fully concede is to admit that we are alcoholic. Any reservations we have must be set aside. This is not merely complying with the precepts of this program so as to avoid the negative results of drinking, but a complete and total surrender to the fact that we can not drink any alcohol at all and we never will be able to drink alcohol normally.

Who are we to admit our alcoholism to---our group, the police, our spouse? We are to make our admission to ourselves. No one else matters. We must speak to our hearts when making this admission.

These are the directions on how to take our first step. The authors' promise was that they would show us precisely and specifically what they have done to recover and supply us with clear-cut directions. The directions are that we must admit we are, in fact, alcoholic and that we make this admission to ourselves. From the moment we make this admission, we can begin to recover.

DEFINITION:
30:7----Conceded: to admit as true. The opposite is to deny or refuse.

9

The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

Every word in the book up to this page has been to help smash our delusion. The third sentence of this book explains the authors hope that we can be convinced we are bodily and mentally different from our fellows by reading this book. If we are not convinced by these pages, we may have to continue in our current ways until our own experience allows us to see the truth of what the authors say.

10-14

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovered control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals---usually brief---were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our typer are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

This is a definition of alcoholism which we may be able to identify. We can look at our drinking history and see if at some point we lost the ability to control of our drinking. The sign is that we may be a real alcoholic.

Alcoholism is diagnosable. In AA we determine for ouselves if we are alcoholic. Alcoholism is primary---it is the cause of our problems not the result of them. Alcoholism is progressive---gradually we get worse. Alcoholism is chronic---we usually have this illness for a long time before we try to do anything about it. Alcoholism is fatal---if not arrested it will inevitably lead to our deaths. Alcoholism is treatable---the AA program has over 60 years of success.

Our inability to control our drinking destroys our confidence in ourselves and in all human aid. We despair of ever recovering. Prior to our understanding of the physical and mental aspects of this disease we thought ourselves weaklings. Now we understand that will power is of very little use against alcoholism. Our hope of recovery rests in finding a Power greater than ourselves.

We suffer from an illness, a state of unsound physical and mental health. This illness, just like many other illnesses, can not be conquered by will power. Only a spiritual awakening can bring about the profound changes needed for us to recover.


Source:
A Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
Frank D.

[nandm]

1-9

We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it evidentlay has't done so yet.

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experiementation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore non-alcoholic. If anyone, who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people.

Here are some of the methods we have tried: drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums---we could increase the list ad infinitum.

How many of these methods of controlling our drinking have we tried? How many of our own methods have we tried? How did they work? For how long did they work? People who are not alcoholic do not devise methods to control their drinking. People who are not alcoholic can always control the amount they drink. This is a good test to determine if we are alcoholic.

The authors are not abolitionists or reformers, they are merely people who have faced the same problem we face and have tried the same sort of things we have tried to control their drinking.


10

We do not like to brand any individual as an alcoholic bu tyou can quickly diagnose yourself.

In AA we diagnose ourselves. Are we alcoholic or not? Does our drinking fit the pattern described? Do we need to further authenticate what is written in this book?

31:12-32:2

Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.

This advice is to help us admit our powerlessness over alcohol then we will do what it takes to find a Power greater than ourselves. If we still believe we have some power over alcohol then we may waste our time attempting to adopt some new code of morals or a better philosophy of life in the insane belief that our newest plan will work even when all our other plans have failed.

This in one way to find out if we are alcoholic once and for all, if we are not alcoholic then we should be able to control our drinking or quit althogether. If our experiment at controlled drinking fails it should smash the delusion that we have some power over alcohol.

A full knowledge of our condition is a humbling thing. We are powerless over alcohol. Left to human resources we are unable to control our destructive drinking. With nowhere else to go we can turn to a Power we may not have enen thought was available to us. Until we have a humble understanding of our inability to help ourselves we are resistant to turn to this Power.

Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
Frank D.

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3-33

Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definate signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so. Here is one.

A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking. He was very nervous in the mornign after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor. He was ambitious to succeed in business, but saw that he would get nowhere if he drank at all. Once he started, he had no control whatever. He made up his mind that until he had been successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another drop. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-nine, after a successful and happy business career. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has----that his long terms period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink a sober men. Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle. In two months he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. He tried to regulate his drinking for a while, making several trips to the hospital in the meantime. Then, gathering all his forces he attempted to stop altogether and found he could not. Every means of solving his problem which money could buy was at his disposal.

