Just Want Some Suggestions...
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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Just Want Some Suggestions...
I'm fraught with worries about my mother, her drinking and living alone, and some personal stuff too. I know it's possible to put these aside and be happy in spite of the situation so what have some of you done to try and achieve this?
Last edited by Rattler; 08-08-2014 at 06:14 AM. Reason: Accidentally posted before finishing.
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Once you see that there's not much control you have over another person's actions, no matter how much you care, you can then find a bit of acceptance and peace. It's tricky when dealing with an addict... they will pull you under if you allow it. Only you can hand away your peace of mind to that person. It's never worth it.
On some level, you'll need to let her go... detach. It sounds cold but it is about self-preservation.
On some level, you'll need to let her go... detach. It sounds cold but it is about self-preservation.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 21
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Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
My mother died from her addictions and it was a struggle during my twenties, determining how much I could help her while living my own life with some peace of mind. You can make suggestions but that's about all... I helped her with some basic necessities here and there. I visited her but not very often. It was hard to watch. It seemed she was a bottomless pit. Utterly soul crushing experience.
I went on with my life and did the best I could... I graduated college, worked, moved to two different cities, bought a house... all the while drinking. When I was 32 I'd finally come to a breaking point with my mother. I cut off all contact. She died eight months later. I blamed myself for a while. Though I know she would have self-destructed anyway.
Her death finally let me have some peace. I got sober last year and plan to remain sober.
I do hope you can find some peace while your mom is still living.
I went on with my life and did the best I could... I graduated college, worked, moved to two different cities, bought a house... all the while drinking. When I was 32 I'd finally come to a breaking point with my mother. I cut off all contact. She died eight months later. I blamed myself for a while. Though I know she would have self-destructed anyway.
Her death finally let me have some peace. I got sober last year and plan to remain sober.
I do hope you can find some peace while your mom is still living.
I had to surrender and make peace with myself over my dad's alcoholism, realising that all adults make decisions and have to accept the consequences of those decisions, looking in on an addiction can be tough, but only the addict can make the decision to change.
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