My parents are guilty of all my iproblems
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: LA cali
Posts: 37
My parents are guilty of all my iproblems
They are not even my anxieties and insecurities, but my parents ones.
When I was a child I had no other option but to maintain a strong facade to cover the anxiety, and now that I dont have the energy to act anymore, everything is obvious.
Even now whenever i feel good I can be sure my mom talks me into feeling bad and guilty. She is the dirtiest person I have ever had the misfortune of knowing. Its like she always has to be agianst me almost as a kind of reflex, and the better I do, the more she tries to get me down.
All my anxieties are actually hers. She just loaded them on me all the time when I was a child, and I couldnt defend, and so they got a life of its own. Its like a virus. My parents infected me with their dirtiness.
Ill be out soon because Im doing really good, I even sometimes forget to take my pain meds, thats how little pain I have. And once Im out Ill hopefully never see my parents agian in my life. Bastards!!! :uzi2:
When I was a child I had no other option but to maintain a strong facade to cover the anxiety, and now that I dont have the energy to act anymore, everything is obvious.
Even now whenever i feel good I can be sure my mom talks me into feeling bad and guilty. She is the dirtiest person I have ever had the misfortune of knowing. Its like she always has to be agianst me almost as a kind of reflex, and the better I do, the more she tries to get me down.
All my anxieties are actually hers. She just loaded them on me all the time when I was a child, and I couldnt defend, and so they got a life of its own. Its like a virus. My parents infected me with their dirtiness.
Ill be out soon because Im doing really good, I even sometimes forget to take my pain meds, thats how little pain I have. And once Im out Ill hopefully never see my parents agian in my life. Bastards!!! :uzi2:
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: El Cerrito, California
Posts: 580
I got a lot out of Alanon Adult Children of Alcoholics even though neither of my parents were alcoholics. My parents passed along a lot of pain to me as well, but I found a way to work through most of it. They were like alcoholics in that they were dysfunctional because that's all they knew. Therapy, journal work, and meditation were also essential. I found that unless I dealt with it, I passed it along as well in various ways. It's a human thing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 201
Originally Posted by stonetree
They are not even my anxieties and insecurities, but my parents ones.
When I was a child I had no other option but to maintain a strong facade to cover the anxiety, and now that I dont have the energy to act anymore, everything is obvious.
Even now whenever i feel good I can be sure my mom talks me into feeling bad and guilty. She is the dirtiest person I have ever had the misfortune of knowing. Its like she always has to be agianst me almost as a kind of reflex, and the better I do, the more she tries to get me down.
All my anxieties are actually hers. She just loaded them on me all the time when I was a child, and I couldnt defend, and so they got a life of its own. Its like a virus. My parents infected me with their dirtiness.
Ill be out soon because Im doing really good, I even sometimes forget to take my pain meds, thats how little pain I have. And once Im out Ill hopefully never see my parents agian in my life. Bastards!!! :uzi2:
When I was a child I had no other option but to maintain a strong facade to cover the anxiety, and now that I dont have the energy to act anymore, everything is obvious.
Even now whenever i feel good I can be sure my mom talks me into feeling bad and guilty. She is the dirtiest person I have ever had the misfortune of knowing. Its like she always has to be agianst me almost as a kind of reflex, and the better I do, the more she tries to get me down.
All my anxieties are actually hers. She just loaded them on me all the time when I was a child, and I couldnt defend, and so they got a life of its own. Its like a virus. My parents infected me with their dirtiness.
Ill be out soon because Im doing really good, I even sometimes forget to take my pain meds, thats how little pain I have. And once Im out Ill hopefully never see my parents agian in my life. Bastards!!! :uzi2:
no one is perfect, neither are your parents. treat them as humans.
blaming them for your own condition will get you nowhere and only serve to make you worse however. you need a resolution.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: LA cali
Posts: 37
blaming them for your own condition will get you nowhere and only serve to make you worse however. you need a resolution.
Its very important to put the blame on the ones that really are to blame.
My parents have basically blamed me for all their problems, and so I grew up thinking that something is wrong with me (as they projected all their faults on me). But there is nothing wrong with me, all my problems are basically only their dirt that they stained me with.
Whats worse, since my parents were the world (when I was a kid), it has always made me susceptible to other people that are as abusive as my parents are. That means, when someone else tried to load their dirt on me, I thought its my fault.
Its very very totally and entirely important to blame the ones that are guilty because then I can see other people for what they are (instead of twisting myself to adapt to them). Many people are as dirty as my parents, and its about setting my boundaries and realizing that nothing is wrong with me. After all, when other people have a problem, then it is their problem. I wont ever adjust to anyone anymore. Im done. They all go to hell and out of my sight.
I cant count the people Ive met that constantly try to blame others for their faults, just as my parents did. And the worst thing is, I always felt like it is justified to be blamed for what others do wrong (thats how I grew up, whenever something went wrong, they blamed me).
It all comes down to defining ones boundaries and not letting anyone cross them.
It also is about being 'irresponsible' and not feeling guilty when I live my life the way I want, even if others dont agree. Or actually more than ever if others dont agree!!!