A full knowledge of our condition is a humbling thing. We are powerless over alcohol. Left to human resources we are unable to control our destructive drinking. With nowhere else to go we can turn to a Power we may not have even given thought was available to us. Until we have a humble understandins of our inability to help ourselves we are resistant to turn to this Power. To help smash the delusiion that we are like other people is the purpose of the illustration. If we are alcoholic, over time we get worse, never better. The ability to control our drinking.

Spree drinking, nervousness and drinking in the morning to calm our nerves are signs of alcoholism. We can compare the progression of our own drinking to this fellow. Are we showing signs of alcohlism?

This man possessed high ambitions and common sense but was still alcoholic. Do we think that our good intentions will protect us from alcoholism? How about will power and firm resolve? This fellow's reliance on resolve kept him sober for 25 years, but then failed him.

Do we have this belief? Will we also fall victim to it? How have past periods of abstinence worked to restore our ability to control our drinking?

Aftern self-discipline repeatedly fails to work, we begin to lose confidence in ourselves and seek help from others. When the help of our families, spouses, friends, and doctors all fail we are left seemingly hopeless. Unless we can't find something greater than human power, we may be doomed as this fellow was.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
Frank D.

[nandm]

8

If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.

To stop drinking permanently requires the abandoment of all reservations.
Some of us have fallen prey to the idea that we will quit drinking until the current crisis we are facing passes, then we can begin again. Perhaps a judge has threatened us with fines or imprisonment. Or maybe our spouse is ready to leave us. We quit drinking for the length of the sentance or until our spouse cools off. We may attend AA meetings. When the crisis has passed, we stop going to meetings and resume our drinking. This is compliance rather than surrender. Compliance will only keep us sober for as long as the threat of unfavorable consequences hangs over our head.

AA is an entirely voluntary program. We can take it or leave it. Should we decide to take it, there are certatin things that the authors found they must do to gain permanent success. They found that their reservations about quitting for good and delusions that time would resolve their control over alcohol had to be abandoned.

9-11

Young people may be encouraged by this man's experience to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own willpower. We doubt if many of them can do it, because none will really want to stop, and hardly one of them, because of the peculiar mental twist already acquired, will find he can win out. Several of our crowd, men of thirty-five or less, had been drinking only a few years, but they found themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years.

May of us feel we are under control and can quit drinking when we want to. This may be true in the earliest stages of alcoholism. Unfortunately, we could not foresee that when the consequences of drinking got bad enough to warrent quitting, the alcohol would have warped our minds producing an overwhelming desire to continue regardless of the consequences. Through our alcoholic haze we may see that the consequences of drinking are becoming more severe but invariably we will attribute the resulting problems to other causes.

12

To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time, nor take the quantities some of us have.

The earlier we are able to spot the symptoms of alcoholism in ourselves the sooner we can move toward recovery. We need not continue drinking ourselves to death in ignorance believing ourselves weak or immoral. We can now see that we are physically and menatlly affected by this illness, admit our poweless and seek a Power sufficient to solve our proglem.

15

Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop.

Nobody like to be called an alcoholic because of the negative images associated with the term. The insult we feel at this label is due to our lack of humility. We have a lack of understanding of who and what we really are. If we are alcoholic, the sooner we are able to diagnose ourselves, by comparing our drinking to that of the authors, the sooner we can admit that we are powerless over alcohol and begin to recover.

16

We, who are familiar with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics among young people everywhere.

Now, thanks to the authors, we are familiar with the symptoms of alcoholism; the inability to control the amount we drink once we begin and the inability to stop drinking entirely despite our most urgent need or most sincere desire.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
a companion to the Big Book
Frank D.

[nandm]

2-8

As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our own willpower. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance for success. In the early days of our drinking we occassionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.

If drinking is causing us trouble, why don't we try this test? If we are successful, we probably are not alcoholic. If we can't do it after sincere effort, we are probably alcoholic. Go ahead, give it your best shot. We hope you will be successful, if you are not, AA will be there, ready to show you what we have done to recover.

Once again the ineffectiveness of using resolve to overcome alcoholism is made clear. How have our resolutions not to drink as much or at all worked in the past? What makes us think that this time our resolve will work any better?

9-15

For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a non-spiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet, we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it---this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.

Are we baffled by our inability to quit drinking entirely? The most dire necessity and most sincere desire are not sufficient to keep us away from that first drink. Even when we can plainly see that the first drink will lead to another spree, we always succumb to our overpowering desire for alcohol. What hope is there for us? Where can we find the power to resist our compulsion to drink?

