NewlySober

This is so frustrating. I know it's stupid and pointless and dangerous and incredibly expensive, particularly where I am, but I cannot stop. I have tried and tried and tried.

Today, for the umpteenth time, I went to the ghetto to score some weed. I mean, this is crazy. My car is in the shop, so the dealer gave me a loaner, but oddly the loaner is much, much nicer than my car. So I am driving around the ghetto in a ridiculously nice car, asking random people where I can buy weed.

I am a medical student and I know the mechanism of addiction. Why can't I apply it to myself and see the madness? I am so tired of this, yet I still love weed and love the way it makes me feel.

Anyway, it's all but certain I can't get any tonight so I feel down, but yet somehow relieved. Where will all this end? I seriously cannot count the number of ghettoes I have frequented in some of the most dangerous cities on earth, Washington DC and Atlanta to name just two. Particularly in DC, it was practically like a form of willful suicide to just drive around in there looking for weed.

Can anyone suggest anything to help me stop? I am really tired of this and at the end of my rope.

Peter

Have you ever been to an NA meeting ?

They helped me.

REZ

I couldn't stop smoking pot by myself either. I needed help. I found it in NA. I have never regretted the decision to go to an NA meeting, admit I have a problem, and seek help.

splendra

(((Newly Sober)))

Prayers going out for you. Keep posting and reading you can get thru this...

Digginit

It was just a little over a year and a half ago when I thought I couldn't quit doing coke. A friend told me, "No matter how you go about it, if you want to quit, just decide that you're not going to do it anymore. It's your choice." It was my choice then, and it's been my choice every day since then. Despite an incredible depression that followed my putting it down....lasted more than a month....it doesn't get better by continuing what caused the problem to begin with. Some days (like recent ones) I want to cave in, but when I realize that I do have a choice...nothing makes me put it in my nose, then I can choose to let it lie....

Thundar301

Are you REALLY tired? becuase if your not REALLY tired and don't REALLY want this, your just going through the motions. I started smoking weed in 1977 and tried almost everything under the sun since becoming addicted to both cocaine and meth, and I would be lying to you if I didn't say I LOVED getting high! I still do, but I hated where it took me both to score and as a result of being high. that is something I never cared about while I was using, but now @ 38 and I have 1 year, and 5 days short of 4 month's clean and sober , I know I have a choice to make everyday either I can get high again, or I can keep trying to stay clean with the help I found in NA. But only you can make that choice for yourself, May your HIGHER POWER bless you.
Dean, and I am still an addict working on recovery

Moontime

Welcome to SR!! The only way I have been able to stay clean from Nugs and other drugs was through NA. My willpower alone couldn't keep me clean. I spent many many evenings saying "just this last time" and "I won't smoke during the week only on weekends". I finally had a desire to try something different, actually it was more like a desperation to try something different. I went to NA and found my home. It didn't come overnight but I knew that I could change my way of life if I followed the simple suggestions of the program. I hope you can sit here a year from now and say the same thing to someone who new as well. I would suggest trying it for 90 days.

dolphin_girl200

Hello and welcome, I was once told in order to successfully quite doing drugs you must change EVERYTHING(the places you hang out, the people you hang out with, and your thinking and attitude). My opinion...if you really wanted to quite that bad you would get to a NA meeting instead of going to find you DOC. Have you been to a NA meeting?? The withdraw from the drug sucks but after you get past that things slowly start getting better, but you have to want it 100% or it won't last-no reservations. Wish you the best!! Keep coming back!