sunnysmiles

I am not sure how many can relate to this but I think I'm addicted to pot. I went to the drug and alcohol center on my college campus to meet with a counselor. She was nice but not as helpful as I thought she would be. She gave me pamphlets on Marijuana and told me I could take an online exam to see how I rate on my addiction.. The results showed that 98% of US college students do not smoke as much as I do. I have a meeting next week with a drug and alcohol counselor to have a full intake evaluation. A part of me feels I might of over reacted that I have a problem. I don't know, I realize I've had a lot of mental issues in my past, I just dont know what my problem is. I want a whole new body and personality. SIGH
thanks for letting me vent.

REZ

You sound a lot like me. Here's my story with pot. I started smoking pot at age 17, while doing construction work. I enjoyed it a lot. So much so, that I started smoking every day, and then several times each day. From that point on, I was almost always stoned or coming down off beig stoned. I had to have pot, or I would get irritable. I needed to do something each day to get high. I also did other drugs, and of course, I was drinking too. I continued partying in college, but I started enjoying it less and less, but I was still doing it. It took more pot to get high, and I never experienced the euphoria that I enjoyed in my early days of pot using. Most of the time, I was in a "burned out" daze. But, I didn't think I had a problem because "everyone was doing it." Some junkie in the street--that's an addict, but not me. What's the harm in smoking a little weed? But I eventually realized that pot could be a problem. I started thinking I might have a problem, so I tried to quit. This was not easy! I was able to make it for a week or so without smoking, but when I smoked again, I went right back to my old habit. In my senior year in college, I was still struggling with my drug use and some low self-esteem. I didn't like myself. I had this vision of myself slowly turning into a stoned out hippie construction worker by age 30. I started hanging out more with a clean and sboer friend who I had used drugs with in my freshman and sophomore years. He went to drug/alcohol treatment in his junior year because he had a problem. At the time, I didn't think I had a problem because I was able to handle my school work and my grades were decent but not great. (I now know that you don't have to get arrested, flunk out of school, etc. to have problem.) Anway, I decided to go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting with him because I figured I had nothing to lose and I might learn something. I didn't know that I was an addict or that I even wanted to quit using drugs, but I did know that I didn't like myself or my life and that drugs were a large part of the problem. Well, the meeting was a great thing. I identified with the people there and with the idea that I didn't have the ability to control my drug use. The only way I can get control is to admit that I can't control it. (Ironic, eh?). As soon as I use again, I lose control and my life becomes a mess. To stay clean and have a decent life, I must not use drugs. Simple. That's what the first step is all about. Anyway, I picked up a white key tag, admitted I was an addict, and started going to meetings. I was intimidated by the idea of never using drugs again, but they told me to just not use today (one day at a time.) I figured I could handle that. I also started seeing a drug counselor that the college provided and I started working on the steps with the counselor. I did have a few slip ups early on in recovery, when I was still struggling with the first step, but I eventually got it and dedicated myself to staying clean. I have not used drugs or alcohol for more than 21 years now, and I have no regets about this. Indeed, making a commitment to staying clean (one day at a time) has been the best decison I have ever made. It has given a life. I wish you well and that if you have a problem, you make a commitment to staying clean. You are young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. I know many people who wish they had stopped using at your age.

skunkape

Wow Rez, powerful words for those of use who are just beginning this journey. Thank-you my friend.