Back from rehab!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 39
Back from rehab!
Just back from rehab. Any advice on staying clean welcome. Going to meetings constantly. Found a sponsor. Am terrified. Girlfriend says she worries that "relationship will always be second" after my recovery. I'm confused. Is that true?
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 626
Congratulations!! One thing.... Recognize and know what your "triggers" are. Then have a plan for when they come up.
I agree... You're recovery needs to be the most important thing. It could mean your life.
I agree... You're recovery needs to be the most important thing. It could mean your life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 249
Hi Augustine,
I'm Snarly and I just joined a couple of days ago so not sure if I should respond with more than a hello and welcome. (7 days sober).
Congratulations on completing rehab. I have resisted going and certainly respect that you even went.
I have spent A LOT of time on this site and the members have been amazing at tolerating a typing over-anlyzing newly sober guy.
If you have the time, I would really appreciate anything that you would care to share about your experience with rehab. This may also help you recall some of the things you benefited from during the program.
Any senior members please tell me if my post is appropriate?
Thanks,
Snarly ( that's me being virtually beaten to remind me booze= bad stuff WILL happen
I'm Snarly and I just joined a couple of days ago so not sure if I should respond with more than a hello and welcome. (7 days sober).
Congratulations on completing rehab. I have resisted going and certainly respect that you even went.
I have spent A LOT of time on this site and the members have been amazing at tolerating a typing over-anlyzing newly sober guy.
If you have the time, I would really appreciate anything that you would care to share about your experience with rehab. This may also help you recall some of the things you benefited from during the program.
Any senior members please tell me if my post is appropriate?
Thanks,
Snarly ( that's me being virtually beaten to remind me booze= bad stuff WILL happen
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Nashville
Posts: 326
Hi - welcome back from rehab. 
I also agree that your recovery should be number one priority right now, but I don't think it necessarily means you'll neglect your relationship either.
As far as recovery plans go... someone typically posts the link to the recovery plan thread on questions like this... I just don't know how to post links to threads in other threads if someone could get that for me?
I also agree that your recovery should be number one priority right now, but I don't think it necessarily means you'll neglect your relationship either.
As far as recovery plans go... someone typically posts the link to the recovery plan thread on questions like this... I just don't know how to post links to threads in other threads if someone could get that for me?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 157
Welcome back and well done. I remember someone in AA saying that his wife asked him if he loved AA more than her. He said he did because if it wasnt for AA he wouldnt be there for her anyway. Interesting perspective.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Without any type of recovery program
incorporated in all areas of our life on a
daily bases, then we wouldn't have anything
else.
If I wanted to keep my job, family,
home, life, health, etc, then I needed
and wanted recovery first because
it would and has become a strong
foundation ive built for myself to
enjoy, appreciate and be grateful
for and live upon for many one days
sober down the road.
No recovery program to help
me remain sober, then no nothing,
no anything.
incorporated in all areas of our life on a
daily bases, then we wouldn't have anything
else.
If I wanted to keep my job, family,
home, life, health, etc, then I needed
and wanted recovery first because
it would and has become a strong
foundation ive built for myself to
enjoy, appreciate and be grateful
for and live upon for many one days
sober down the road.
No recovery program to help
me remain sober, then no nothing,
no anything.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SE USA
Posts: 599
Hello Augustine,
A friend told me that sobriety is like launching a rocket into space. It takes an enormous amount of energy and power to get it out of the atmosphere. But once there small adjustments keep it on course. I have found that to be true.
The best support my wife gave me was allowing me the time in early sobriety to attend a lot of meetings and meet with my sponsor. Once I got my feet on solid ground I was able to focus on my relationships.
If you get a good foundation and maintain it your recovery does come first in everything but it will also enhance everything. I think sometimes people confuse going to a lot of meetings as being the AA/NA program. People believe that we will go to meetings constantly, only hang out with others in the program, neglect family responsibility, etc...The actual recovery program of AA/NA is incorporating the 12 steps into our lives. We "practice these principles in all our affairs".
I had the fear you are experiencing as well. I didn't believe that I could stay sober. All I can tell you is do whatever you have to do right now to stay sober and really focus on it, The fear will diminish as you see for yourself that recovery is actually possible.
A friend told me that sobriety is like launching a rocket into space. It takes an enormous amount of energy and power to get it out of the atmosphere. But once there small adjustments keep it on course. I have found that to be true.
The best support my wife gave me was allowing me the time in early sobriety to attend a lot of meetings and meet with my sponsor. Once I got my feet on solid ground I was able to focus on my relationships.
If you get a good foundation and maintain it your recovery does come first in everything but it will also enhance everything. I think sometimes people confuse going to a lot of meetings as being the AA/NA program. People believe that we will go to meetings constantly, only hang out with others in the program, neglect family responsibility, etc...The actual recovery program of AA/NA is incorporating the 12 steps into our lives. We "practice these principles in all our affairs".
I had the fear you are experiencing as well. I didn't believe that I could stay sober. All I can tell you is do whatever you have to do right now to stay sober and really focus on it, The fear will diminish as you see for yourself that recovery is actually possible.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing. Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute?
it will take T.I.M.E.
for the relationship to work out, but at this time you best make sobriety number 1.
and just what ya typed it reads like your girlfriend could use some alanon.
it will take T.I.M.E.
for the relationship to work out, but at this time you best make sobriety number 1.
and just what ya typed it reads like your girlfriend could use some alanon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by sg1970 
Hello Augustine,
A friend told me that sobriety is like launching a rocket into space. It takes an enormous amount of energy and power to get it out of the atmosphere. But once there small adjustments keep it on course. I have found that to be true.
