Does sociopathy and drug abuse go hand in hand?

Old 07-10-2011, 10:39 AM
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I sure do agree with your final paragraph. When exabf was in my life I went through a stage of trying to figure out what was wrong with him, I forgot to try and figure out what was wrong with me.

Then the light bulb finally went on in my head....what was I doing? He had been to many therapist, physics and was in the mental ward several times, none of the doctors came up with a definate conclusion. I decided what difference did it make anyway? The bottom line was that I wanted him out of my life and that was my turning point. I got rid of him and started working my recovery.

And the rest as they say....is history!
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Old 07-10-2011, 08:04 PM
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I see the lack of legit life plan/parasitic lifestyle and the change image to avoid prosecution or persecution I guess amongst family and friends.

Dumb butt was getting free advice from a lawyer friend but was NOT totally honest and is now in deep crap. And is currently thinking with holding information from his current lawyer. But he is OBSESSED with image or how people percieve him putting all effort into a 'show'.
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Old 07-12-2011, 05:21 AM
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Timely thread for me; have been wondering about characteristics of this illness and the information is helpful. A family member recently told me she thinks AS is a sociopath; I listened and considered her point. However, according to mental health and D&A professionals we've talked to in recent years, a diagnosis for a mental health disorder cannot be made until he is free and clear of substances.

Even so, prior to and during his time of substance abuse, he had struggles. Who can say what was going on with him -- docs were trying meds for ADHD, depression, anxiety -- not much success with those.
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Old 10-12-2015, 07:03 AM
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My Ex-Husband to a T

After being in what I thought was a very loving and respectful relationship for 3 years, the cracks began to show. He was drinking heavily, and using drugs. The drug abuse increased to all day, every day. He was prone to outbursts of rage, and was seldom home. I discovered that he had been having an affair since two weeks into our marriage. Then I discovered more affairs, and that he was using prostitutes, although we attended church every week. He was sexually compulsive, and sometimes watched porn for 6 to 8 hours straight. He secretly gambled himself into $30,000 debt. I supported him, while he used my home as a Bed and Breakfast. He was earning money by running a barely legal online scam. I tried everything that I could to get him to go for counselling. Eventually, I threw him out, and he divorced me rather than get help. According to him, it was all my fault. My life was totally in ruins. I has devastated, but within a few months, he found another victim, bought her $7,000 ring (although he was unemployed), and told me that he could not be with me anymore because I don't trust him. He accidently dropped his phone next to my mailbox. The phone history showed that he was already cheating on his new fiance with hookers and other women. I called him out on it, and he became enraged. I realize that he seldom speaks the truth. He either tells me what he thinks I want to hear, says something to manipulate the situation. I no longer have anything to do with him. There is no point. His pattern of behavior matches the description in the original post of this thread exactly.
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Old 10-12-2015, 11:09 AM
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Every one of these describes my ex-husband, who is an alcoholic and addict (he's still using).

Only a couple of these mildly relate to my fiancé while he's using. Otherwise, when he's sober, I don't see any of these traits in him. And likewise, I could have said the same for me...some of these traits mildly described me while I was using, but none of these traits fit me now that I have been sober for years.
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Old 10-13-2015, 05:23 PM
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Addicts can be anything. But they always are people you really want nothing to so with. Very sad, but true. It is very hard to let go.
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Old 01-03-2017, 10:46 AM
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Fits my ex to a T

I have researched and researched and researched again. My sons AF or psychopath fits all those Racaple78 mentioned. I keep trying to figure out what came first, like was mentioned.. the chicken or the egg. I suppose I will never know. Its comforting to read that many of you have questioned this and feel that when they are sober they don't show those traits or behaviors.. but how do you honestly know they are sober?? Mine was in prison for 2 years and within a week, I know he was using cocaine. I sometimes think that he must have been 'the most' clean right after getting out.. but with as many people as he knows, I would not be surprised if he was able to get drugs in jail so how do I know how 'clean' he really was. I have a 9 month old with him and he is back in prison and has another girl pregnant due this month. Sick, huh? He left me and my son and got another girl pregnant. I am heartbroken. No research does me any real good. As an 'anon' its hard for me to imagine that he is inherently bad...
Here's to my own recovery...may it allow me freedom from my own empathic entrapment.
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Old 01-03-2017, 11:21 AM
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Inversely, I'm thinking users can mutate into using these traits as part of living easier with themselves while using, ie., your list can be symptoms of using drugs.
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Old 01-03-2017, 11:23 AM
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boy kidoo that hit my Eddie Lee right on the head... yep. you have that correct...