I wont be the trash can for other people anymore. All my 'problems' were only symptoms that I coudnt live with the dirt of other people anymore.
All my problems were other peoples faults. And then they even blamed me for having problems. The blame never ends with people like my parents.
And then when I made the mistake of talking with psychologists, they continued to game of putting blame on me just like my parents did. Those psychs also only blamed me for having problems, and they were even worse, they even made up reasons why its all only my fault. And then when their relentless blaming made me worse and I addressed it, then they put the blame on me as to why the 'therapy' was not working and how it is all my fault. They just shamelessly exploited me almost exactly the way my parents did. Those Bastards!!!! :uzi2:
And then I didnt even realize how abusive the people were I was dealing with, because after all, I thought it was my fault!!! Those stupid morons, to hell with them all!!!!
Ive had it!!! Noone will ever project their dirtiness on me anymore!!! To hell with them all!!!!!!!!!!!:uzi2:
This is my life!!! I make as many mistakes as I want, and I feel good about it!!! If someone doesnt agree, I just shrug my shoulders. These bastards wont get the best of me!!! They wont steal from me anymore!!! Ive had it with them!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 201
I cant count the people Ive met that constantly try to blame others for their faults, just as my parents did.
is that what you want in your life. the problem with blaming your parents or other people, is that it makes you powerless, so you can't do anything
if you take the blame then you have the power to get better, become better than your parents. evolve higher and more functioning.if not then you will be just like them, is that what you want ?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: LA cali
Posts: 37
I wonder why you dont seem to understand my points, its simple really.
No, because there is a big difference in offending someone and defending onesself.
When I blame my parents then I am defending myself against their offense.
Im not like my parents because I only blame the ones that harmed me. I dont randomly blame people that have nothing to do with it.
Now would you say that when someone threatens you with a knife and you defend yourself with a knife, then you are as bad as the one killer that offended you? Of course not, for you are only defending yourself against an offense, and that is not only your right, it is your duty if you respect yourself.
When I defend myself against the violence I was subject to, then Im only doing what self respect demands.
I have no idea how you arrived at this conclusion.
If someone takes the blame then it only ensures that their self is eradicated. It seems that you hold the view that every blame of other people is justified, and therefore one is supposed to take the blame.
If I finally defend myself against all the wrong doing then this doesnt make me powerless. It empowers me because Im not willing anymore to be pushed around by bullies.
I still cant believe you actually said above that one should not defend oneself against oppressors. Makes me speechless.
I think you yourself have been blamed too much in your life also, and so you automatically think that you deserve the blame because you are not ok the way you are right now, and therefore you have to 'evolve' or something as bizarre as that.
I have seen that time and again that people who have been subject to verbal and emotional abuse by their parents tend to always get involved with abusers later on in their lives. They find psychologists that only abuse them on and on, they find 'lovers' that only exploit them emotionally, and then they also have friends that are as abusive as their parents once were. And why is that? Because these poor people that have been emotionally abused by their parents have never stood up and acknowledged their own self worth. They have never really grasped that it is not ok to be blamed all the time, and they have not directed their anger towards the ones that oppressed them, but all they do is direct their anger towards themselves.
Directing ones anger towards the ones that deserve it is liberating. Directing the anger inward and trying to become 'a better person' is emotional suicide.
I choose life, not death. And in doing so, I defend myself against my enemies. I dont turn the other cheek, and no one should!!!
well, then you have become exactly like your parents then is that what you want in your life.
is that what you want in your life. No, because there is a big difference in offending someone and defending onesself.
When I blame my parents then I am defending myself against their offense.
Im not like my parents because I only blame the ones that harmed me. I dont randomly blame people that have nothing to do with it.
Now would you say that when someone threatens you with a knife and you defend yourself with a knife, then you are as bad as the one killer that offended you? Of course not, for you are only defending yourself against an offense, and that is not only your right, it is your duty if you respect yourself.
When I defend myself against the violence I was subject to, then Im only doing what self respect demands.
the problem with blaming your parents or other people, is that it makes you powerless, so you can't do anything 
if you take the blame then you have the power to get better, become better than your parents. evolve higher and more functioning.
if you take the blame then you have the power to get better, become better than your parents. evolve higher and more functioning.If someone takes the blame then it only ensures that their self is eradicated. It seems that you hold the view that every blame of other people is justified, and therefore one is supposed to take the blame.
If I finally defend myself against all the wrong doing then this doesnt make me powerless. It empowers me because Im not willing anymore to be pushed around by bullies.
I still cant believe you actually said above that one should not defend oneself against oppressors. Makes me speechless.
I think you yourself have been blamed too much in your life also, and so you automatically think that you deserve the blame because you are not ok the way you are right now, and therefore you have to 'evolve' or something as bizarre as that.
I have seen that time and again that people who have been subject to verbal and emotional abuse by their parents tend to always get involved with abusers later on in their lives. They find psychologists that only abuse them on and on, they find 'lovers' that only exploit them emotionally, and then they also have friends that are as abusive as their parents once were. And why is that? Because these poor people that have been emotionally abused by their parents have never stood up and acknowledged their own self worth. They have never really grasped that it is not ok to be blamed all the time, and they have not directed their anger towards the ones that oppressed them, but all they do is direct their anger towards themselves.
