Liveitwell

After multiple messages to me (from ex) I decided I would let him know I supported him getting help as a sister in Christ...not for any other reason but to just let him know. I knew it would fall on deaf ears but as a born again Christian, I felt the need to say something. God just reminded me of what type of person I'm dealing with-his response was disgusting, bringing up items I did in the past (abortions) and I guess trying to hur me by bringing up things I did to him (and some that did not happen-crazy). He ended by saying that he just wanted to be mine.
Yes-he's Gods-not mine. He can try to hurt me all he wants-as I guess that makes him feel better and take the focus off of whàt he's done-but he can't hurt me anymore. I've grown in my walk and recovery and after reading responses like I got from him, I feel more compassion than anything as it must be a horrible place to be to try and hurt those willing to help. He's in Gods hands. Me and the girls, thriving...with Gods help.

dandylion

Sometimes, the best (and only) thing that we can do is to get out of their way........(and, stay out).

In the end, if he wanted to get better...he will, regardless of what stance you do or do not take.....

dandylion

Liveitwell

Yes ma'am! ^^

Refiner

I agree that you need to stay out of his way. Need you be reminded this is the same monster that flicks his own 6 year old daughter and tells her she's not a beautiful child of God and don't tell Mommy I said that??

Liveitwell

Refiner-no, I don't need to be reminded. I'm aware of who he is and is not. He will continue to implode and blame me, things I've done, until he gets help-if ever. God can deal with him.

hopeful4

I'm sorry. It's so sad to see them do this to themselves, to you, and to your children. Keep strong in your faith and your walk with God, it will keep you on the right road.

XXX

Liveitwell

You know what sucks, I'm sure he took it as condescending...when in reality that is the farthest from the truth. I don't judge him, I am a sinner just like everyone else and have plenty to answer to with Jesus. But I know I need Him and need help with my issues and there's nothing wrong with that!

hopeful4

You are so right!

My X says how I am holier than though, and makes fun of my Christian ways on a regular basis. Eh...that's ok with me. I still pray for him. Until he sees that he needs help, it's in vain. Stay your course, that is what is important for you and your children.

Liveitwell

What's crazy is my ex joined the Church while we were separated abd took a vow to Christ and our pastor to be a brother in Christ and that all members of the Churcg were his new brothers abd sisters. I take that very seriously. I thought he was serious about making a change for himself so he could get better and we could get better and our family wouldn't die to alcoholism. I knew that with Jesus's help, we would thrive. I guess, no matter what, I just wanted him to know that I had faith in him to get better. No manipulating, no nothing-just wanted him to know thst I supported him. I know he just wanted to be mine-I just wanted to be his, truly. But we, both of us each with our issues, tore apart our marriage. I got help bc I wanted to stop for me, and for my family-but one person cannot save a marriage and his demons won. Hands down crushed every ounce of respect I did have for him. Crushed my spirit. Crushed my daughters spirit at times. When thst happened, the decision to leave was not hard at all. I know why I made the bad decisions in the past-mostly out of fear. I own it all. God I wish he would have the courage to lay down his pride and realize a person cannot save him or make things better for him. He has to do the work...and it's so worth it. I truly hope he does someday-he is worth it. Totally rambling lately-just hit this point in grieving-not bargaining - just being honest about my shortcomings and my path to repentance. I will always support him making good choices-but I'll also hold him accountable. Sorry - just needed to get that out!