Originally Posted by racaple78 View Post
I have been online and read some of the symptoms of sociopaths, and found this to be very revealing of my ex-husband. Here are the general symptoms:

* Glibness and Superficial Charm

* Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

* Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

* Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

* Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

* Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

* Incapacity for Love

* Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

* Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

* Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

* Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

* Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

* Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

* Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

* Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

I have noted that while my husband has an addiction to both opiates and heroin, his basic behavior has followed a lot of the listings above. Just curious, has anyone else come across this in their addicted loved ones?
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Old 01-04-2017, 07:14 AM
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I recently read "Sociopath next door" book.. Because I believe my ex was one (either sociopath or narcist).

I first started to research in his behavior when he was using drugs (benzos, alcohol, cocaine mostly). But even when sober he shows certain signs. Perhaps not sociopath fully but he has some common characteristics.

Definitely interesting to read.
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Old 01-04-2017, 07:33 AM
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Hi Tan and all.. I have done some research into family background.. of my hubby's DNA.... sorry all. but it carries forward.. I don't care what they say... can put my finger on one after another... and mostly from one side of the family then the other... sorry... and in my back ground.. oh why not.. but at least I have my Mom to help keep us balanced.. black/white good/bad.. you have to have both to keep a balance.. sorry.. but you have to know what to look at and watch for.. once in awhile I will look my love of my life in the eye and say Try that again.. and he can not look at me to answer.. or gets very defensive.. yep.. know when he has done something before it can hit us in the head.... but once in awhile .. he shows up with black and blues and I know he has gone the other way faster then I can stop him....
Moms and Dads.. you can not stop this .. it will happen one way or the other.. what can we do.. Tough Love... sometimes helps... Ed realized when he met me I had 3 kids and an army of their young friends in back of me.. he had to give up one life style to keep me.. last night he rolled over and said he would be nothing but in the grave if not for me.... I will hold that moment in time for a very very very long time... yep... I know he loves me.. but his own personal nature will over rule all good sense 90% of the time... ekekkekekekke.....
at least he is now over 60 and most of the girl friends have gone under ground.. sorry ladies.. he used you and tossed you like used tissue paper. back in the day.. his felony background will drive him nuts until he is no more.. he was a dumb kid and his good side tried to keep him out of trouble but the dark side.. had control.. we went before some judges a few years ago. for him to be a bartender for a football game.. they were not going to give him the lic for the season.. Mrs. R.. why should we.. I got up and did a pace in front of the 6 men that would make that granting.. Kids If he screws up even for a breath of time.. I will kick his ass before you have a chance to hear of it.. and by the way... I leaned into each of them in turn.. you screw up and I find out about it and this old Blue Star Army Strong Mom will kick your ass too.. took less then 2 minutes. Granted under the care of Mrs. R.. God Help you and Us.. ahahhaaha.. all of the Judges came to our stand for all 8 of the games... Ed was cooking his butt off.. I was pour beer and collecting the funds.... Judge handed his ID to his 20 year old Grand son.. I called a cop and the Judge had to do some tall explaining for and hour. came back and asked me not to tell his wife... kiddo you are out of luck .. guess who is standing in back of you.. shook my finger at him... tales tall tales.. you can't do that to a good MOM... MOMMA or Military MOMS.. ahahahahah
will it get better.. God helping me ... I keep praying... I saved my son the Moose... or he would have ended up on the s treet.... my hubby.. I am the Angel that is never far away.. prayers all and love and hope .. never loose hope... a Mom a Wife a Good Daughter..
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Old 01-04-2017, 07:48 AM
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I don't know about the sociopath label, but in my experience, addicts are seriously narcissistic. It's all about them?
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Old 01-04-2017, 07:54 AM
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I have always wondered just ... why...addicts are seriously narcissistic. It's all about them? ....... clothes shoes hair makeup cars money..money makes him crazy no kidding... even a win at the casino and he will flash it like a little kid to every one... ... maybe they just need the attention all the time and it can never stop.. and they get bored easy.. very very easy.. the most upsetting part of my life is trying to keep him busy and safe.. all the time....
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Old 01-04-2017, 08:04 AM
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My alcoholic brother, who has nothing, and lives with my mother, is always defensive, always justifying his existence. Which has nothing to do with reality, btw. He would be living on the streets if it weren't for her, as I do not give a rat's a$$. But he has it built up in his head that she cannot survive without him. This is SO not true. He does nothing but leech off her and drink. Total waste of space.
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Old 01-04-2017, 10:51 AM
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My XAH fits all of these characteristics. I believe the alcoholism is secondary to the mental illness, but it does not really matter, he has both.
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Old 01-07-2017, 02:06 PM
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Where did this post come from? The last comment was in 2011? In any case, it's a very interesting one, so thanks for its revival!

OOOPS, nevermind, I didn't see the recent comments!
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