bookmaven

So I did the lead at my meeting. It went ok. Some people didn't agree with what I had to say, so my OCD is totally going crazy. I lead with the saying "take what you need and leave the rest" because of my experience with someone trying to tell me I wasn't sober because I'm "still taking pills" and I said that if I had listened to that person I'd be drunk or dead. My adrenaline is still pumping even though it was over an hour ago. They twisted my words around into "take what you *want* and leave the rest" and then talked about how their sponsors told them to do things they didn't want to do that turned out for the better. I'm in tears.

The consequences of me discontinuing my psych meds would be that my anxiety, OCD, and depression would become unbearable. I would probably get fired from my job due to being late all the time (from constantly checking things in the house before I'm able to leave, or going back to check if I locked the door or what ever I'm obsessing over that day). I'd become so depressed that I'd be thinking about suicide or praying for death. Then I'd feel terribly guilty for thinking like that and to alleviate the pain I'd use drugs or alcohol. And then I'd feel so much guilt and shame that I couldn't live sober that I would either kill myself or end up in the loony bin or prison.

I'm so tired of people telling me "just be happy" or "think positive" I'm ready to explode!

There are scientifically proven physical differences in an OCD brain compared to a "normal" brain as well as a chemical imbalance. Not taking my meds is not an option!

I try to educate people about what is myth and reality and all I get in return is a kick in the teeth.

I wish I owned a punching bag!

Dee74

give them this pamphlet

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-11_...ersMedDrug.pdf
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

D

bookmaven

Thank you D, I've never seen that pamphlet before. I took the time to read through all of it, and it makes me curious as to why groups in my area don't have copies of it available to newcomers.

I feel proud of myself for speaking up, even though I had an emotional breakdown afterward.

Another learning experience.

Dee74

I'm not actually an AAer so I'm not sure why not either bookmaven.

D

sleepie

That's awful bookmaven, sorry you had that experience. There must have been someone in the crowd who is similar and afraid to say anything. Actually that sounds really ignorant and would they accuse someone who took something for their physical health like a blood pressure med or something? Not likely.

Don't drive yourself nuts about it, they are wrong.

Recovery999

I have 11 years and 10 months and I'm on medication for depression. Quite frankly, anyone who thinks I'm not sober because of this can kiss my backside. I'm taking the meds according to what the MD told me. Without them, I can't function. I know a lot of people in AA on medication. It's no one else's business.

NYCDoglvr

I'm sober over two decades and throughout that time have been taking anti-depressants. AA's own literature says "nobody should play doctor" or ever offer medical advice. I never talk about psych meds during meetings, it is inappropriate and I don't want unsolicited advice. My sponsor knows I take medication and it's no one else's business. It's a separate disease and not related to recovery.

I disagree with saying "take what you want...........". When leading the meeting we should only follow AA guidelines. This is one reason that most meetings have scripts for chairman and secretary to read.

bookmaven

Look guys, you're totally missing the point.

Please stop responding to this thread.

It's over and I was simply upset and venting. This is not a debate. My feelings are not up for negotiation or discussion.

NYCDoglvr

They why are you posting on a public forum???

silentrun

Good for you. When you speak up it is not always to change anyone's mind but so say to others like you "here I am".

greens

You're right book maven -Noone else should be giving you advice on your Dr prescribed medication besides you r dr!! unfortunately, some people are misinformed about invisible illnesses and it can be quite aggravating, sometimes itb feels easier to keep it to myself then to bring it up to people. Where I am forced to explain myself to someone who doesn't understand my situation. I really enjoyed your post, thank you.
explain myself to people

JaneLane

I take meds and absolutely consider myself sober. Anyone that disagrees with that falls into my "ignore" category in my mind!

As Greens said, some people are misinformed and to be honest it's not your job to educate people, you just need to help yourself :-)

I take medication and also do the positive vibes, happy thoughts etc because it works for me. I certinly wouldn't push my hippie-ways on anyone else.

SoberCAH

Congrats on doing your lead, bookmaven.

I wouldn't give a second thought to what some of these people apparently said.

You sound like you are doing very well with your recovery.

bookmaven

So since I relapsed about a week ago I've been extra diligent in making sure I take my meds as I'm supposed to.

I was on my way to a meeting and for some reason I went to a totally different meeting than what I originally planned on and it was the one where I'd been made to feel like I was failing in sobriety because I take medicine for OCD and Major Depressive Disorder.

Mysterious how the universe works because the very first thing that was said at the podium was that they had a vote and decided to stop saying that thing about "mind and mood altering substances" (the reason I didn't like that meeting for all this time because to me that includes my psych meds). They changed it to "consecutive days of sobriety". I almost started crying.

Thank you HP, I really needed to hear that! I am really shocked by this and pleased because I need lots of support IRL right now.

joecee

You just have to get copies of the pamphlets from your home service area office, or the headquarters in New York City. There is a mountain of approved literature that is for sale at cost. Not to sure what taking the lead means unless you were the first to share which can be hard and nerve racking. Meetings shouldnt be about conflict, should be about sharing the common info for the common problem that is why we need sponsors as guides and take whats said in meetings with a grain of salt because most of whats said as far as story lines go is mostly made up! The other stuff depending on makeup of meeting can be hogwash as well. Best to find the token oldtimers meeting in the area and hang with those boys

johnnn10

For the sake of health cautions we have to do yoga regularly.
--------------------

SoberCAH

The AA program transcends any particular attendees and an AA meeting.

I don't discuss medications in meetings, because they don't relate to the AA program.

Nor do I equate the AA program with any one person (including an oldtimer) or group within a meeting, clubhouse, etc.

I hope to pick up my 27 year AA chip next month, and I owe my recovery to God and to AA (which I regard as an instrument of God).

Some meetings I go to seem to have better recovery than others.

Keep it up, book.

SoberAlky

I had to discontinue a relationship with a sponsor due to his closed-mindedness about my psych medications. As of the past few years though, as more people have come into AA (myself included) through treatment centers, this "old school" mentality of medication being "substituting one addiction for another" seems to be diminishing. The last time someone basically told me not to rely on medicine and psychotherapy I just came back at them and told them, "who do you think gets on my a-- about going to meetings???" AA is just but one component of recovery.

NYCDoglvr

I've been sober 24 years and I never talk meds at meetings, it isn't appropriate.