Sneaky, persistent and a bit scary!
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Sneaky, persistent and a bit scary!
Out walking my dogs this morning. A lovely cold day with lots of bright sunshine between snow flurries. There are snowdrops in the park and daffodil shoots. Spring isn't too far away. Plus I was sober!
As I enjoyed the scenery a little thought started to niggle at me. I have had some spells - a few days here and there of late where I have not consumed alcohol. For me, a daily drinker, by habit, this is an achievement of sorts.
I found myself almost observing the thoughts developing as if I was looking in from outside as I found myself wondering if these little spells of being sober (and feeling better as a result) were all I needed to do. perhaps, I wondered, I have found my own route to some sort of 'moderation'. And the rest followed of course as my addicted self went on - blah bla blah and getting excited by the possibility of accessing my personal poison.
I saw it for what it was - addiction at work - and I am feeling positive and at no risk, today, of picking up a drink!
As I enjoyed the scenery a little thought started to niggle at me. I have had some spells - a few days here and there of late where I have not consumed alcohol. For me, a daily drinker, by habit, this is an achievement of sorts.
I found myself almost observing the thoughts developing as if I was looking in from outside as I found myself wondering if these little spells of being sober (and feeling better as a result) were all I needed to do. perhaps, I wondered, I have found my own route to some sort of 'moderation'. And the rest followed of course as my addicted self went on - blah bla blah and getting excited by the possibility of accessing my personal poison.
I saw it for what it was - addiction at work - and I am feeling positive and at no risk, today, of picking up a drink!
Until It Sleeps
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: AL
Posts: 215
I started my journey inward a few years ago thinking alcohol was a helpful tool in the process. Boy was I wrong. Its a liar that has kept me down far to long That AV is highly jealous of everyone and everything around me. Told my wife how have you sat second seat to my AV all these years. She thought it was just as normal as I. Know I know different, and I'm learning how to make the AV keep its mouth shut. And the morning stillness as the sun breaks over the lake out back is beautiful and refreshing each day. Didnt pay much attention before. I feel in tune with things for once in a long time. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for sharing with us. That's great stuff.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Originally Posted by anattaboy 
You said it all! We are fortunate here in MO to have spring-like weather this past week. See any hawks?
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