Yippie Ki Yay, Mother....
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Yippie Ki Yay, Mother....
So, we've been separated for a month now. ExAH has been living with a friend who is (true story) autistic, but still holds a job as the school janitor & has for years, is clean, & basically is quiet & keeps to himself. I had hoped possibly that influence would rub off on AH.
HAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. NOPE! Stopped by every day this week with the baby so that exAH could see him. And at completely different times each day. As far as I knew, exAH was still unemployed & had just gotten over a bad stomach virus, and to boot, his car needs a rear hub assembly replaced & isn't insured. So he should have, at least one of those times, been home.
He was not. I finally knocked on the door yesterday, & his janitor friend told me that he hasn't seen nor heard from exAH in at least 3 days. Today is Friday, making it at least 4 days since he's been seen. His friend said the only thing he recalls is exAH saying something days ago about driving a random person to a town FOUR HOURS down the coast away.
What's a girl to do?
THIS girl called the trooper outpost in that town to report exAH as an uninsured driver/missing, AND the police & troopers in our home town to report the same thing. Unfortunately for exAH, his car is registered in MY name, so they're taking it quite seriously & treating the car as stolen property.
Divorce papers are being refiled with some amendments, because I'm meeting with a girlfriend who is a family law paralegal this weekend to make sure it's iron-clad.
GLOVES.
OFF.
Happy Friday, kids.
HAHAHA. HAHAHAHA. NOPE! Stopped by every day this week with the baby so that exAH could see him. And at completely different times each day. As far as I knew, exAH was still unemployed & had just gotten over a bad stomach virus, and to boot, his car needs a rear hub assembly replaced & isn't insured. So he should have, at least one of those times, been home.
He was not. I finally knocked on the door yesterday, & his janitor friend told me that he hasn't seen nor heard from exAH in at least 3 days. Today is Friday, making it at least 4 days since he's been seen. His friend said the only thing he recalls is exAH saying something days ago about driving a random person to a town FOUR HOURS down the coast away.
What's a girl to do?
THIS girl called the trooper outpost in that town to report exAH as an uninsured driver/missing, AND the police & troopers in our home town to report the same thing. Unfortunately for exAH, his car is registered in MY name, so they're taking it quite seriously & treating the car as stolen property.
Divorce papers are being refiled with some amendments, because I'm meeting with a girlfriend who is a family law paralegal this weekend to make sure it's iron-clad.
GLOVES.
OFF.
Happy Friday, kids.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
I saw no need for you to say that the person your xah lives with is autistic, and yet is capable of leading a full life. My son suffers from autism. It isn't really socially acceptable in special needs circles to say "autistic" It doesn't define someone. If AHs roommate was colorblind, also a high functioning disability, would you have felt the need to mention it?
As for XAH,
I'm so glad that the car is reported as stolen and that you have registered in your name. That was a very smart move. Separation and divorce is so difficult and there is so much fine print in the process. I'm glad that you have friends there to support you with the legal aspects of that.
I can relate that you were hoping that being around a positive person would influence your XAH in the right direction. I think we all have that hope sometimes. The hard truth though is that this is not often the case with addiction. It's an inside job. I'm sorry that he's chosen this path. Stay strong. It will all be over in due time and it will feel so much better.
Hugs!
As for XAH,
I'm so glad that the car is reported as stolen and that you have registered in your name. That was a very smart move. Separation and divorce is so difficult and there is so much fine print in the process. I'm glad that you have friends there to support you with the legal aspects of that.
I can relate that you were hoping that being around a positive person would influence your XAH in the right direction. I think we all have that hope sometimes. The hard truth though is that this is not often the case with addiction. It's an inside job. I'm sorry that he's chosen this path. Stay strong. It will all be over in due time and it will feel so much better.
Hugs!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
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Sorry if ysing the term autistic offended. I meant it as more of an example of how this person is fully capable & leading a good, productive, full life, while my exAH is somehow just...not even able to aim himself in that direction. To me, it's pretty indicative of how our particular obstacles shouldn't define us OR keep us from doing whatever it we dream of doing...it just makes me really sad that that person's good influence & ability to overcome his obstacles hasn't rubbed off on AH.
Still nothing, AH's phone is still off & he is nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, up here in Alaska, if you were raised here with any sort of rural upbringing, if you don't want ot be found, you won't be. I suspect that's what's going on, but it still doesn't make it OK for him to go off the grid for his own selfish reasons.
Still nothing, AH's phone is still off & he is nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, up here in Alaska, if you were raised here with any sort of rural upbringing, if you don't want ot be found, you won't be. I suspect that's what's going on, but it still doesn't make it OK for him to go off the grid for his own selfish reasons.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
No offense taken! I'm sorry that my tone was a little sharp.
It's amazing isn't it that a person with a mental delay like autism can cope with life on life's terms, so why can't an addict.
I read the thread again and you are totally right. It takes away excuses.
I've never been to Alaska, but if my AH could disappear in the city then I can only imagine how much easier it is to do in the country. Hugs to you once again. It seems like he has made his decisions. You have to decide where to go from here
It's amazing isn't it that a person with a mental delay like autism can cope with life on life's terms, so why can't an addict.
I read the thread again and you are totally right. It takes away excuses.
I've never been to Alaska, but if my AH could disappear in the city then I can only imagine how much easier it is to do in the country. Hugs to you once again. It seems like he has made his decisions. You have to decide where to go from here
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Well, the errant exAH "found" himself. He called me from his own cell phone this morning (after I had put minutes on it AGAIN, out of my own pocket). According to him, he didn't go clear down the coast as was thought because "he was going to but it didn't work out".
He has been in the next town over, 15mins away, all week long because...
"He didn't feel like staying" with his friend anymore, "I am always mad at him" and "he didn't feel like talking to" anyone.
Just further proof of the fact that he is very likely back on drugs & is the most selfish person ever.
In a twist of hilarious fate, in case anyone else does this:
Did you know that if you report someone as missing, the only person besides the police who can completely cancel that missing person's report IS the missing person?
Yeah.
ExAH had to call the police dispatch line & report that HE "found" himself".
BAAAAHAHAHA.
He has been in the next town over, 15mins away, all week long because...
"He didn't feel like staying" with his friend anymore, "I am always mad at him" and "he didn't feel like talking to" anyone.
Just further proof of the fact that he is very likely back on drugs & is the most selfish person ever.
In a twist of hilarious fate, in case anyone else does this:
Did you know that if you report someone as missing, the only person besides the police who can completely cancel that missing person's report IS the missing person?
Yeah.
ExAH had to call the police dispatch line & report that HE "found" himself".
BAAAAHAHAHA.
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is the most selfish person ever.
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