ub3

A new level of ouchness has presented itself to me i made the detrimental choice of getting into a relationship with another addict not sure how long it lasted but good god almighty has it left me deeply wounded...she came on to me but i was singled out as being a predator player...and eventually was banned from the largest online recovery site...Which is very difficult to do...but ive been rejected my whole life partly of my own creation and partly because theres some not nice people in the world who seem to take an immediate disliking to me....Ive never been so low right now its strange i feel numb and cursed....today has been one of the worst days of my life i have been vomiting most of the day trying to keep down water as i have no food anyway....and then i had to make a 5 mile bike ride inorder to secure my place in detox this time next week it came out of nowhere and may very well save my life even though i crave for death...deep down i really dont want to live no more i gave up on myself years ago after a catastrophic fall from grace which ended me up homeless junkie in the gutter knowing that vulnerable things could get very much worse...is it going to get better? right now i have to live through this hell alone i feel like a condemned dead man walking

Dee74

I already posted to you in the Under 30 thread UB.

I believe there's always hope.
Don't judge the rest of your life on the way you feel today.

I don't believe a fall from grace is ever irreversible.
You're not alone either

In case you miss the other link here's some reading and some international crisis numbers if you need them

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

D

least

You will have better days, I promise. You won't always feel this way.

Hevyn

Hello ub3. I agree - our worst times never last forever. You must feel somewhat hopeful because you came here to talk about your emotions - that's a good sign. You aren't alone as long as you're posting here - we all understand the bad times and how they devastate us.

I hope you'll stay with us and keep posting. Everything can turn around, ub - you can rise above this.

Anna

I'm so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. You are not a condemned dead man. There is always hope, always. The fact you got a chance at detox is great. Go for it and put your heart into it.

sugarbear1

There IS hope!

I wish you well on your sober journey! AA is free, maybe find a few meetings to attend?

Love & hugs,
~SB

Living

Admitting you have hit rock bottom and drove your bike to a detox center is a great start. Use the resources available to you and make this time permanent. Easier said then done, but you can do it.

Keep posting!