wesley26

Evening everyone, just wanted to touch base, its saturday night here and once again I'm having to battle with my addiction and its cunning sneaky ways lol, I've been over 7 weeks clean now, its been really hard at times and tonight's one of them.... On the whole, lifes getting alot better...my anxiety and depression is fading... However I'm constantly battling my own thoughts.... I get almost overwhelming thoughts, what seems like rational logical thinking telling me its okay to have a drink, a spliff, a line or a bet... When these thoughts come they take over and tonight its hard in particular, its as I I'm convinced or the way I'm thinking is its wrong to quit these things and 'i have been blowing my addictions out of proportion and there was no need to quit'... These mind battles are so hard for the real Wesley to win, because the addictive thoughts I have are so logical and convincing 😞

Does anyone else get this type of thing? Those futher on in there recovery, does it get easier to win these battles?

Thanks for listening everyone x

Mel12

Hi Wesley - good work on the seven weeks, which I hope to reach soon. To answer your question, I have the same mind battles; whether they will get easier to manage is something I will no doubt find out with more time under my belt.

When I smoke, it literally feels like I am dying of COPD when I do a standard workout that I previously found tolerable. Hence to counteract my mind battles it helps for me to have a mind picture of a black lung and someone gasping with COPD. I feel grateful that I have been able to maintain (rather than abandon) my interest in sports, because it is helping me win some of the mind battles in this way.

In short, at the moment to win mind battles I am using counteracting thoughts that fit the specifics of my daily routine, and it seems to be working so far.

Mel

wackybunny

I found that it definitely got easier to win the battles against the AV. The "it's not so bad, you're blowing the addiction out of proportion" argument was a good old standard for my AV too. One of many. With practice, it started to become second nature to ignore the AV and to move along with the next thought. Eventually the AV shrivelled into a tiny and insignificant voice only to be heard faintly in the distance now and then.

Dee74

I think everyone has those thoughts Wesley. There's actually a technique called AVRT (Addictive Vocie Recognition Technique) which is designed to help us recognise that voice and deal with its BS.

You can google 'Rational Recovery' for more info

basically the idea I can drink or smoke again without losing myself and the life I've built up is nonsense. I've accepted the need for change, and my life is immeasurably better now than when I quit 8 years ago.

don't talk yourself out of it wesley - you're heading in the right direction and doing great

wesley26

Still keeping strong guys! Its friday here in wet old England, I've felt strong this week, and lifes been a joy, today is the first friday since being clean from everything that I've not feared the weekend.... I'm actually excited to go shopping, go cycling, go to the gym, see my family.... The pleasure the world has to offer is slowly returning and although I'm nervous as always and pray I have the strength to continue my recovery I'm excited to discover the new me, discover how to love family and friends again without the insidious guise of weed cocaine gambling and drink!

Peace out, your friend across the water

happycampers

That's SO awesome to hear, Wesley ! What a great feeling, isn't it ! I 've had those days too where you think you're almost reborn in a way. Today, I having a crappy day today - emotions are all over the map, almost like waves coming in , pounding on my brain. Not fun, but I just keep telling myself that's part of the healing and more good days will happen than bad with time, but til then, I savour those "up" days. It truly is a re-learning for me - how to handle all the emotions at times instead of running to hide or numb, learning how to "ground" myself when the waves come, learning how not to run and hide , but to sit and go through. I'm also having to figure out the boredom thing - like tonight, I can't figure out what I can do . Doesn't help that the brain doesn't seem to be functioning well today. Oh well, all part of the healing process, I guess. I think I'll go meditate now - gee, I just came up with something just from responding to you, Wesley. Sorry for high jacking your thread with my current stuff.I should have went to my own thread, but once I posted to you, this stuff just came out, so it must have wanted to get out. Thank you for that! Have a super weekend Wesley and great to hear your news !

wackybunny

Really happy for you Wesley! Makes me feel almost teary.

And sorry you're having a tough day, Happy. Sounds like you have a handle on it. I don't get bored a whole lot any more. It might be because I got used to not doing as much when my back was out for years. Now just being pain free and generally active is enough. Weed didn't make me more or less bored (which i only realized once I quit). I think it was my AV telling me it helped with boredom. In fact, I think my AV made me bored in the first place, so it could tell me that weed would help.

happycampers

Yes, things have improved already ! I meditated after my post , made supper for myself and watched a pretty entertaining movie, so all is well. I had a pretty crazy day and got really anguish , so went grocery shopping to calm down the system- I hate clothes shopping, but I Love grocery shopping. It distracts me, changes my focus and I start thinking of good meals, recipes, etc. It worked . Then I got home and I think my AV figured it would try the old " it's Friday night and you're sitting here all by yourself -maybe you should go get some fun " if you know what I mean. That sneaky AV, but the Friday night excuse didn't work . Now, I'm off to bed clearheaded , relaxed and thankful for both ! Thanks ,WB. Let's keep her going , Wesley.

wesley26

Cheers guys, your words and support are great for my strength... Really happy you pulled out of your low mood happycampers ����.... Lol thought today would be good great however my AV is shouting from the roofs today ��... Not letting this mother ****** win though ��

happycampers

That' s right, Wesley -Kick it's butt , then kick to the side of the road, and each we kick it's butt , it won't be so inclined to continue chattering in our heads to do it's bidding for it! NOT happening !

wackybunny

No listening to that evil old AV! It'll tell you anything to get you to smoke. The stories mine told me.... haha.