Randy925

Hi everyone. I have been reading these forums for a year and a half.

Been sober from alcohol 18 months now. I had some pretty bad PAWS early on. Dizziness etc. That seems to have mostly cleared up but now I've been thinking up ways to trick myself into having a cold beer. The best drink in the world don't you know.

I used to get off work and go buy a twelve pack of bottles and throw them in the cooler with a big ol' bag of ice....ahhh. The sound of twisting off the cap pshhht! cold smoke rising - glug glug glug.

I don't know why I quit. I was driving home one night after work and I just bypassed the liquor store. I didn't feel like doing it that night not sure why.

The next night I bypassed the liquor store again. Two nights in a row no drinking. The next morning I had a bad dizzy spell and thought I was having a stroke or something. I called my wife and she told me to go to the Emergency Room. Alcohol withdrawal.

18 months later nothing seems any fun anymore. I don't go anywhere with my friends because they all still drink, alot. In bed by 8PM every night. Just curious if it ever gets better. I'm not depressed or anything it's just after the PAWS symptoms left I thought I'd be happier but I'm not and those old thoughts are creeping back now. A tug-of-war with myself that I have always lost in the past.

August252015

Congrats on 18 mo! Besides drinking, what else have you changed about your life? I have 18 mo tomorrow and my life is totally different than it was when drinking.

If you haven't worked a program (I am an AAer) or joined up/found any interests, people, etc, maybe now's the perfect time.

For me and lots of other people, there is so much more to life than just the not drinking part. I hope you find it- it makes living sober and healthy so worth it.

tomsteve

welcome,randy.
being unhappy sucks. been there for sure.
i learned happyness isnt something that just magically would happen- i had to work for it. i had to find what made me happy and do it. that didnt happen just doing something once.

im glad ya recognize the tug of war is something that happened in the past and ya lost. reads like its time to DO something about it.
and prolly not wise to do what youve done before that led ya back to the bottle- prolly wise to do something different.
have ya done anything more than just not drink?

Dee74

Hi and welcome Randy - congrats on 18 months

I had to do more than just not drink - I really had to change my life. I tried being sober in my old life many times and that just made me miserable because my old life was all about drinking.

Sitting around watching drinkers drink doesn't thrill me either

You must have things you'd like to do or try - whats stopping you know your sober?

If you build a sober life you love, you'll never want to escape from it

D

AnvilheadII

maybe it's time to start looking into NEW stuff to do? this might involve new people.

18 months is AMAZING, Randy. onwards and upwards!

january161992

welcome Randy925

drinking was maybe 5% of my problem

all stopping drinking did was allow me to start work on the real problem which is me !

D122y

My AA family calls being sober and unhappy...being dry.

Dry as a hay bail...is what the guy said yesterday.

So we need to help folks. Help folks at hospitals. Old folks homes...help prisoners learn to read.

Volunteer stuff.

Going to AA meetings....working the steps.

Learn a new skill...take lessons....or teach a skill.

Working out is huge for me. I am also a teacher for a living.

I help all the time at work.

I help here too.

Thanks.

Mattq2

Hey Randy, I was a big beer drinker too. Everything I did for fun involved beer. Once I got some sober time I learned to have fun without it. I do have a lot of new friends that aren't big drinkers but I still have fun. Some of the things I thought I did for fun turned out to be just reasons to drink.

It's just time for you to start learning that you can have fun sober. It gets better

Anna

Randy, 18 months of recovery is great. Congratulations!

I wonder if you've made any other changes in your life, besides stopping drinking. It might help to consider taking up a new hobby, getting involved in volunteering in your community, playing sports, or whatever you might like to do for fun.

Soberwolf

It gets better all the time ... Remember everyone has a bad day every now & then

Great job on 18 months

CelticZebra

18 months is great news.
Definitely sounds like you could do with a new interest or re-spark in something you enjoy. It's amazing how many things I can do now I don't drink and helping out other humans is a good way to find ddifferent ways to live life withoutt alcohol.
Kee p going

aasharon90

I had to replace the word NEVER in my
vocabulary and replace it with just for
today because whenever I would say
never, it was like committing to not
drinking forever, then some person,
place or thing would ruffle my feathers
and BOOM, ive picked up poison and
there I was, right back where I began again.

I could never committee truthfully or
honestly to anything for long term. Sure,
id start off strong, then id get pizz'd,
aggravated, restless, irritable, discontent,
resentful, life just not going my way
and then I'm fumed and have to numb
or feed the demon inside me, which
only made matters worse.

Just because I'm sober doesn't mean
I'm exempt from lifes problems. Today,
I have to continue to remain teachable,
listening, learning, absorbing and applying
healthier, helpful solutions to it on a daily
bases.

The way I find out how to do that is
to ask for suggestions and find out
what will work best in your own life.

Keep It Simple and continue on your
journey in life and sobriety.