Giving up the Dreams
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
(((tbiet))) No, life is not fair some times, it is more often than not, cruel, and painful. But also blessed, because to feel that pain is testiment to being who we all are, loving and caring people. Otherwise, we just wouldn't care, and it wouldn't hurt.
(((cynical one))) My next dream is to somehow convince my grandbabies not to ever pick up that first drink, or that first joint, or that first.......to learn, from a very early age that they never have to accept the unacceptable in their lives. To have all the things in their lives that I never did, love, self confidence, empowerment. This is my dream now.
(((dollydo))) I promise, when I feel strong enough to offer my words agian, I'll be back. Right now, anything I have to offer is tinged with so many emotions, that it really just needs to be put on a back burner, until I am centered again.
(((lady))) We've come a long way haven't we? Keep that light shining.
(((greeteachday))) You made the tears just flow again. "it will be OK". Those are the words that I craved my whole life. A gental hug with those gental words. Yes, I actually felt that hug, the same as if someone was sitting right here with me. Thank you my friend.
(((cynical one))) My next dream is to somehow convince my grandbabies not to ever pick up that first drink, or that first joint, or that first.......to learn, from a very early age that they never have to accept the unacceptable in their lives. To have all the things in their lives that I never did, love, self confidence, empowerment. This is my dream now.
(((dollydo))) I promise, when I feel strong enough to offer my words agian, I'll be back. Right now, anything I have to offer is tinged with so many emotions, that it really just needs to be put on a back burner, until I am centered again.
(((lady))) We've come a long way haven't we? Keep that light shining.
(((greeteachday))) You made the tears just flow again. "it will be OK". Those are the words that I craved my whole life. A gental hug with those gental words. Yes, I actually felt that hug, the same as if someone was sitting right here with me. Thank you my friend.
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
(((Melissa))) Welcome to SR. Though I'm so sorry for what brings you here, I'm so glad that you found this place. It is a wonderful journey that you are starting. My prayers are with you.
(((Spiritual Seeker))) Yes I will. I just need to step back and allow myself to heal. Do a little weed eating of my path and maybe even plant some flowers.
(((Spiritual Seeker))) Yes I will. I just need to step back and allow myself to heal. Do a little weed eating of my path and maybe even plant some flowers.
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
I'm at a fork in the road right now. I know that I want to go home. It would seem pretty simple wouldn't it? Just go home. But now, Jerry doesn't want to go back to Florida. He says that he has nothing there any more. Everything I love and treasure is there waiting for me. So my choice is my partner or my grandbabies. Anyone want to place a wager on which one I'll choose?
As sad as it is, I still have to chuckle a little bit. SR gave me so much, most importantly, at this point and time, for the first time ever, I'm putting me first. My needs. I'm not the same woman that I used to be. I'm not going to sit here in misery even if it means loosing him too. SR has given me that strength. A hard choice, but I'm already hurting so might as well take the leap and work through all of it.
As sad as it is, I still have to chuckle a little bit. SR gave me so much, most importantly, at this point and time, for the first time ever, I'm putting me first. My needs. I'm not the same woman that I used to be. I'm not going to sit here in misery even if it means loosing him too. SR has given me that strength. A hard choice, but I'm already hurting so might as well take the leap and work through all of it.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((frankly))
"May God grant you always a sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you." - An Irish Blessing
Sending you PINK HUGS & prayers as you walk this path with you and YOUR HP -
You have always helped me with your love, wisdom and encouragement ~ please touch base with us when you can!
Rita
"May God grant you always a sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you." - An Irish Blessing
Sending you PINK HUGS & prayers as you walk this path with you and YOUR HP -
You have always helped me with your love, wisdom and encouragement ~ please touch base with us when you can!
Rita
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,249
Frankly, I see so much LOVE on this site for you. Please DON'T be gone too long. You will be deeply missed. You have alot of caring friends here, and we will be wondering how you are. I sure hope you stop by and say hello.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
dear frankly....
When you first started out on your 'new' life.... with the hotel and the codie ranch....I wonder if you have an inkling of how you have inspired me and so many others to do the same in some other shape or form.
It takes courage, grit, guts, moxie...and more to start out anew and follow a dream.
In my own life it's often been effortless to reach out for a goal...and sometimes following some dreams has seemed so futile that it's pathetic.
I'm learning that it's just as well to follow a dream as it is to let go of it. It's not a defeat when I hit a brick wall because I know my HP is in charge and guiding me through/past/around it all-toward where I need to be. It just seems sooo darn much easier when things go as _I_ plan them! (stomps foot)
I have every confidence that you will land on your feet whatever you do or where ever you go....I'm sorry you're feeling so much sadness right now.
I hope & pray things will look brighter for you; sooner than later. :hugs:
ps...
FL will be 'that much' nicer should you come back
When you first started out on your 'new' life.... with the hotel and the codie ranch....I wonder if you have an inkling of how you have inspired me and so many others to do the same in some other shape or form.
It takes courage, grit, guts, moxie...and more to start out anew and follow a dream.
