M0NSTER

i'll go ten days sober and feel good. then mofo bam a craving hits that i cant control. i dont know that i can do this. i feel i will be an alcoholic forever. ive been through this a million times, nothing makes it different. near death experiences too hospital visits not remembering who i am, ive been there and done that. what am i doing wrong?

Carbonized

Doing it without a support network in place? Perhaps you might need inpatient care.

TigerLili

Unfortunately if you ARE an alcoholic, you are going to be that way forever. Addiction doesn't go away. A really good thing to do right now might be to read lots of different threads on the forum and find out what other people are doing about the same problem. Feel free to talk about what's going on for you as much as you like. There's lots of people here to listen.

Dee74

I think most of us have let that way - I certainly did.

The big lie is that we can't control it or that we have no power over our addiction.
That's totally wrong - and there's several thousand people here who'll testify to that.

I drank all day every day for five years - it wasn't easy getting sober - I had to go through a lot of discomfort and make a check of a lot of changes but I did it cos I didn;t want to live that way one more second.

If you can identify with any of that, you have every bit the chance I did M0nster

D

Jsober

Have you thought about AA or another support system. It can't hurt to try and may even turn things around for you. I was in your shoes- repeating binge cycles despite my best efforts. AA has given me information on why this happens to us and ways to deal with it other than drink. I have been sober for 4 years now and that was not my own doing but help from others in AA.

awuh1

MONSTER, I think it might be a good idea to describe what you have tried in order to quit. Have you ever attended AA? Have you had any treatment, or read any books on addiction or approaches to recovery? Have you spoken to a physician? I think you will get more helpful advice if people here know more about your situation.

You said you feel like you cannot control your urge to drink. There are lots of us here who felt the same way. You'll find even more at a local AA meeting. If you've never attended, you might consider checking it out.

All the best.

Gottalife

I couldn't beat it. It beat me. It was only when I realised that I was totally beaten that I was willing to do whatever it took to recover. For as long as I thought I had options, that I could control it, that I could place conditions and limits on what I would be prepared to do, I got drunk. Victory over alcohol came from unconditional surrender, and that happened when I knew I was out of options.

IOAA2

Hi.

When I was finally able to plug the jug I needed person to person assistance and that was at AA meetings. It’s far more pleasant than the misery alcohol had created.

Fortunately my obsession lasted less than a couple weeks because I started to follow suggestions of those who had been there. One was attending many meetings even if I didn’t want to. Another was use the phone numbers I got from the meetings and talk to others instead of listening to my undisciplined thinking. Another was to get active with groups and become acquainted with people doing the same. I also had to make sobriety my #1 goal ahead of family, job, etc if not those wouldn’t be part of my life if I didn’t sober up.

Back then there were few meeting that started before 8PM and it got tough after 4PM for a lot of newcomers. Today in my country setting there are meetings morning, noon , late afternoon and evenings so no excuse there.

The bottom line is we need to want to stop drinking, no more wishy washy want toos.

BE WELL

thisisme

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
― Henry Ford

SoberCAH

Glad you are here, Monster.

Alcoholism, cravings and the consequences of drinking combine to make a pretty miserable result.

I suggest that you try to get professional help.

Drinking is not worth dying for.

biminiblue

It isn't easy to get past those cravings, but it is possible. Every time you give in you give up more of your soul.

Just tough it out. It gets easier, but you have to get through that hard first couple months.

dwtbd

Sometimes jedi minds really work, sounds silly but can you just 'trick' yourself into thinking everyday is day 8 , cos you say 10 is doable , I bet 11 is too, so for now just count to 8, next day go to 7 , throw a 9 too here and there, you got this, rootin for ya

pulltight

I'd tell myself when the urge to drink hit that I couldn't drink now but the coming weekend I could go ahead and drink.
When the weekend came the urge was gone and I didn't drink. ...right or wrong it got me through and I'm still putting off drinking everyday.

wheresthefun

MONSTER, you mention the different negative things that have come about from your drinking, but you don't mention anything different that you've tried to stay stopped.

For the record, I think you can, but the Henry Ford quote above, rings pretty true in every aspect of life.

Soberwolf

This

Nonsensical

What are you willing to do to find out?

zjw

Its incremental at first. 1 min 1 hour 1 day 1 week. it really doesnt seem like much and to be honest is a huge chore and undertaking especially when you focus on the large picture (being sober for life or somehow cureing your alcoholism). dont even bother looking at the larger picture. Focus on the small achievments and be happy with them. they are all you got.

In time those small achievements those small increments add up and become the bigger picture you just dont realize your building it now or at least you shouldnt realize your building it because you should be focusing on the small achievements not the bigger picture.

Sometimes i stayed sober for no reason at all. I'd wake up and be like oh god not this again whats the point. I'd just suck it up stick it out and be eager and hopeful that the next day might be better or that this would pay of somehow. Believe me I had very little hope that this sobriety nonsense would be worth it. I sucked itup day after day many days only because drinking was such a worse laternative then my sober days but my sober days where no cake walk many of times but I had no choice but to move forward as I new going backward was certainly not going to work out. For a while I just figured this was it life was gonna suck from here on out etc... But I kept going forward.

The increments added up life got better it got easier. I dont even always think of it as 1 day at a time anymore tho I prefer too just because it just makes it easier that way.

Keep it simple just worry about now. dont worry about past attempts or will you be sober 1 year from now etc.. just worry about right now.

least

I used to think I was doomed to die an alcoholic. But the support here saved my life. I've been sober five years now and I used to think I was hopeless.

You can do this.

PhaseTwo

Yes you can beat it. Do what pulltight said. Just keep telling yourself "I'll drink tomorrow, I can't today" and eventually you just won't want to. It sounds ridiculous but it works

ardy

Monster so much good advice here from those that have had the same problem.. maybe kiddo you need a new drink... I got my Hubby into flavor teas... takes time to make and brew and is great Ice cold and with green leaves mint rosemary and such.. he loves it and its good for so much of his tummy and system.. and hey it gives us the time to really talk about things in the kitchen. I like that and the fact he has more energy if you get my drift.. hugs and Stand Tall Hold the High Ground and keep Punching ardy