Totally confused...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 3
Totally confused...
Hey guys, newbie here!
I'm not really sure where to start, but here goes. I've drank maybe 3 times a week for the last couple of years and I find myself not being able to go more than a few days without 'fancying a drink'. The trouble is that I cannot just stop at 1 or 2 and I always have 6+. I have realised that it's become a coping mechanism for my spiralling anxiety and both the anxiety and alcohol seem to fuel one another.
I'm confused as to whether I actually have a problem, I'm familiar with "the first step is to acknowledge that you have a problem" but I have so much going through my head that I don't know if I do have a problem. I'm not in denial, just utterly unsure and confused.
I always believed (maybe rather ignorantly) that alcoholism is strictly reserved to those that wake up needing a drink. Do I have a problem?
I'm sorry in advance if I cause offence due to my explantion of my situation.
I'm not really sure where to start, but here goes. I've drank maybe 3 times a week for the last couple of years and I find myself not being able to go more than a few days without 'fancying a drink'. The trouble is that I cannot just stop at 1 or 2 and I always have 6+. I have realised that it's become a coping mechanism for my spiralling anxiety and both the anxiety and alcohol seem to fuel one another.
I'm confused as to whether I actually have a problem, I'm familiar with "the first step is to acknowledge that you have a problem" but I have so much going through my head that I don't know if I do have a problem. I'm not in denial, just utterly unsure and confused.
I always believed (maybe rather ignorantly) that alcoholism is strictly reserved to those that wake up needing a drink. Do I have a problem?
I'm sorry in advance if I cause offence due to my explantion of my situation.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Welcome!
If you want to know if alcohol is a problem for you, just stop, right now. Go through a period of say 90 days with no alcohol and see how you feel. You will likely have your answer one way or the other.
I think it's good to know that alcoholism is not about how much or how often you drink. It's more about what happens to you when you drink. I became a person I hated, so stopping worked for me.
If you want to know if alcohol is a problem for you, just stop, right now. Go through a period of say 90 days with no alcohol and see how you feel. You will likely have your answer one way or the other.
I think it's good to know that alcoholism is not about how much or how often you drink. It's more about what happens to you when you drink. I became a person I hated, so stopping worked for me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome leighroy.
ok, so your not sure if you have a problem. maybe i can share something that may help you decide:
I find myself not being able to go more than a few days without 'fancying a drink'. The trouble is that I cannot just stop at 1 or 2 and I always have 6+. I have realised that it's become a coping mechanism for my spiralling anxiety and both the anxiety and alcohol seem to fuel one another.
alcoholism isnt about how much a person drinks. the alcohol in alcoholism is only a symptom. its about why we drink and what we do when we drink.
a person doesnt have to be in the gutter to be an alcoholic, but the label doesnt matter.
if you have a problem with alcohol then you have aproblem with alcohol.
which im sure you can determine that by reading the above
ok, so your not sure if you have a problem. maybe i can share something that may help you decide:
I find myself not being able to go more than a few days without 'fancying a drink'. The trouble is that I cannot just stop at 1 or 2 and I always have 6+. I have realised that it's become a coping mechanism for my spiralling anxiety and both the anxiety and alcohol seem to fuel one another.
alcoholism isnt about how much a person drinks. the alcohol in alcoholism is only a symptom. its about why we drink and what we do when we drink.
a person doesnt have to be in the gutter to be an alcoholic, but the label doesnt matter.
if you have a problem with alcohol then you have aproblem with alcohol.
which im sure you can determine that by reading the above
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
It's very insightful of you to see that your anxiety and your drinking are fueling each other. The cycle will progress until you find a way out of the cycle.
The fact that you cannot stop at one drink is very nearly the definition of alcoholism as per AA. But the label is not so important as is your plan to deal with the problem.
All the best.
The fact that you cannot stop at one drink is very nearly the definition of alcoholism as per AA. But the label is not so important as is your plan to deal with the problem.
All the best.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
It's not what you drink, or how much or how often, it's what happens to you when you drink. It does sound like you have no control over it once you start. The easiest way would be to stop drinking, like Anna said, for a period of time, and see how you feel then. No alcohol for at least 3 months, so you can begin to see the benefits of sobriety.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,575
Hi Leighroy! Welcome to a friendly & encouraging place.
Not being able to stop at one or two was my problem also. Unfortunately, I ignored it & kept on going - trying to use willpower to control myself. As a result, I ended up drinking every day - completely dependent on it. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life.
Not being able to stop at one or two was my problem also. Unfortunately, I ignored it & kept on going - trying to use willpower to control myself. As a result, I ended up drinking every day - completely dependent on it. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,680
Welcome LR. SR is a VERY good place to learn and find support. Do you have a problem? The fact you think you might gives you a really BIG clue. 'NORMIES' JUST THINK- 'I NEED TO STOP DRINKING..AND THEY DO.' I COULD NOT. wILL POWER DOES NOT WORK BECAUSE ADDICTIVE THINKING DOES NOT FOLLOW ANY RULES. SORRY caps lock.
