ESH To Put In My Bank Account!!!
JUST DO IT!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
ESH To Put In My Bank Account!!!
Well I have been asked if I would speak on behalf of my home group here next month at some function. I have done this before in the past. I feel a little nervous about doing it here but I also know that if I just say one thing that could possibly help someone it would be worth it. Also I know that it will help me either way so there are no losers on doing it. I had a choice between speaking the first Sunday of the month or at the end of the month. I was thinking well if I spoke at the end of the month I would be 3 days from a year (that is Just For Today).
I had something happen a few days ago that I need to share here with my SR family!! I have made a post about what happen but just did it briefly. Anyway here it goes.
About a week or more ago I think that I wanted to get high and made some calls to some people but didn't know the phone numbers. So here I was calling all of these numbers that I didn't even know who they belonged to. Anyway I didn't get anyone that I knew so I quit calling.
Two nights ago I saw this persons pager in the paper so I paged them. I wanted to see how they were doing since I hadn't seen them in the rooms for a while. Anyway they called me back and we visited, they said that they were going to meetings (a lot of meetings here), that they were sitting there rolling there own cigarettes, didn't have money for there phone bill. I told them that I could help them. So I drove over there to give them some money. I also let them know what I tried to do a week or so ago. Well being new here I didn't know anyone that sold dope but that never kept me from using either. So after I told them what I did 10 days ago or so they said that they would never get me dope even if I asked.
Well I gave them 60 dollars to help with getting some smokes and help them pay for there phone bill. I dropped them off and I went to a meeting. After the meeting I came home and took my medication and went to sleep.
At 4:00 in the morning there was a pounding on my door. I was really tired from my medication but I went and answered it and there they stood. I invited them in and they were loaded. They said let's cut to the chase we can get a ball. I said OK and gave them the money (WTF is that about).
They left my house and when they left I posted on SR, I PMed a good friend here at SR and then I prayed. They came back within an hour with the dope. They gave it to me and I broke it in half. I gave them there part and kept mine. They started to smoke it (Crack) and asked if I was going to do any. I said NO, that I choose not to do it. I said that I had a choice today. I had no desire at all when they were doing it. I kept talking recovery to them even though I don't think they were listening very well.
I had a call from my friend about 11:00 am and she said that she was going out to eat and asked if I would like to go. I said sure and she came by and got me. I told her everything also and then I think that she was mad and took me home. When I got home they were still in my apt. I told them that it was time to go. They were out of dope, I had some still left since I didn't smoke none but I wasn't going to give them anymore. I ended up taking them home around 1:30 or 2 in that afternoon. I haven't heard from them since.
I have talked to my sponsor about it and he told me that "I have a hell of a Program going on because I sat there and didn't use and he also said that if it would have been him that he probably would have used and that I was a better man." I don't know about all of that but I do know that things go the way that they are suppose to. I do know that I have learned another lesson here and for that I am grateful. The amazing thing out of all of this is that I had no desire to use at all. Didn't even think about anything. WOW!!! Thanks for listening if you were.
Love Vic
I had something happen a few days ago that I need to share here with my SR family!! I have made a post about what happen but just did it briefly. Anyway here it goes.
About a week or more ago I think that I wanted to get high and made some calls to some people but didn't know the phone numbers. So here I was calling all of these numbers that I didn't even know who they belonged to. Anyway I didn't get anyone that I knew so I quit calling.
Two nights ago I saw this persons pager in the paper so I paged them. I wanted to see how they were doing since I hadn't seen them in the rooms for a while. Anyway they called me back and we visited, they said that they were going to meetings (a lot of meetings here), that they were sitting there rolling there own cigarettes, didn't have money for there phone bill. I told them that I could help them. So I drove over there to give them some money. I also let them know what I tried to do a week or so ago. Well being new here I didn't know anyone that sold dope but that never kept me from using either. So after I told them what I did 10 days ago or so they said that they would never get me dope even if I asked.
Well I gave them 60 dollars to help with getting some smokes and help them pay for there phone bill. I dropped them off and I went to a meeting. After the meeting I came home and took my medication and went to sleep.
At 4:00 in the morning there was a pounding on my door. I was really tired from my medication but I went and answered it and there they stood. I invited them in and they were loaded. They said let's cut to the chase we can get a ball. I said OK and gave them the money (WTF is that about).
They left my house and when they left I posted on SR, I PMed a good friend here at SR and then I prayed. They came back within an hour with the dope. They gave it to me and I broke it in half. I gave them there part and kept mine. They started to smoke it (Crack) and asked if I was going to do any. I said NO, that I choose not to do it. I said that I had a choice today. I had no desire at all when they were doing it. I kept talking recovery to them even though I don't think they were listening very well.I had a call from my friend about 11:00 am and she said that she was going out to eat and asked if I would like to go. I said sure and she came by and got me. I told her everything also and then I think that she was mad and took me home. When I got home they were still in my apt. I told them that it was time to go. They were out of dope, I had some still left since I didn't smoke none but I wasn't going to give them anymore. I ended up taking them home around 1:30 or 2 in that afternoon. I haven't heard from them since.
I have talked to my sponsor about it and he told me that "I have a hell of a Program going on because I sat there and didn't use and he also said that if it would have been him that he probably would have used and that I was a better man." I don't know about all of that but I do know that things go the way that they are suppose to. I do know that I have learned another lesson here and for that I am grateful. The amazing thing out of all of this is that I had no desire to use at all. Didn't even think about anything. WOW!!! Thanks for listening if you were.
Love Vic
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