When reviewing our drinking history we can ask ourselves if we are able to drink moderately? If we are unable to drink moderately, we can ask ourselves if we desire to stop drinking altogether? If we desire to stop, we can ask ourselves if we can do it on our own? How has our desire to stop drinking worked in the past? If a sincere desire or great need to stop drinking is insufficient, we may be unable to quit on a non-spiritual basis.

16

How then shall we help our readers determine, to their own satisfaction, whether they are one of us?

The many definitions of alcoholism, descriptions of symptoms, and the personal accounts illustrating the progression of this illness, are included in the first chapters of this book to help us determine if we are alcoholic or not.

This chapter focuses on the mental component of alcoholism. We have seen the physical symptoms clearly illustrated. Now, the authors address the mental symptoms in the hope that we may see whether we possess an alcoholic mind.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

1

So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem.

We would not have to worry about our inability to control the amount we drink if we never took that first drink. The real problem is our inability to avoid taking that first drink. If we have decided to quit drinking, it is likely that we have tried many of the same methods as the authors. Our decisions to quite never seemed to work. We tried self-will, self knowledge, firm resolve, renewing our resolve, moving to another area, doctors, psychiatrists, counselors, but nothing we tried worked for very long. Always, we returned to drinking.

2

What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink?

We call this alcoholic thinking. Once this type of thinking takes hold of an alcoholic's mind very little can be done to help the alcoholic to recover. It appears to be a type of insanity in that repeated demonstrations of the inability to control consumption of alcohol fails to prevent further futile attempts. We repeat our same mistakes and insanely expect different results.

The desperate experiment of the first drink results in our failure to control our drinking once again. So what do we do? We try the same experiment again and expect different results.

6-12

Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. This man has a charming wife and family. He inherited a lucrative automobilie agency. He had a commendable world war record. He is a good salesman. Everybody likes him. He is an intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for a nervous disposition.

Again the authors show that family, money, courage, achievement, talent, personality, and intelligence are no insurance against alcoholism. Over and over we are shown that alcoholism affects all types of people. No one is immune.

16

We told him what we knew of alcholism and the answer we had found.

Here the authors present the solution to Jim in the same way that they present it to us. They show us what they have done.

17-20

He made a beginning. His family was reassembled, and he began to work as a salesman for the business he had lost through drinking. All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession.

Jim made a beginning---he stopped drinking. This is only the beginning of the solution that the authors have found. A person who is powerless over alcohol must find a Power greater than themselves to maintain permanent sobriety. Left to our own resources we will drink again.

35:22-36:1

He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in serious condition. He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on. Moreover, he could lose his family for whom he had deep affection. Yet he got drunk again.

Knowledge of our alcoholism and of the disagreeable consequences resulting from our drinking is insufficient to prevent us from drinking again. Reading of the experiences of others and reviewing our own drinking histories shows us that this is true.

Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

4

I remember I felt irritated that I had to be a salesman for a concern I had once owned.

The authors suggest that resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. This re-feeling of past pains, the accompanying replaying of past events, and planning of future revenge block us from the Power we need to maintain our sobriety. In the Fourth Step, we learn a successful method of dealing with resentment that frees us from our anger.

8

I had no intention of drinking.

When our best intentions and the certain consequences of taking even one drink do not stop us from taking that first drink, we must admit our powerlessness over alcohol. To remain sober we must find a Power greater than ourselves.

15

Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk, it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach.

Alcoholic insanity leads us to believe that it would be OK for us to have a drink despite the fact that our own experience proves this to be false. People who are insane do not realize it at the time. We act on our false beliefs and take that first drink setting in motion the physical craving for more alcohol that compels us to continue drinking.

22

He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic.

Our very best thinking will not prevent us from drinking. It never has before, why should it begin to work now?


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

1-2

Whatever the precise definitions of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else?

Here is a definition of insanity that perhaps we can identify with. We seem to lack the ability to properly evaluate the risks compared to the benefits of drinking. We somehow fail to connect our dinking with its almost certain consequences. A straight line of thinking might lead us to conclude that when we take that first drink we begin an uncontrollable spree. The worst part is that even if we are able to connect the cause with the result, at certain times we are unable to effectively use this knowledge.

3-12

You may think this an extreme case. To us it is not farfetched, for this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us. We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences. But there was always the curious mental phenomenon, that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. the insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened.

