readerbaby71

I'm sorry, Jarp. I know it must have been so hard. I admire you for being so strong. xo

jarp

The kids and I are going indoor rock climbing - our fav activity! Then trying out an awesome new cake recipe for the girls dads bday ( 1st husband). Girls go to their dads then son & I will go to the library and visit an old fashioned barber near us - getting his hair cut is the 5yo's favourite thing - he loves everything about it!!! And I love seeing him enjoy such a simple thing!

redatlanta

Yes, first they try the 'pity me I am living under a bridge in the rain, I am freezing to death, I am hungry, mommy, don't hurt me like this" routine.

Next will be……." am living in a 5 star hotel, I decided to take a vacation to Bali so sorry you aren't invited. A beautiful woman (model or actress) I was talking to at the bar told me you are the meanest wife on the planet and she would never treat me like you after all I am the smartest, handsomest best catch in the AU. By the way I am not an alcoholic you and everyone else have tried to make me think that and you are wrong because (_______fill in the blank). I can't believe I let you talk me into going to that detox place with all the real alcoholics who are unemployed and homeless. I am not like them. Your loss, too bad you don't appreciate me. You could have had it all I have given you a life any woman would dream of. I don't love you anymore because you are so selfish and hateful. I deserve better" routine.

They just keep coming at you from different tactics until they (hope) they find the one that presses your button.

yensid

I am in awe of your strength. You are an inspiration to many!

FireSprite

OMGosh that sounds SO FUN! DD & I are mad bakers, cake baking/decorating is one of our favorite activities (& how I taught her basic fractions, lol). Have a great time today!!!

hopeful4

Hugs to you Jarp. Good for you to stay strong, I cannot even imagine how hard that had to be. He recovered quite quickly didn't he?

Stay strong my friend, we are here for you.

Thumper

Oh gawd Jarp. I'm sorry. That sounds horrible but your strength and recovery are shining right now. I'm so impressed.

Croissant

Agree. Maybe it's part of where their reptile brain is activated by alcohol for survival. They will say and do anything to keep the status quo for the drinking to continue.

My husband turned very ugly, very quickly when he realised I was serious on my promise to move out if he used or drank again. I think that was the biggest shock for me. So yes, planning ahead is crucial. I had a place ready to go to when I told him, so I literally had somewhere to go.

It really then became about how do I create the best future for my kids with this nut job constantly trying one tactic or another to make me look like the bad person.

HopefulinFLA

Jarp you are so strong! I don't think I could have turned him away, especially if he was crying. That's just gut wrenching. I can only imagine how much that hurt.

Good for you for sticking to your guns!

NWGRITS

You did better than I did the first time I stood up to my AM after one of her "woe is me" Scarlet O'Hara impressions. "Wow, that really sucks for you." Yep, that's what I said to my own mother. And now we haven't talked in 2+ years.

Sometimes the right thing and the hardest thing are the same. It's part realizing you've been duped and feeling stupid for having been so naive. Part of it is anger. Part of it is sadness and mourning what could have been. You're doing remarkably well considering the gauntlet you've run through over the past couple weeks. Just keep doing the next right thing. It'll get easier the further out you get from him.