stupid feelings but....
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Originally Posted by Dee74 
maybe - or maybe it's doing his head in as much as it has yours and he's decided he doesn't want to blur the business/personal line anymore..
or maybe he's just simply keeping work and personal life separate - like I think all the really good bosses do - and this has nothing to do with you at all, enfin?
D
or maybe he's just simply keeping work and personal life separate - like I think all the really good bosses do - and this has nothing to do with you at all, enfin?
D
Thanks you Dee, I appreciate you taking the time to answer...
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Originally Posted by Hevyn
Hi enfin. What a great discussion. Please never think your feelings are petty or too small to talk about. A lot of good & helpful points have been made here. I hope it's helped ease your anxiety a bit by getting it out in the open. Be proud of yourself for not isolating & drinking to cope. It never, ever helps - and always backfires. Take care of yourself.
It has helped enormously talking about it, instead of screwing the lid down on the unwanted feeling, which makes it fester...
Thanks for your help !
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Thanks to you all who replied - you all helped me and made me take steps emotionally to recover from this which has been around for so long -
For several years it was very dark in this marriage and I felt so useless, not good at anything, unattractive, bad mum, unable to discipline my kids according to how my OH wanted... drinking gave us fake fun, which mostly ended up in horrible argument that he always won, and I always cracked and wanted to die... plenty of times we just plodded along, living together but never connecting, and I felt like a failure to him ,I just sank, looked at the floor and did what he said... I felt like leaving so many times, but just knew I couldn't. Not for the kids and not for him - he was in ther somewhere!
We have turned a corner since the summer holidays, the happier man I married started to re-emerge. I wonder if he was depressed... like really depressed - he would never say, doesn't believe in getting help, or talking about it.
So the long dark time was why I let a ***** of a connection with another guy in - it made me feel good that at least someone liked me, and though nothing could ever be of it, I became mildly obsessed with the feeling, and how nice he was to me, when I felt worthless otherwise...
But it is wrong... I told him not to do it when I confronted him with it, yet every time I see him , he brushed his arm on mine, or makes long eye contact and various other signals.... I need to make my stand and not make eye contact, de strong and get myself over this ... I don't want it , and sobriety is my key -I can win!!!
I know its trivial to everyone else... but ot me it was killing me and lingering on and on and on... the party event just made it all come back stronger and I plucked up the courage to ask you lot for help.. .... even though you don't know me, I wrote about 10 posts, I was so worried.... and worried what you would think...
Yet you helped me be strong and I think I have healed a little bit more, thank you all x
For several years it was very dark in this marriage and I felt so useless, not good at anything, unattractive, bad mum, unable to discipline my kids according to how my OH wanted... drinking gave us fake fun, which mostly ended up in horrible argument that he always won, and I always cracked and wanted to die... plenty of times we just plodded along, living together but never connecting, and I felt like a failure to him ,I just sank, looked at the floor and did what he said... I felt like leaving so many times, but just knew I couldn't. Not for the kids and not for him - he was in ther somewhere!
We have turned a corner since the summer holidays, the happier man I married started to re-emerge. I wonder if he was depressed... like really depressed - he would never say, doesn't believe in getting help, or talking about it.
So the long dark time was why I let a ***** of a connection with another guy in - it made me feel good that at least someone liked me, and though nothing could ever be of it, I became mildly obsessed with the feeling, and how nice he was to me, when I felt worthless otherwise...
But it is wrong... I told him not to do it when I confronted him with it, yet every time I see him , he brushed his arm on mine, or makes long eye contact and various other signals.... I need to make my stand and not make eye contact, de strong and get myself over this ... I don't want it , and sobriety is my key -I can win!!!
I know its trivial to everyone else... but ot me it was killing me and lingering on and on and on... the party event just made it all come back stronger and I plucked up the courage to ask you lot for help.. .... even though you don't know me, I wrote about 10 posts, I was so worried.... and worried what you would think...
Yet you helped me be strong and I think I have healed a little bit more, thank you all x
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Originally Posted by canguy
How you going today Ms Enfin?
I know the posts move on pretty quickly
But when you know a name you do look for them.
Hope it's ok for you.
I know the posts move on pretty quickly
But when you know a name you do look for them.
Hope it's ok for you.
Anyway , I got the birthday gifts, card signed by evening and yesterday took him a coffee as usual and we had a chat and I gave him the gifts from us all , but I owned the meeting, I didn't look at his eyes or place myself near his space, I want drawn in. I talked about being sober and strong.. he talked about his gallbladder problems and how he was going to get hammered anyway as it was his birthday. Sad really... he'd take the pain and sickness to be drunk. .....so would we all at one point I guess.
He is one of my friends and I feel genuine warmth for they guy, I just don't want any of the other **** , it messes with my head, and in such a small workplace we all need to get along. So I am defining my boundaries and how I want it to be.
It feels good!
Thanks , really... I have had the courage to do this coz of u guys. ....
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You sound good, enfin.
Your troubles are pretty common, I think a lot of us can relate - I know I can - and it's important to you, so it's good you're writing about it. People get in all kinds of stuff in the course of a marriage. You are doing the right thing and processing.
Good for you.
Your troubles are pretty common, I think a lot of us can relate - I know I can - and it's important to you, so it's good you're writing about it. People get in all kinds of stuff in the course of a marriage. You are doing the right thing and processing.
Good for you.
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Originally Posted by biminiblue
You sound good, enfin.
Your troubles are pretty common, I think a lot of us can relate - I know I can - and it's important to you, so it's good you're writing about it. People get in all kinds of stuff in the course of a marriage. You are doing the right thing and processing.
Good for you.
Your troubles are pretty common, I think a lot of us can relate - I know I can - and it's important to you, so it's good you're writing about it. People get in all kinds of stuff in the course of a marriage. You are doing the right thing and processing.
Good for you.
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