Astro

If you're not comfortable at one meeting then find one that feels right to you, I'm glad to hear you're trying.

Seren

How is the good fight today, dsmaxis? I hope you've been able to make it to your favorite meet by now!

dsmaxis10

I took my medication and drank twenty minutes later. I drank eight 12 oz ipas ale in an hour then two more over an hour. Then puked my brains out I'm scared I'm back to where I was eight years ago but worse. Let me tell you how I almost hit two cars driving to get more I drink alone and it was last night I have no recall how bad it was I have no fear I want to drink again I've to some extent lost the power of choice. If I drink like I did again it's the ER institutionalized and Sacred Heart for a year. I went to three day meetings yesterday and still drank insanely I'm a real alcoholic schizophrenic type.

Astro

Nobody is hopeless maxis, if we can post here on SR then I believe we still have the power of choice, but we have to desperately want sobriety.

I hope you'll go to meetings today and consider reaching out for help. When I wanted to drink I ran to meetings for a safe place where I could be away from the temptation and to be around "my people".

dsmaxis10

I went to a 7:00 am meeting but the person with the key didn't show up I waited until 7:30 am. Gonna go to a 10:30 am meeting . Got to drop my mom off at alanon at ten . So I"ll be late but I'm going and I'll probaly go to three meetings today.

Astro

One of the Clubs I attend meetings at has 7-9 meetings per day on average. There were days in early sobriety I'd be there all day. It felt very safe and I never felt alone.

dsmaxis10

Day 3 getting a sponsor Monday haven't had one in 2 1/2 years. Last time I got a sponsor I stayed sober four months then. Well I told him I don't have to do anything to stay sober but believe in God. One two weeks later I relapsed and now I haven't been able to get a week.

August252015

Glad you are still here.

Sounds like getting a new sponsor and following what he tells you to do exactly might be the best idea.

You can do it.

Astro

Being honest with others in recovery and continuing to try is forward progress. Don't stop!

dsmaxis10

I've always been honest about my sobriety date I'm getting a home group also. I'm going to AA because I need unity my first sponsor taught me to hate the fellowship. God I set aside everything I think I know about me these steps AA my disease and mostly you Lord for a new experience with all of it I know I said it wrong but thats what I'm doing.And I'm going because it's the last house on the block hlf measures availed us nothing.

Dee74

Keep moving forward dsmaxis.

D

darkling

Me too. It got to where I could only drink 2 draws on a Friday night and maybe I'd be well enough to go to work Monday. But hey! I was a cheap drink/date!

Didn't realize til years into sobriety that what was happening was that my liver was quite literally shutting down.

Best wishes dsmaxis!