What is wrong with me!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: My mind wanders a lot, but I try to stay in the present.
Posts: 1,007
Happy Birthday, Butterfly!
I hope you decide to go out and have a great time. But, if for some reason the tears creep in while you're out and about, just remember to crank up the Lesley Gore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4
I hope you decide to go out and have a great time. But, if for some reason the tears creep in while you're out and about, just remember to crank up the Lesley Gore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Southeastern Michigan
Posts: 137
Happy birthday!!! Look at all you have ahead of you--I'm envious!! My 40s were some of my best years--even living WITH AH--but you'll be able to chart your own course--how exciting! After 40, I think we get more comfortable with ourselves, we know what we want, and we're not ashamed to ask for it.
I really hope you can enjoy your day--it sounds like a lot of people want to help you celebrate!!
I really hope you can enjoy your day--it sounds like a lot of people want to help you celebrate!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 786
Happy birthday! My XAH left for his affair when I was 38...divorced at 39 and moved my boys across the country to go "home"...hit 40 still in a depressed daze and didn't even think about having a celebration. Some friends coordinated one for me and I went even though my heart wasn't in it. It was so touching to be with people who CARED...and just wanted to celebrate ME...
Let yourself embrace and absorb that!
I'm almost 42 now and life is incredible and amazing. Worlds apart in what now seems like mere moments that have passed.
Happy birthday. Enjoy the moments you can, and make sure at some point you look in the mirror and smile at the wonderful you.
Let yourself embrace and absorb that!
I'm almost 42 now and life is incredible and amazing. Worlds apart in what now seems like mere moments that have passed.
Happy birthday. Enjoy the moments you can, and make sure at some point you look in the mirror and smile at the wonderful you.
Baby Steps
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,689
Thank you all so much. I did go and I did have a great night it was so much fun. I had a few drinks and I didn't feel uncomfortable I felt relaxed and it was helped by the great company people I trust and the relaxed atmosphere and not being around a load of drunk people also helped. We went to a Cabernet super club lots of drag queen acts and one of them had everyone in the club sing happy birthday to me, so embarrassing but so funny.
I really did have an amazing time. I did get a bit tearful during the night I just let the tears come then it was over as quickly as they started. I just felt so sad at that point with the end of my marriage and I have been missing him lately maybe it's just as we have been talking about DS. so filled with shame and embarrassment at my obsessive behaviour with old friend so worried about what he think of me, that I'm a complete nut job and sad at losing his friendship through my own behaviour!! My friend says it's no wonder I behaved that way it shows how insecure I am after what I have been through and that I'm not ready!! If only I could stop feeling so much guilt and shame and stop wanting to try and fix things, I just kept making it worse!!
Anyway I really am blessed my children and friends really helped me celebrate and really made the effort that it would be something I could cope with not too many people just those I can feel comfortable around, it was perfect!! And you know today I'm really looking forward to the concert I feel so much more positive and upbeat.
I really did have an amazing time. I did get a bit tearful during the night I just let the tears come then it was over as quickly as they started. I just felt so sad at that point with the end of my marriage and I have been missing him lately maybe it's just as we have been talking about DS. so filled with shame and embarrassment at my obsessive behaviour with old friend so worried about what he think of me, that I'm a complete nut job and sad at losing his friendship through my own behaviour!! My friend says it's no wonder I behaved that way it shows how insecure I am after what I have been through and that I'm not ready!! If only I could stop feeling so much guilt and shame and stop wanting to try and fix things, I just kept making it worse!!
Anyway I really am blessed my children and friends really helped me celebrate and really made the effort that it would be something I could cope with not too many people just those I can feel comfortable around, it was perfect!! And you know today I'm really looking forward to the concert I feel so much more positive and upbeat.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Thanks for the update, Butterfly, and even more glad that you went and you had a good time!
One little step at a time, doing one more thing we think we can't do...
This is a milestone birthday for you in more ways than one.
One little step at a time, doing one more thing we think we can't do...
This is a milestone birthday for you in more ways than one.
Baby Steps
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,689
I'm glad I went aswell and that I kept an open mind.
It was Tennents vital, a festival with various acts but the script were the headliners and the reason I went. So much fun an amazing day/night I doubt I will have a voice tomorrow and I was that close to the lead singer I was able to touch him.... Best birthday present ever lol
It was Tennents vital, a festival with various acts but the script were the headliners and the reason I went. So much fun an amazing day/night I doubt I will have a voice tomorrow and I was that close to the lead singer I was able to touch him.... Best birthday present ever lol
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Happy Birthday Butterfly!
I turned 40 in December. I really did not want to do anything, but my sister took me on a little trip and it was super great.
Life does not always turn out how we want, or how we thought, but we have two choices. Wallow in the grief of what we thought it would be, or enjoy what comes our way. That is the reality.
I am not being hard on you, just looking at it with reality. It's time to give yourself permission to reach for the positive my dear friend.
Much love and many hugs to you!
I turned 40 in December. I really did not want to do anything, but my sister took me on a little trip and it was super great.
Life does not always turn out how we want, or how we thought, but we have two choices. Wallow in the grief of what we thought it would be, or enjoy what comes our way. That is the reality.
I am not being hard on you, just looking at it with reality. It's time to give yourself permission to reach for the positive my dear friend.
Much love and many hugs to you!
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