Support from your family members
Why would you need to explain to your daughter why you drank this morning?
Why did you drink this morning? We'll listen.
I'm guessing it had something to do with one of my main reasons to drink, "Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink."
I guarantee she didn't want to hear it. That's probably why she brought reinforcements. It's not her job to heal you, that's your job.
Are you ready to do whatever it takes to put down your bottle?
Why did you drink this morning? We'll listen.
I'm guessing it had something to do with one of my main reasons to drink, "Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink."
I guarantee she didn't want to hear it. That's probably why she brought reinforcements. It's not her job to heal you, that's your job.
Are you ready to do whatever it takes to put down your bottle?
Hi FieldReport
I dunno about you but I drank to the point where I pretty much alienated everyone I've loved with my thoughtlessness, my selfishness my violent denial and my lies...
and yet I still expected them to come when I called, even when I was drunk, and somehow discern I was troubled, ask me what was wrong and
then, finally, expect them to find a solution for me.
I was so unused to doing anything but drinking, I'd become, quite simply, pathetic.
Don't be like me, FR .
You have everything you need to quit and stay quit right now FieldReport
You have access to the internet, you have support and good advice here, and you have programmes like AA, SMART, LifeRing, Rational Recovery or a host of others to cal on. You have a lot of rehabs (inpatient or outpatient) available and a host of Drs and counselors to help you with your addiction.
All you have to do right now is stop drinking and pick a path.
D
I dunno about you but I drank to the point where I pretty much alienated everyone I've loved with my thoughtlessness, my selfishness my violent denial and my lies...
and yet I still expected them to come when I called, even when I was drunk, and somehow discern I was troubled, ask me what was wrong and
then, finally, expect them to find a solution for me.
I was so unused to doing anything but drinking, I'd become, quite simply, pathetic.
Don't be like me, FR .
You have everything you need to quit and stay quit right now FieldReport
You have access to the internet, you have support and good advice here, and you have programmes like AA, SMART, LifeRing, Rational Recovery or a host of others to cal on. You have a lot of rehabs (inpatient or outpatient) available and a host of Drs and counselors to help you with your addiction.
All you have to do right now is stop drinking and pick a path.
D
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
I used to sit around wondering why my family didn't care I was drinking myself to death, while I got drunk. 'Where's the intervention on me??' I thought. I finally woke up to the realization it wasn't coming.
Family's are strange and unpredictable, especially about alcohol. Mine never acted how I wanted them to even before I ever started drinking. I don't know why I ever expected them to later on.
Yes, it's a source of resentment for me, but it's also morphed into a level of acceptance. They are the way they are and I can't change that.
I had to wake up and realize the onus was on me to get sober.
Also, they can't read your mind. If you need help, you might want to convey that to them.
Family's are strange and unpredictable, especially about alcohol. Mine never acted how I wanted them to even before I ever started drinking. I don't know why I ever expected them to later on.
Yes, it's a source of resentment for me, but it's also morphed into a level of acceptance. They are the way they are and I can't change that.
I had to wake up and realize the onus was on me to get sober.
Also, they can't read your mind. If you need help, you might want to convey that to them.
I didn't get any help or family support from my family......but I didn't ask for any!...and I didn't tell them I was quitting.
For me, this really was about me and I just felt like I didn't deserve to ask for their help, when they needed me I was only half there and half drinking or thinking about the next drink.
I did get amazing support from these boards, Smart meetings, some AA meetings, I read and research RR and AVRT, talked with professionals....once I had broken through the denial, I had to fix the mess I made by my drinking.
Even though I gave up drinking for me, the benifits for my family and relationships have been wonderful.
For me, this really was about me and I just felt like I didn't deserve to ask for their help, when they needed me I was only half there and half drinking or thinking about the next drink.
I did get amazing support from these boards, Smart meetings, some AA meetings, I read and research RR and AVRT, talked with professionals....once I had broken through the denial, I had to fix the mess I made by my drinking.
Even though I gave up drinking for me, the benifits for my family and relationships have been wonderful.
Because if not..... it could well be that nothing else you could say about it really matters a lot.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
^^^^Exactly.
And, what Dee said - what you can really do is quit drinking and pick a path.
At the end of the day, that is the very thing- the only thing- it comes down to, and the rest is a process for lifelong living.
And, what Dee said - what you can really do is quit drinking and pick a path.
At the end of the day, that is the very thing- the only thing- it comes down to, and the rest is a process for lifelong living.
Hello FieldReport,
I am glad that you are reaching out to the other members here for advice and support. You have found a great group of people from whom I have learned a great deal even though I am coming from the other side of this equation--the Friends and Family.
I would beg you, literally beg you to consider something as you move forward.
Your daughter is still your child, even though she is an adult. Please do not place her in the role of your addictions counselor. It is something she is simply not qualified to do. Perhaps you could gain some additional insight by reading some of the threads in our "Adult Children of Addicts/Alcoholics" forum.
I am not at all qualified to offer suggestions about how to come up with a plan for yourself, but I know the good people here can help you and provide you with part of the support you need to live your best life. And you do deserve a happy and peaceful life! And these words of yours show a real clarity into a path forward.
I will keep you and your whole family in my prayers, FR. I hope today is a better day for you!
I am glad that you are reaching out to the other members here for advice and support. You have found a great group of people from whom I have learned a great deal even though I am coming from the other side of this equation--the Friends and Family.
I would beg you, literally beg you to consider something as you move forward.
Your daughter is still your child, even though she is an adult. Please do not place her in the role of your addictions counselor. It is something she is simply not qualified to do. Perhaps you could gain some additional insight by reading some of the threads in our "Adult Children of Addicts/Alcoholics" forum.
I am not at all qualified to offer suggestions about how to come up with a plan for yourself, but I know the good people here can help you and provide you with part of the support you need to live your best life. And you do deserve a happy and peaceful life! And these words of yours show a real clarity into a path forward.
Originally Posted by FieldReport
Thanks everyone for your input and suggestions. Some really good advice here. I need to develop a recovery plan, one that will work for me this time and then stick to it. As many of you have stated and how my life currently is - if't I'm stressed from too much work, I drink, if I'm bored and just sitting around the house, I drink. Everything good or anything bad makes me drink. Packers won last week - I drank, the Packers lost yesterday - I drank. This alcoholism is ridiculous!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)