Fate2012

I hope you and your child are safe.
I wanted to ask you about Suboxone. My AH has been taking that for over a year. I know he has tapered off some on the dosage but still takes it 1-2 a day (as far as I know) b/c we are separated. I know you can't get high taking opiates when on suboxone but not sure about other drugs.
Did the suboxone completely change your AH? Or was it a combination of drugs? Sorry, I'm not trying to pry just trying to figure out about my AH and how things went wrong so fast.

mnh1982

Hey there-I really don't know, to be honest, because I haven't been with him while he's been actively using. We didn't get together until he had already been on Suboxone for at least a year.

Additionally, it's really hard to tell how JUST Suboxone alone affects him because when we got together, he was still smoking pot regularly (with my knowledge, I guess I should say...) and smoking cigarettes. And of course drinking as much, as heavily as he wanted to.

Since we've been together, he's quit smoking cigarettes. He claimed he had stopped smoking pot but clearly, based on this thread, that's not totally true. And his drinking varies. Right now, for example, THAT I KNOW OF, he's not drinking. However, there have also been times that I've caught him "sharing" his meds with his brother, so he was taking 1/2 the prescribed dose that he should have been. It's possible that at times, he hasn't been taking the Suboxone at all.

Long story short, my husband is a good example of how Suboxone can keep someone from actively using heroin, but NOT a good example of how it can keep someone from using full stop. Nor is he a good example of what someone dedicated to staying clean & sober can be, even if they do 'need' the Suboxone to temper their primary addiction.

I would recommend talking to a doctor as well as inquiring about IRL therapy/counseling groups for recovering addicts. Remember that everything affects everyone differently, but most of all, that ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING. If your SO wants to work towards active recovery, he or she will. Unfortunately my husband has that "at least it's not heroin" attitude...a lot...about most things, so abstaining from drinking, not smoking pot, etc have not been things he's committed to doing.

mnh1982

Hi All.
We're OK.
AH stayed gone until Friday...he was sober when he returned & has been sober since.
He & his father have since fixed my car, so I can now pack up my baby & drive us away from him if need be. My Brother the Cop is aware of the whole situation & is just a phone call away.

I am wrestling so hard with this you guys...AH, like most (all?) addict parents, loves our son more than anything, obviously up to & including himself. But his attitude, now that I'm not backing down & accepting his half-assed apology, is that "he's an adult & he should be able to smoke pot once in a while."
This is also his family's attitude...Hmmm, enablers much??

Anyway, I guess this is just me letting everyone know we're OK...Little Baby is happy as can be & healthy. And as some have mentioned, I do not feel threatened physically by AH & so should probably spend a little time on a exit strategy as well as getting all the paperwork & ducks in a row to make sure he can't dig his heels in when asked to leave our apartment.

Thanks for checking in on us

zoso77

Tell him if that's what he wants, that's fine.

Then tell him that you and your son will be leaving to stay at your brother's.

Life's full of little choices, and responsible adults recognize that those little choices have consequences. Addicts operate in a realm where they believe there should be no consequences for what they do.

So, if he wants to smoke pot, the price he pays is you're leaving.

And as far as his family goes, you can allow them the right to be wrong.