rocksteady

Hello:

I've been clean from heroin for nine months and just relapsed off xanex and alcohol two weekends ago. Anyway, I'm starting my time over and now have eight days. This weekend was tough for me though. My girlfriend left for the weekend so I had the house to myself. I woke up on Saturday and all I could think about was going to get a hit. It wouldn't leave me, probably because I didn't want to let it go. I was seriously about to go and get a hit even after all I've been through. I went to a meeting Saturday night and even then all I thought about was using. I've found my trigger is being alone and bored so that's why I went to the meeting. The fact that didn't help scares me. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks for listening.

-ROCK

Cindi R

Find a meeting.
Call someone in the program.
Even if your a$$ falls off...pick it up and take it to a meeting.
No matter what don't pick up.
This too shall pass...the urge that is...whether or not you actually use or you don't.
Think it through...all the way to the end.
Remember the last time that it ended badly...and keep focusing on that.

Peter

Remember you control your thoughts......try dismissing the thoughts of using when they come.....think of something else.

If that don't work, call a friend preferrably someone in the programme.

If that dont work get busy doing something. Go to the gym. Go to a movie. Take a walk down to the SPCA and volunteer to clean some cages.Better even adopt a kitten.

If that don't work try praying to whatever God you believe in.

If that don't work. Dig your heels in and hang on. The feeling will pass.

Peter

You could also check out the following for some more ideas.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ing-79414.html

emmer

Hmmm, Yeah being alone for some people is a trigger, a major trigger. I know when my wife goes away I have problems too. Once I went to N.A. and admitted that I was an addict...I knew my drug use had to end.
I didn't want to say goodbye to benzos even though I had been through hell and back,but I guess I just accepted the fact that they had to go, along with everything else.I have 21 days of detoxing benzos left,then I'm done.
With help from N.A. and people on this forum I will learn, just like you will how not to use drugs.......one day at a time. ........Joe

Sun Shine

Home alone myself right now, it can be rough when your addition starts talking and your the only one listening. Make some friends in recovery. If you have a sponsor thats great but a friend can be awesome. Hell even a stranger (someone here)can be a "life saver". Hang in there and remember you do have a choice stay clean or don't. It might not be comfortable or easy but it is yours. The successful feeling and pride in yourself for making the right decision is an awesome hi! I wish you the best of strenght and hope
sun shine

rocksteady

Thanks guys, I don't know what it is, but sometimes going to a meeting, talking, with a friend in the program or even my sponsor just doesn't seem to work. For example, I went to a meeting the other night and the whole meeting I was thinking about using. I caught myself in the middle of it and stopped. Sometimes I feel there's nothing I can do about the "bad thoughts" It scares me to death cause I know if I use again my life is over. I hope playing the tape all the way through is the answer for me. Thanks again for all the support.

-ROCK

Digginit

Yeah....I do know what you mean. I quit coke for the second time at the end of my junior year of medical school. Now I'm a doctor and have this amazing access to prescription drugs. I do find myself thinking from time to time that I could write such-and-such for a friend in exchange for half for me.

BUT. So far, and God-willing in the future, I have made the same consious decision everytime the thought has crossed my mind. That decision has been not to blow it today. Life is much better this way than it was that way, and why would I want to screw up a good thing....