honeypig

DECEMBER 21

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Balance

Strive for balanced expectations of others. Strive for healthy tolerance.

In the past, we may have tolerated too much or too little. We may have expected too much or too little.

We may swing from tolerating abuse, mistreatment, and deception to refusing to tolerate normal, human, imperfect behaviors from people. Although it's preferable not to remain in either extreme too long, that is how people change--real people who struggle imperfectly toward better lives, improved relationships, and more effective relationship behaviors.

But if we are open to ourselves and to the recovery process, we will, at some time, begin another transition: it becomes time to move away from extremes, toward balance.

We can trust ourselves and the recovery process to bring us to a balanced place of tolerance, giving, understanding, and expectations - of others and ourselves.

We can each find our own path to balance as we begin and continue recovery.

Today, I will practice acceptance with others and myself for the way we change. If I have had to swing to the other extreme of a behavior, I will accept that as appropriate, for a time. But I will make my goal one of balanced tolerance and expectations of others and myself.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
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honeypig

This is a big topic for me--I've started to do better in many areas as far as not accepting what I don't find acceptable, and that's good. However, I also am beginning to question if, and in what areas, I've begun to demand too much. It sure looks like I've swung too far in the other direction in some ways.

Yikes. This recovery is not easy stuff, is it??

Well, today is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day/longest night of the year, so perhaps I can use the gradual lengthening of the days and shortening of the nights as we approach the Vernal Equinox to help remind me about this balance thing. It's going to take some effort, I can see that.

Happy Equinox to all at SR--I hope everyone experiences a gradual increase in the light in their lives as time moves ahead.

waggin

As my mom says every year on Dec 21st, "It's almost most summer!"

LexieCat

Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing--from here on the days will get gradually longer (thank goodness!)

waggin

Just knowing the days will be getting longer feels like such a weight being lifted. I know it's only an increase of about a minute a day or something. But it sure makes a difference in my mood. It's easier to stay positive and motivated.