In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was littel serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be.

One of the hallmarks of alcoholics is that we go to extremes. We don't just get a little nervous, angry, worried, depressed, or jealous. We take these emotions to extreme levels.

This insanity is one of the hallmarks of alcoholism. The authors try to illustrate this type of thinking by showing us examples. Who in their right mind would drink again knowing full well that they are unable to control it once they start? What sane person would drink knowing full well that the consequences will be terrible? An alcoholic will drink in both these circumstances. This is why we consider alcoholics insane. The second step in recovery is to come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. The authors have found through their experiences that by the time we get to Step Ten that sanity will have returned (84:25).

Our sound reasoning fails to keep us in check because the insanity of alcoholism is more powerful than our best thinking. Our very best thinking will not prevent us from drinking. Only someone who is insane would believe that a method that has repeatedly failed to stop their return to drinking would somehow begin to work if only it were tried again.

13-16

Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to that first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jaywalking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun.

The authors illustrate the absurdity of our thinking by being absurd. Look closely at how the story of the jaywalker parallels the progression of alcoholism.



Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

38:17-39:1

Some of you are thinking: "Yes, what you tell us is true, but it doesn't fully apply. We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again. We have not lost everything in life through drinking and we certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information."

If we are experiencing some of these symptoms, it is likely only a matter of time before alcoholism takes us to the extremes that the authors experienced. Once again self-knowledge will not keep us sober and neither will our good intentions. The information we are receiving is intended to illustrate our powerlessness, not to give us the illusion of power.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

7

His income is good, he has a find home, is happily married and the father of promising children of college age.

Fred had everything going for him including position, money, material possessions, happiness, marriage, children, personality, success and stabilty. These things will not protect us from becoming alcoholic.

12

We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters.

The jitters or shakes are a sign of withdrawal from alcohol

13

It was his first experience of this kind, and he was much ashamed of it.

We feel ashamed of ourselves when we lose control of our drinking. This shows a lack of humility---the understanding that we are powerless over alcohol.

39:16-40:8

For a few days he was depressed about his condition. He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether. It never occurred to him that perhaps he could not do so, in spite of his character and standing. Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic, much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem. We told him what we knew about alcoholism. He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself. He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had aquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.

We heard no more of Fred for a while. One day we were told that he was back in the hospital. This time he was quite shaky. He soon indicated he was anxious to see us. The story he told is most instructive for here was a chap absoultely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless.

Being unwilling to acknowledge and admit our powerlessness over alcohol keeps us from acting on the truth that we need a Power greater than ourselves to keep us from drinking.

Our character (i.e., the ability to follow through on our decisions)is affected by alcoholism. When we see we are losing control, our self-confidence is shaken. If we cannot accept our inability to control our drinking, we may try to make excuses or cover it up. It is intolerable to us that our willpower, our primary human resource, is inadequate in this area. Many of us who felt that the position we had achieved in life somehow granted us immunity were surprised when alcohol became our master. Lofty position never saved anyone from alcoholism.

Why would anyone who refused to acknowledge their alcoholism turn to a spiritual solution? Our admission of powerlessness makes us willing to look for a spiritual solution to our problems.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

[nandm]

2-3

He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.

Painful memories, fear of humiliation and self-knowledge will not deter an alcoholic from drinking. Eventually the time will come when these memories, fears and knowledge will not be strong enough to overcome the desire to drink.

40:9-41:22

Let him tell you about it: "I was much impressed with what you fellow said about alcoholism, but I frankly did not believe it wouldbe possible for me to drink again. I somewhat appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I had learned. I reasoned I was not so far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, that I would therefore be successful where you men failed. I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it would only be a matter of exercising my willpower and keeping on guard.

In this frame of mind, I went about my business and for a time all was well. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and began to wornder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. I had been out of town before during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about that. Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. My business came off well, I was pleased and knew my partners would be too. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon.

I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all, nothing more. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another cocktail. After dinner I decided to take a walk. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. I remember having several more that night and plenty the next morning. I have a shadowy recollection of being in an airplane bound for New York, of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife. The driver escorted me about for several days. I know little of where I went, or what I said and did. Then came the hospital with unbearable mental and physical suffering.

As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went carefully over that evening in Washington. Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever agains that first drink. This time I had not thought of the consequences at all.

