hk1993

Tomorrow my boyfriend wants me to come to a counseling session at his rehab for the two of us. I'm not sure that I want to go. We've been through a lot and he's already made counseling sessions for us when he goes to sober living. One of the biggest reasons I do not want to go is he's in rehab in chicagos worst neighborhood and I would have to drive there all alone. Plus I'm not ready to talk about everything quite yet. But I feel like I'm being selfish if I don't go, like I'm being un supportive which isn't the case at all I would just like to do a session when I'm ready and in a more relaxed environment. Should I just stop being scared and go or tell him I'm not comfortable coming yet?

ladyscribbler

You're allowed to do what's best and safest for yourself. The world does not revolve around this man and neither should your relationship. Being supportive is not the same thing as being at someone's beck and call. The best way to support someone else's recovery is to take care of yourself. If there's a Naranon or Alanon meeting available to you tomorrow in a safer neighborhood, that is a great way to support his recovery and begin your own healing.

totfit

I have mixed emotions about participation in rehab counseling sessions unless you are a spouse of other family member. Often the person in rehab may want a special other to participate to make them feel better for the wrongs they have done. They may have good intentions, but the reality is that sometimes the best lesson for them is that their "recovery" depends solely on themselves and what they do. Certainly you can be supportive, but the best support is sometimes from a distance. Either they will embrace recovery or not and it should be independent of what you do. If on the other hand you think the counseling session would benefit you, then go. Otherwise just say that you want to be supportive, but you are not comfortable going at this time.