happycampers

How did I deal with STRESS this time around
Well, last night and today had MAJOR stress with this alcoholic guy I have mentioned here before. Crazy and unhinged, wearing hospital gear and only one shoe, he shows up at my door at 3o'clock in the morning with an IV in his arm and the machine to go with it !!! Needless to say, it has been a very stressful 12 hours or so ! Lots of other drama( has been going on for the past four weeks) but suffice to say that my nerves were reaching a breaking point and I thought , go phone one of your dealers and go buy a gram(of pot) to settle your nerves. So, I did. No one was there, so I got busy dealing with the situation- phoning his probation officer, etc. and then my dealer phones on the other line - I see, but don't answer . I finish my call with the PO , look over at his message that he can come by , I pause for a moment, and then I said NO to myself, I'm not letting this stress take me back down! I'm not giving up my soberity for these uncomfortable feelings, NO MATTER WHAT ! You can ride these out Bren, so just ride them out. They'll pass, you know they will and tomorrow, when you wake up, you'll be happy with yourself and stronger knowing you can weather these kinds of emotional fire storms instead of waking up full of regret and disappointment again that you caved and threw away your valued soberity ! So, I erased the number and moved on. So, today was another opportunity to grow instead of just reacting in old, unproductive ways, but I needed that moment to pause in the middle of it. That was KEY before the automatic reaction kicked in. I'll really have to practise and use that Pause button before I react to future tense stressors . One step at a time, one lesson at a time !!!

happycampers

The stress from this guy has been every week for the last four weeks ! Last weekend , I had to call the cops because he was intoxicated on mouthwash and was trying to bust my door down. It's been crazy, but hopefully, today I made it clear to his probation officer to keep him away from me and my building or I'll take a restraining order out on him and put him right back in jail ! A few months ago, he wanted me to put bail up for him to get him out of jail - I said NO !! So, yes, this stress has actually been building more and more for about six months in this recent go around with this very sick person, but I can't help him and he's having a hard time not leaning on me as he has in the past. Him, plus my DOC are both in the past, where they belong !

happycampers

Oh, one last thing - I LOVE SOBERITY !!! Life is SO much better with a clear mind and a light heart !

racingthoughts

Omg that sounds like a nightmare hc. I'd take whatever measures you can to get that parasite out of your life. Do you have a restraining order? I would absolutely look into one if you don't. It's AWESOME that you stayed sober though. If a guy with IVs coming out of his arm showed up to my door at 3 am, idk how I'd deal with it. Probably not in a good way. You were tried, and prevailed. It's kind of like the saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It's also awesome that you were able to break free from autopilot mode and not give in. I know with me, once I've seriously entertained the idea of smoking long enough, I'm doomed.

Stay strong!

happycampers

Thanks , RT ! I plan on staying strong , for good ! I love my clean and sober life way too much to go back to crapsville again ! Never again - only moving forward to bigger plans and new horizons ! I hope you're doing OK - how's it going for you, right now ?

racingthoughts

Okay. Still dealing with the after effects of my concussion, so I've been taking it easy most of the day. Went to outpatient in the morning and haven't really gotten off the couch since. I'm still pretty woozy and tired from it, so my mental clarity isn't the best atm. I did have a few negative "will I ever be happy" "will I ever be able to stay clean" thoughts earlier, but I tried to ignore them. Still trucking though.

Dee74

I'm really glad you made a good decision hc

D

happycampers

Thanks, Dee !
Sorry to hear about your concussion, Rt! Smart idea to take it easy today.
How can you counter those thoughts, Rt ?

wackybunny

Bummer about your stressful situation, Happy. Well done for getting through it. Stress is oddly not a bad trigger for me. Strange I know. I think it's because when I smoked a joint, whatever scary situation I was worried about seemed much more scary and unmanageable. I still kept smoking more and more to try to block the scary out but it never really worked. Once I got off weed, the thought of smoking my way through a tricky situation isn't that tempting. It doesn't really help, we know that, it's just some stupid old habit.

happycampers

It's just a stupid, old habit that doesn't help stressful situations is SO true , WB !
Much better to deal with challenges with a clear head - the results turn out way better ! How are you feeling these days, WB ? I'll bet you've got a nice, blossoming belly showing by now ! Exciting times ahead - I'm so happy for you and your partner ! Good to see you here !