The insidous insanity of the first drink is a subtle insanity. It is not that we are suddenly struck stark raving mad, that comes later, but this insanity waits quietly and patiently in ambush for us. When our guard is down, it rears its powerful head. Seemingly out of the blue, we get the idea that a drink or two would be a good thing. We remeber the pleasure of drinking and forget about the overwhelming craving for alcohol. The memory of the pain and anguish that drinking causes is somehow subdued to the point that our insane desire for alcohol overpowers our sane resolve not to drink.

Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

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3

I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind.

Our inability to permanently resist the temptation to drink is the proof that we have an alcoholic mind. Despite the consequences and despite a sincere desire to stay away from drinking, the person with an alcoholic mind will eventually return to drinking.

4-7

I saw that willpower and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.

The hopelessness we feel when we realize that willpower and self-knowledge can not keep us sober is a result of our mistaken beliefe that these are the only resources available to us. We are attempting to use the wrong tools to accomplish our goal of staying sober. Willpwer and self-knowledge are effective when applied in the appropriate circumstances. The authors hope that we will be willing to set aside willpower and self-knowledge and pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools that are explained in this book. These tools have proven to be wonderfully effective at overcoming alcoholism.

8-19

Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to see me. They grinned, which I didn't like so much, and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time. I had to concede both propositions. They piled on my heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen. This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself.

Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be.

First we are shown that we truly are hopelss without divine help. We are then presented with the solution, a program of action that allows us to awaken spiritually and begin a new way of life.

The first chapters in the Big Book present the evidence that we are hopeless apart from divine help. We are then presented with the solution---a program of action that allows us to awaken spiritually and to a new, successful way of life.

What power is there that can fundamentally change the way a person thinks? This is a seemingly impossible task. We need far more than a change of behavior to recover from alcoholism. We must experience what Dr. Silkworth called an entire psychic change (xxvii:2).

This is Fred's first step! The early members called this feeling of utter hopeless deflation at depth. This admission of powerlessness can produce in us a willingness to proceed with this program of action.

Some of the conceptions that we have to abandon are that: our education, achievements, possessions or position preclued us from being alcoholic; we can control our drinking once we start; we can stay away from drinking through willpower and self-knowledge; we can continue doing the same thing over and over and somehow get differend results; and the help of God is unavailable to us.

This is not an easy thing to do, but the hopelessness of our current situation makes us willing to try this program of aciton that has worked for so many people.

This decision is the third step in the program of action. Many people report that when they made this decision they found that the obsession to drink was removed from them.

20-21

Quite as important was the discover that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.

Stopping drinking is only the beginning of this new way of life. The attempt to apply these principles in all our affairs is a new focus for us. We find that this path is far more satisfying and successful than the road to ruin we are on now.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

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4

We hope it strikes home to thousands like him.

The hope of the authors is that we may see oursleves in Fred's story. If we are unable to stay away from alcohol when we sincerely want to, then we may be alcohollics of the hopeless variety. Have we tried will power and failed? Have we placed our faith in self-knowledge only to fail again?

6

Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems.

We hang on to our threadbare ideas until the holes in our logic become so large that our glaring failure can no longer be hidden. Thinking we have only our own resources to hold on to we still are reluctant to let go. Usually, we must be beaten over and over again before we concede defeat. It is just this concession of defeat that is needed for us to move toward recovery. Without this admission of powerlessness, we usually continue to try to recover under our own power. The admission of powerlessness is the bedrock upon which the foundation of complete willingness lays.

7-13

Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: "What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic's plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from Divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.

This book quotes the opinion of several medical professionals who plainly state that they consider alcoholics hopeless. More importantly, the authors recount their own experience with trying human measures to overcome their alcoholism. They repeatedly illustrate how willpower and self-knowledge are not capable of winning out over this powerful illness. Do our own drinking histories and attempts to control our drinking parallel theirs? Have we exhausted the resources available to us in our own characters, the help of friends and loved ones and the medical community? Where do we place our hope of finding the power to stop drinking and recover from alcoholism?

HISTORICAL NOTE:
43:8----Doctor Percy Polick a psychiatrist, as Bellevue Hospital in New York.

14-16

Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a higher Power.

If drinking produces in us a craving beyond our ability to control and we are unable to refrain from drinking despite our knowledge of the adverse consequences and our most firm resolve not to, then apart from divind help, we are most certainly defenseless.

Our best thinking offers no insurance against relapse. Human power cannot overcome either the phenomenon of craving or alcoholic insanity. When we admit that we are powerless over alcohol, we have nowhere else to turn but to a Higher Power.


Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D.

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