In my own life it's often been effortless to reach out for a goal...and sometimes following some dreams has seemed so futile that it's pathetic.
I'm learning that it's just as well to follow a dream as it is to let go of it. It's not a defeat when I hit a brick wall because I know my HP is in charge and guiding me through/past/around it all-toward where I need to be. It just seems sooo darn much easier when things go as _I_ plan them! (stomps foot)
I have every confidence that you will land on your feet whatever you do or where ever you go....I'm sorry you're feeling so much sadness right now.
I hope & pray things will look brighter for you; sooner than later. :hugs:
ps...
FL will be 'that much' nicer should you come back
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
(((HUGS))) and ((({PRAYERS))) Frankly... I remember you too... your posts always inspired me! Praying for happiness to shine upon you and for guidance from above as you make decisions on which path to take next in life!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Do a little weed eating of my path and maybe even plant some flowers.
One of my favorite quotes is "Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul; instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." ~Veronica A. Shoffstall,
I love this one too and I suspect this is right where you are and right where you need to be:
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~Author Unknown
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
(((Japic))) Stay Pink Rita
(((CMC))) I know that there is a reason for loosing the codie ranch, and the motel. It wouldn't even have really hurt that much if I could have just finished it and had one person get to visit it. I don't like it, but I do understand that it is happening for a reason.
I know that whoever did this to me, they have a drug problem. It's not personal to me, they don't really know or comprehend the pain they have caused, they don't know that I didn't have insurance or that I had basically worked on it by myself for the last two years. All they know is that they needed a fix, any way possible.
I think about them. I pray for them. They are someones son or daughter, friend or parent. What they have taken from me is nothing compared to what they are doing to the people that love them, and what they are doing to themselves.
They could be someone's son or daughter on this board. I think about that. And I feel sorry for them. Before Brett's death, I would have wanted to find them and kill them. Now I want to find them and save them. But I can't. I can't save anyone.
In my heart I know it is a lesson in giving up material and petty things. To concentrate on the things that really matter. Who knows, maybe time is important now, maybe this happened because I am meant to impact my grandbabbies lives NOW for a reason. Maybe that is HP using me to make sure, that they make it. In reality, maybe he is giving me the gift that is what I need, not what I want.
Jerry's son is serving a 7 year prison sentence for thefth. He is a herion addict. He will be getting out now sometime in the next year. Maybe our dreams being stolen will impact him enought not to continue down that path when he gets out. He knows the impact this has had on us, it will impact him as well because he was really looking forward to comming up here when he gets out and starting over. That will not happen now. At least, I want be here if it does. Maybe he's supposed to get out and come up here to take care of his dad (Jerry) and maybe I'm not supposed to be around for whatever it is going to take to change his life.
My ramblings are a product of a racing mind. But the point is, I understand that there is a reason and a purpose for it all. Some day, I'll be able to look back, and I'll understand the why's.
Thank You CMC, for all your words of encouragement over the years. HP is using you in his grand scheme of things too.
(((rayofsunshine))) you have been just that, a beautiful ray of sunshine.
(((CMC))) I know that there is a reason for loosing the codie ranch, and the motel. It wouldn't even have really hurt that much if I could have just finished it and had one person get to visit it. I don't like it, but I do understand that it is happening for a reason.
I know that whoever did this to me, they have a drug problem. It's not personal to me, they don't really know or comprehend the pain they have caused, they don't know that I didn't have insurance or that I had basically worked on it by myself for the last two years. All they know is that they needed a fix, any way possible.
I think about them. I pray for them. They are someones son or daughter, friend or parent. What they have taken from me is nothing compared to what they are doing to the people that love them, and what they are doing to themselves.
They could be someone's son or daughter on this board. I think about that. And I feel sorry for them. Before Brett's death, I would have wanted to find them and kill them. Now I want to find them and save them. But I can't. I can't save anyone.
In my heart I know it is a lesson in giving up material and petty things. To concentrate on the things that really matter. Who knows, maybe time is important now, maybe this happened because I am meant to impact my grandbabbies lives NOW for a reason. Maybe that is HP using me to make sure, that they make it. In reality, maybe he is giving me the gift that is what I need, not what I want.
Jerry's son is serving a 7 year prison sentence for thefth. He is a herion addict. He will be getting out now sometime in the next year. Maybe our dreams being stolen will impact him enought not to continue down that path when he gets out. He knows the impact this has had on us, it will impact him as well because he was really looking forward to comming up here when he gets out and starting over. That will not happen now. At least, I want be here if it does. Maybe he's supposed to get out and come up here to take care of his dad (Jerry) and maybe I'm not supposed to be around for whatever it is going to take to change his life.
My ramblings are a product of a racing mind. But the point is, I understand that there is a reason and a purpose for it all. Some day, I'll be able to look back, and I'll understand the why's.
Thank You CMC, for all your words of encouragement over the years. HP is using you in his grand scheme of things too.
(((rayofsunshine))) you have been just that, a beautiful ray of sunshine.
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