I suggest you go to an AA meeting, sit at the back and just listen. Close your eyes and just listen to the common themes. look past the words we flinch from when said..such as alcoholic. Or god, or higher power- or the clichés. The purpose is not to drink. I also see a counsellor to help me work thru the crap of addictive thinking. Also less frequently but just as important- I see a psychologist to work out WHY I drink. Long term planning and support is essential for me to remain sober, which from the most hellish of circumstances- I have been able to do for 17 months. From 4L of wine a day to nothing. I also have regular check ups for my physical health with a GP. Sobriety for me is a goal I have as unconscious as breathing. If I stop breathing- I die. If I stop using a support network daily (such as SR) I will drink and next time I will die.
Empathy and support to you.
I suggest you go to an AA meeting, sit at the back and just listen. Close your eyes and just listen to the common themes. look past the words we flinch from when said..such as alcoholic. Or god, or higher power- or the clichés. The purpose is not to drink. I also see a counsellor to help me work thru the crap of addictive thinking. Also less frequently but just as important- I see a psychologist to work out WHY I drink. Long term planning and support is essential for me to remain sober, which from the most hellish of circumstances- I have been able to do for 17 months. From 4L of wine a day to nothing. I also have regular check ups for my physical health with a GP. Sobriety for me is a goal I have as unconscious as breathing. If I stop breathing- I die. If I stop using a support network daily (such as SR) I will drink and next time I will die.
Empathy and support to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 315
There anxiety circle you describe is very common with alcohol misuse. For me, that misuse became complete abuse, and with it, my anxiety spiraled into full panic attacks.
Only you can decide if you have a problem, but I think it's a wonderful thing that you're taking a serious look at it.
Only you can decide if you have a problem, but I think it's a wonderful thing that you're taking a serious look at it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 3
Thanks for all the replies, guys. I've spent the last couple of days looking back to how I was before I started drinking and I want to be that person again. And I will be!
I now know that, 100%, I have a problem and I cannot go on like this.
I now know that, 100%, I have a problem and I cannot go on like this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 937
Hi Leighroy
Welcome to SR, you'll find great support here should you want to find a better life for yourself.
I never drank in the mornings, I never even drank every day. I didn't drink spirits and I never woke up in the gutter. I never drove under the influence and I've always held down a job.
That said, I'm a raving alcoholic and there isn't a single aspect of my life that isn't better since I came here and followed the exact same advice from the exact same people who have already contributed to your thread.
That anxiety you talk about has completely disappeared now, as has the crippling depression that used to define me. I don't recognise the person I once was.
Good luck to you on your journey :-)
Welcome to SR, you'll find great support here should you want to find a better life for yourself.
I never drank in the mornings, I never even drank every day. I didn't drink spirits and I never woke up in the gutter. I never drove under the influence and I've always held down a job.
That said, I'm a raving alcoholic and there isn't a single aspect of my life that isn't better since I came here and followed the exact same advice from the exact same people who have already contributed to your thread.
That anxiety you talk about has completely disappeared now, as has the crippling depression that used to define me. I don't recognise the person I once was.
Good luck to you on your journey :-)
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Leigh,
SR via the Internet saved my life.
Now that we can Google info. We can learn and try to stop before we need medical intervention.
I feel that is where you are right now.
You have a physical and mental addiction.
If you want to quit, you are half way there.
It is awesome going out now, to restaurants and parties and not drinking.
Once we get clean, and want to stay clean, it is a better world.
Seeing life through an intoxicated brain was fun, until it wasn't.
Now, seeing life sober is fun....this is how we were designed.
It takes some time for natural brain dopamine to return, but when it does...staying clean is much easier.
Exercise and activities help w the healing.
Stay clean.
Thanks.
SR via the Internet saved my life.
Now that we can Google info. We can learn and try to stop before we need medical intervention.
I feel that is where you are right now.
You have a physical and mental addiction.
If you want to quit, you are half way there.
It is awesome going out now, to restaurants and parties and not drinking.
Once we get clean, and want to stay clean, it is a better world.
Seeing life through an intoxicated brain was fun, until it wasn't.
Now, seeing life sober is fun....this is how we were designed.
It takes some time for natural brain dopamine to return, but when it does...staying clean is much easier.
Exercise and activities help w the healing.
Stay clean.
Thanks.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I took the alcohol ride right down to the cellar, but I can't remember one occasion where I felt I needed a a drink, especially on waking. There were roughly three scenarios on any given day. I either was too sick to drink, too broke to drink, or I drank until I was too sick or broke to drink. No desperate need in there, I just wanted to have a good time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by sugarbear1 
How easy is it for you to not drink for 6 months?
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