The best support my wife gave me was allowing me the time in early sobriety to attend a lot of meetings and meet with my sponsor. Once I got my feet on solid ground I was able to focus on my relationships. .
A friend told me that sobriety is like launching a rocket into space. It takes an enormous amount of energy and power to get it out of the atmosphere. But once there small adjustments keep it on course. I have found that to be true.
The best support my wife gave me was allowing me the time in early sobriety to attend a lot of meetings and meet with my sponsor. Once I got my feet on solid ground I was able to focus on my relationships. .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by Snarly
If you have the time, I would really appreciate anything that you would care to share about your experience with rehab. This may also help you recall some of the things you benefited from during the program.
I am not sure if everyone's experience is different, but my experience was absolutely incredible. I went for a month. I didn't have internet or phone (except for twice a week, supervised calls for 10 minutes just to family). I kind of loved that, to be honest. Loved the freedom of disconnection so that I could focus what i was there for.
In the program I worked on getting introduced to the Big Book (the AA book). Also I worked on Step 1 of the 12 steps. Now I'm working on Step 2. We as an inpatient group went to outside AA and NA meetings, which was great. We did workshops on the unit, too.
Most of the counselors were recovering addicts, which was amazing because they talked about their much better lives on the other end.
Some of the other clients (patients) were really motivated, others not so much, so you have to find the right ones to hang out with.
Ultimately, it's not about hanging out with other clients, though it's about getting out of the program what you put in. The more you put in, the more you get out. While you're there, talk to the counselors, use every moment of your time to learn and you will walk away with tremendous knowledge and wisdom and strength.
The days are very long at first as days are long when one is trying to change behavior. But after about a week, time speeds up and then it basically zooms SO fast that you can't believe the whole thing is over.
I loved it there, would go back any time BEFORE I felt a slip coming.
Hope this helps.
Augustine.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
So glad you got a lot out of rehab!
I've been to inpatient rehab as well. 7 weeks. Best thing I ever did for myself. I've been sober almost a year now.
I have a different take on staying sober. (Keep in mind my recovery center was not AA/12 Step based and I don't go to AA meetings.) Learning how to handle my anxiety and "what if" thinking helped my resolve in choosing not to drink. I'm going through a lot of life changes right now -- a divorce, my triplets left for college, I have to move, find a job after being a stay at home mom for 19 years -- and I've stayed sober through it all. The only meetings I've had were online, 1x a week if I chose, and recently they started offering grads online meditation. I come to SR a lot. At rehab, I learned how to look within for calm and centerdness. That has helped me not just with drinking, but with a lot of the challenges I'm facing right now.
Some people say going to a gazillion meetings every week is trading one addiction for another. I don't know about that. If meetings help you stay sober, by all means ignore everything I said. But for me personally, they were not necessary. I went to a couple after I got home from rehab and all they did was make me think about drinking! Really, if you don't feed it, if you replace it with new habits/lifestyle, the drinking obsession goes away -- or at least becomes much more manageable.
Bottom line, everyone is different and what "works" for one person may not work for another. You're new to sobriety so if going to a lot of meetings keeps you on track, keep doing it. Eventually you may not need to go to so many.
I've been to inpatient rehab as well. 7 weeks. Best thing I ever did for myself. I've been sober almost a year now.
I have a different take on staying sober. (Keep in mind my recovery center was not AA/12 Step based and I don't go to AA meetings.) Learning how to handle my anxiety and "what if" thinking helped my resolve in choosing not to drink. I'm going through a lot of life changes right now -- a divorce, my triplets left for college, I have to move, find a job after being a stay at home mom for 19 years -- and I've stayed sober through it all. The only meetings I've had were online, 1x a week if I chose, and recently they started offering grads online meditation. I come to SR a lot. At rehab, I learned how to look within for calm and centerdness. That has helped me not just with drinking, but with a lot of the challenges I'm facing right now.
Some people say going to a gazillion meetings every week is trading one addiction for another. I don't know about that. If meetings help you stay sober, by all means ignore everything I said. But for me personally, they were not necessary. I went to a couple after I got home from rehab and all they did was make me think about drinking! Really, if you don't feed it, if you replace it with new habits/lifestyle, the drinking obsession goes away -- or at least becomes much more manageable.
Bottom line, everyone is different and what "works" for one person may not work for another. You're new to sobriety so if going to a lot of meetings keeps you on track, keep doing it. Eventually you may not need to go to so many.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 249
Augustine,
Thank you sir!
Sounds like you went in there with a great attitude to begin with!
I've learned that if you choose to take a positive attitude and work ethic in any situation you will do well.
Sad that others spent a month in the program and didn't take advantage.
Seems like as you embraced it, you got a lot out of it. Time flew for you...probably felt like jail time for others.
Trust me, your time versus those that didn't participate is like comparing Usain Bolt and a snail running the 100 yard sprint.
Just what I needed to hear.
Thanks again,
Snarly
Ironic just as I am ready to post this, Amy Winehouse song "Rehab" started
Thank you sir!
Sounds like you went in there with a great attitude to begin with!
I've learned that if you choose to take a positive attitude and work ethic in any situation you will do well.
Sad that others spent a month in the program and didn't take advantage.
Seems like as you embraced it, you got a lot out of it. Time flew for you...probably felt like jail time for others.
Trust me, your time versus those that didn't participate is like comparing Usain Bolt and a snail running the 100 yard sprint.
Just what I needed to hear.
Thanks again,
Snarly
Ironic just as I am ready to post this, Amy Winehouse song "Rehab" started
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