Originally Posted by QuickBen

Hi all. Hoping to join the March class if at all possible. I've only ever been an intermittent poster here but my complete lack of connection to any group (here, AA, etc) of other folks in recovery is, I think, a big part of what cost me 123 Days on March 1st.

Yesterday was another Day 1 and I'm hoping to make this Day 2. What has me most twisted right now isn't necessarily that I relapsed, it's how I relapsed--sneaking pints into my house, not attending meetings any more but lying to my fiance and telling her I was, etc. This disease can really show you and everyone around you all the absolute worst parts of yourself.

Hoping to be more involved here from now on, and to actually get back to some meetings and be more than just a fly on the wall.

Originally Posted by ArcticSA

Day 9. Last night was a set-in-stone drinking night for me and hubs. I was in town while the kids were at a club, this is when I would pick up the 6 packs. It was so weird. I would usually come home, and RUSH the kids off to bed ASAP so we could get our drink on right away. Instead I came home and we all just putzed around and at they ate their bedtime snack too slow, but I didn't care.
They got to bed an hour later than usual, but who cared? No drinks waiting in the fridge.
We put in our movie, which was fittingly about addiction, true story, "To write Love on Her Arms" and at one point I got up and went to the fridge to get a fizzy water and the case made that "ca-klunk" and I saw hubs face snap up like I think he thought I secretly had beer in there and I think he was happy, then he saw it was a water. -_-

Originally Posted by kkik5

Evening of Day 11. Longest I've been sober since January 2014. Weirdly enough, I've had no cravings for alcohol today. Probably too busy and focused on work, but went to the store after I got off the bus, walked by the huge beer alley, recognised it was there but I had zero reaction to it.

Originally Posted by Mvngon

Good day class of 2015.

I am back, yet again. I've been struggling with quitting alcohol for good since February 2013. Such a shame that so much time has passed, yet thankful and grateful for a great deal of progress.

Finding it kind of embarrassing to come back after another failure, but a little humility is likely good for me.

Hope that you all have a great day, and much love and support to each and every one of you.

MV

Originally Posted by soberwolf

Welcome back mvngone have you got a sober plan

Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn

Don't be too hard on yourself. I mean of course you feel like a failure and you're angry that you let yourself fail. However, on the flip side of that coin is the fact that you haven't given up! You're still trying and you made your way back here. Besides, AV is a mean bastard that doesn't give up easily, and any one of us could easily have slipped up just the same. I know I did. More than once. Welcome to what I am affectionately calling The Marching Band.

Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn

Ya know, I was there for a long while too. AV kept saying, "Well, that little bit can't hurt. Just keep it under wraps. Everything's fine. Blah blah blah." The problem was it would always escalate and I'd be right back to square one. Matter of fact, I'm on day four from my most recent loss of control. You can do this! It sucks and it's a bit painful but you CAN do it! We are all here and rooting for you!

Originally Posted by QuickBen

Really appreciate the response. You know what I've found? I had a problem for a very long time and tried to communicate it to folks around me. When I finally started to get serious about it and started getting support from the people closest to me and it registered with them that I was, in fact, an alcoholic, that's when I resorted to sneaking... And when I resorted to sneaking, the drinking took a HUGE uptick. Not to mention the detrimental impact of being a liar and a slinky sneak on my relationships.