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|01-04-2013, 11:24 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
"Firsts" without drinking
I put on the jazz music channel before and realized it is the first time I have done so while being sober. I used to enjoy it while drinking my wine. It is soothing and makes me feel like I am surrounded by people at a classy party lol This time, I get to enjoy it more because I won't drink to black out, eventually turn it off and get into some kind of trouble--drunk dialing, drunk emailing, pondering why I have to life in this miserable world. It's so interesting how I am coming to see things in a new way without a drink. I sit here and think of how I miss the feeling alcohol gave to me in the first 30 minutes of drinking it. Now that I have clarity I see that those 30 minutes were never really worth it. The consequences I now suffer from my last relapse are concrete but not life threatening. I have been given another chance and for that I am grateful. Today, I feel homesick for a future that hasn't revealed itself to me in any way as of yet. Falling in love, creating a cozy home, perhaps starting a family, making great memories. When I was drinking I led myself to believe I didn't WANT any of these things but inside I knew I COULDN'T have them if I continue on my isolated path. In these 24 hours, I am hopeful for my life because I am sober. I look forward to experiencing many more "firsts". This is a simple, quiet day but a good one
|The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to quitforme79 For This Useful Post:|
|01-04-2013, 11:29 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2011
Blog Entries: 5
I agree I love to dream and fantasize but I have to live in the real world today and make the most of it
Good luck, have a great day
Then there was never enough.....now there is plenty
May 15 2011
|01-04-2013, 12:19 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: San Diego
Simple and quiet sounds nice. Mine is filled with three loud and crazy kiddos, but I wouldn't trade it (well, maybe for an hour or so! )
Enjoy your day Quit!!!!
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway
|01-04-2013, 03:02 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don’t be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger. ~ Chuck Palahniuk
|01-04-2013, 03:17 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2012
Thanks for this post. It reminds me of something i said in therapy that my therapist thought was important enough to write down on one of his cards for me to carry around.
It is "I don't think I can improve myself the way I want to if I am drinking".
It was hard to say that, and even harder to actually realize that its true with every part of my being, but I think it is true.
|01-04-2013, 03:27 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2011
I love this part:
Today, I feel homesick for a future that hasn't revealed itself to me in any way as of yet.
I really relate to this! I have to be careful of not overthinking what "could have been" had I been in better shape the last ten years. Today is a new day.
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. -Carl Rogers
|01-04-2013, 06:09 PM||#10 (permalink)|
stepping on my way...
Join Date: Jan 2012
Thanks for this post, misterritter
I know I can never be where I am spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally at this point in my life with alcohol in the picture. I am liking me nowadays. I am blessed to have finally realized that and the fact that I have to work my a&& off for sobriety. Making sobriety my number one priority is the ONLY way I will stay sober. I thank God daily for AA, for me personally.
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