Directing ones anger towards the ones that deserve it is liberating. Directing the anger inward and trying to become 'a better person' is emotional suicide.
I choose life, not death. And in doing so, I defend myself against my enemies. I dont turn the other cheek, and no one should!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: LA cali
Posts: 37
Oh, one other thing while Im at it:
This is the one stupid lie psychologists have created god knows why.
Its like no one must claim their life and personal space and only put up with everything, as if one was a hollow pile of cells without a will.
I think I know why this is a prevalent myth: it attempts to shut people up.
Its like you have to adjust and integrate and never acknowledge your self.
That is the same stupid creed that is taught everywhere.
Children in school are told to ignore themselves and shut up.
Later on the children develop 'personality disorders' because of all the dirt they have been forced to swallow, and then again they are told to ignore themselves and shut up.
And then its like you have to 'accept' and 'understand' your oppressors and be a 'better' person, as if it was a competition who is the best person (like who is the person that shuts up the most).
Im done with it!!! Not only with my parents, but also with this stupid oppressive psychology ********, and all this ****, and all these liars that say they want to 'help' only to exploit, and all the hypocrisy and TO HELL WITH IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its about me, me, me, and me, and me me me me me!!!! Its my life and noone will ever trample on it again!!!
That had to be said!!!!
the problem with blaming your parents or other people, is that it makes you powerless, so you can't do anything
Its like no one must claim their life and personal space and only put up with everything, as if one was a hollow pile of cells without a will.
I think I know why this is a prevalent myth: it attempts to shut people up.
Its like you have to adjust and integrate and never acknowledge your self.
That is the same stupid creed that is taught everywhere.
Children in school are told to ignore themselves and shut up.
Later on the children develop 'personality disorders' because of all the dirt they have been forced to swallow, and then again they are told to ignore themselves and shut up.
And then its like you have to 'accept' and 'understand' your oppressors and be a 'better' person, as if it was a competition who is the best person (like who is the person that shuts up the most).
Im done with it!!! Not only with my parents, but also with this stupid oppressive psychology ********, and all this ****, and all these liars that say they want to 'help' only to exploit, and all the hypocrisy and TO HELL WITH IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its about me, me, me, and me, and me me me me me!!!! Its my life and noone will ever trample on it again!!!
That had to be said!!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
Originally Posted by stonetree
Oh, and this ******* religious ******** like you have to honor your parents is BS too!!! To hell not only with my parents, but to hell with God also!!!!!!!!:uzi2:
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SC
Posts: 1,027
Stonetree I don't think anyone understands what you are talking about because I read the same into it as Christian did.
What it reads like is that you are blaming all of your troubles on your parents. Even trouble you may have gotten into all on your own. It sounds like you are saying that you blame them because of how you were raised.
I apologize if I am reading incorrectly but your words are not clear on what you are trying to say. I have this problem too occasionally.
What it reads like is that you are blaming all of your troubles on your parents. Even trouble you may have gotten into all on your own. It sounds like you are saying that you blame them because of how you were raised.
I apologize if I am reading incorrectly but your words are not clear on what you are trying to say. I have this problem too occasionally.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: LA cali
Posts: 37
Well, black metal would be Cradle of Filth for one.....hmm, thats about the only black metal band that I know, and its the only black metal band that is good. When I start a black metal band, thats the second good one then.....
Hahaha!
Dont worry, I was not trying to say anything. I was just venting for the sake of it. In fact I dont even care if anyone understands, it was just about venting. (Dude I love this vibrating head banger!!! He is as wack as I am....looking at it too long makes me dizzy though, lol!)
Hahaha!
Stonetree I don't think anyone understands what you are talking about because I read the same into it as Christian did.
I apologize if I am reading incorrectly but your words are not clear on what you are trying to say. I have this problem too occasionally.
I apologize if I am reading incorrectly but your words are not clear on what you are trying to say. I have this problem too occasionally.
Dont worry, I was not trying to say anything. I was just venting for the sake of it. In fact I dont even care if anyone understands, it was just about venting.
(Dude I love this vibrating head banger!!! He is as wack as I am....looking at it too long makes me dizzy though, lol!)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: LA cali
Posts: 37
What it reads like is that you are blaming all of your troubles on your parents. Even trouble you may have gotten into all on your own. It sounds like you are saying that you blame them because of how you were raised.
Well, yes, that is exactly what I was saying. See, you did understand it though!! Congrats on deciphering my vent.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: LA cali
Posts: 37
Are you arguing about music styles?
Well I know myself that Cradle is not the scandinavian basic black metal, but for their satanic content you cant possibly put them anywhere else....well maybe in the gothic scene, but not exactly either! So it must be black metal, what else would it be? Nah I dont care. Yeah, nu metal rules too!!!
Well I know myself that Cradle is not the scandinavian basic black metal, but for their satanic content you cant possibly put them anywhere else....well maybe in the gothic scene, but not exactly either! So it must be black metal, what else would it be? Nah I dont care. Yeah, nu metal rules too!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
