Abundant Serenity
Abundant Serenity
Well here I sit, wanting to express my gratitude, because I feel blessed, blissed, and I feel the need to write about it.
The people on this forum helped me to allow myself the freedom to find myself, my wants and needs. I've learned so much from the strength of sharing, you cyber strangers mean so much to me and my recovery. I tell my alanon and acoa friends about this place called SR that I love. Because I needed more meetings than there are around here, and the connection I feel here, it's priceless.
My exabf and myself have changed. I was so stressed out all the time, focusing on his diseases, not mine. Well that's different now, he's out of my house, he can no longer demand my attention or serenity. I'll be changing my locks soon. The job was given to me, and I will be using him for mechanical maintenance, but so far, he hasn't been able to repair something since Sunday, he tried, failed, and will try again tonite, maybe. The point is, he's not even going to be able to hang on to the mechanical maintenance portion, and will probably be relieved of that duty too!
He tried to take one of my dogs. There was drama, but I remained calm, and he didn't take her. He took quite a few material items from me, but that
was all it was, material things which can be replaced. My dogs can't be replaced.
The irony of it was as soon as I mentioned this to his b & sil, they offered to buy me a replacement vacum, television, etc.
Wow! I am in a position of extreme gratitude!
It took me 20 years or more to come back to Alanon, ACOA, and finally find sr. I accepted my miserable existence, never quite content, still sick, and attaching myself to unhealthy ones. It took all of that crap for me to finally get back into the solutions. Until, I was ready to work my program, of recovering from a lifetime of codependancy ( my disease).
My life has completely become mine. It feels awesome, and when I play the fear game, I see it, and can walk right through it.
It feels pretty good in my shoes, and I'm so grateful to y'all! I can't believe that this is me sometimes lately, yet it is, and I gratefully accept these gifts.
The people on this forum helped me to allow myself the freedom to find myself, my wants and needs. I've learned so much from the strength of sharing, you cyber strangers mean so much to me and my recovery. I tell my alanon and acoa friends about this place called SR that I love. Because I needed more meetings than there are around here, and the connection I feel here, it's priceless.
My exabf and myself have changed. I was so stressed out all the time, focusing on his diseases, not mine. Well that's different now, he's out of my house, he can no longer demand my attention or serenity. I'll be changing my locks soon. The job was given to me, and I will be using him for mechanical maintenance, but so far, he hasn't been able to repair something since Sunday, he tried, failed, and will try again tonite, maybe. The point is, he's not even going to be able to hang on to the mechanical maintenance portion, and will probably be relieved of that duty too!
He tried to take one of my dogs. There was drama, but I remained calm, and he didn't take her. He took quite a few material items from me, but that
was all it was, material things which can be replaced. My dogs can't be replaced.
The irony of it was as soon as I mentioned this to his b & sil, they offered to buy me a replacement vacum, television, etc.
Wow! I am in a position of extreme gratitude!
It took me 20 years or more to come back to Alanon, ACOA, and finally find sr. I accepted my miserable existence, never quite content, still sick, and attaching myself to unhealthy ones. It took all of that crap for me to finally get back into the solutions. Until, I was ready to work my program, of recovering from a lifetime of codependancy ( my disease).
My life has completely become mine. It feels awesome, and when I play the fear game, I see it, and can walk right through it.
It feels pretty good in my shoes, and I'm so grateful to y'all! I can't believe that this is me sometimes lately, yet it is, and I gratefully accept these gifts.
Dear Serenebynow, what a perfect way to start my day....reading this post.
Now you are serene and living up to your name here.....wonderful.
Keep us up to date please, as it does help so much, to see comments from those who made it thru the maze of misery.
God bless
Now you are serene and living up to your name here.....wonderful.
Keep us up to date please, as it does help so much, to see comments from those who made it thru the maze of misery.
God bless
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