Soberintexas007

So far have hung in there. I don't want to pick up today. I really want another Day 1. Today I told my husband that I would not pick up his weed, and that we would have to go get it together on his off day, as I don't want to be driving around with marijuana in my car. He threw a minor temper tantrum since he wanted it today, but I had to do what I needed to take care of myself.

Feeling a little sluggish right now. Should probably run but I feel so tired. Am definitely going to try and make a meeting tonight.

ScottFromWI

Getting to a meeting tonight sounds like a fine idea to me. Instead of "trying" to get to one make it a point to definitely get to one.

Your husband can sort out his weed issues himself, you have no obligation to be involved with that whatsoever.

Soberintexas007

Yes, I will go to a meeting. I am glad that I did not get involved with his weed issues. I feel like I was able to take care of myself, even though he threw the tantrum.

I am going to go for a run (even though I am sooo tired, but I know that I need to), and then get to a meeting. I need this Day 1 so badly!

huntingtontx

I am proud of you. I know how hard day one can be. Enjoy your meeting and let us know how you are doing.

sleepie

Now is always a good time to have a Day One... on to day two!

waynetheking

Stay sober...one day at a time. ..its really as simple as that!

Hawkeye13

Maybe you should go stay with your folks for a few days until you get some sober time behind you.

Dealing with a pothead alcoholic immature baby who is using in front of you constantly really isn't the *best atmosphere to get those first critical days of sobriety.

*It isn't an easy way to stay sober in the long term either, but it can be done.

ryan9119

Day one is easy, you just go to sleep early and even though you toss and turn you feel better than you have the next day.

Second day you're like ah well, I know I can do it, maybe I'll just drink till Thursday etc.

Serenidad

You can do it!!!

Soberintexas007

YES! Made it to Day 3! Had a nice day today with eating three meals, exercising, reading some of the Big Book, and just taking it easy. Husband is drinking now in front of me, as he did last night, and I have not been feeling affected because I feel full, and also because I just don't want to drink and take on the depression and anxiety the next day.

ryan9119

Good job!

No offense, but it's kinda douchey for him be drinking in front of you like that.

Soberintexas007

I know. But he is a functional alcoholic. And that is what alcoholics do, so I try not to take it personally.

Soberintexas007

Just found out that my insurance does not include any substance abuse treatment, so no wonder that rehab referral guy never called me back, very rude. Oh well, looks like I am going to have to do this without any rehab.

tomsteve

Welp, IMO,no. Instead of assuming he didn't call you back because of the insurance, you should call a d find out. If you truly a d sincerely want help and will go to rehab you will get on the phone and and not get off it until you find a place that will take you. There are many rehabs in Texas that are federally or state funded and also ones run on donations.

https://www.dshs.state.tx.us/mhsa-sa-help/
I hope you don't try to use the excuse that those rehabs are too sleazy or shabby for ya. I know quite a few people today sober,free, and living awesome lives that went through state funded rehabs.

CodeJob

I don't know what kind of insurance you have, but just for others reading this thread, getting this kind of benefit in insurance is sky rocketing. It is one of the reasons some people's private health insurance went up in price - they were required to add or adjust mental health benefits.

The Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act - Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services

Soberintexas007

Thank you for your feedback. At this time, I was only looking into rehab just to see what is covered. At this time, however, I am not interested in going to one. I believe I am doing well with my own plan as of now.

ryan9119

Isn't you quitting and him still boozing and wanting you to drive him around picking up his weed gonna build a giant castle of resentment?

I'm not you so I don't know, but that doesn't seem like an ideal situation.

Not judging, just curious

Soberintexas007

We go together to get his weed and make an outing out of it and have dinner. We even go to the cannabis club together. This does not bother me at all, as I really don't like weed.

You are right - I may become resentful that he is drinking and I am not. I am trying to find a way to cope with this resentment. Maybe the fact that I am eating more will subdue the cravings and thus the resentment.

There are no easy answers right now. I think my husband is a little bit resentful that he has to work and I don't, but he loves me and probably finds a way to deal with it.

I have to remind myself that I have a pretty easy, good life right now, and that it is a little bit selfish to start crying just because I can't drink.

Soberintexas007

Had a good therapy session with my therapist. We are trying to think together of ways that I can get through my husbands off days without drinking. Although I hope to stay sober, she also told me not to beat myself up mercilessly if I choose to drink.