deenrose

I have receved several invitations for this New Year's Eve. My wife and I have been invited by a friend of my Mother's for dinner and my neighbors have invited my wife and I over also. Both are very nice people. However, with our neighbors there is sure to be marijuana being smoked. Sometimes we can actually smell the smoke wafting into our kitchen coming from there house. There is also sure to be alcohol. The same will hold true at the other invites house... At this point I need to tell you all that I have 49 days clean today. What type of advice do you have for me? I asking anyone to reply. I am very much open to suggestions.

On the flip side, there will be a marathon meeting tonight running into tomorrow from 10pm-10am. At some point I definately plan on showing up there. I am just not too sure about the other things. I can easily put my Mother's friend off because she is kind of far from us. However, my neighbors live right next door to us. As I said earlier they are a very nice couple. They came to my wedding and gave my wife and I $300.00. Also, they are also very friendly. They do not know about my affliction (disease of addiction). I just do not want them to think anything funny about us. Also, I need to tell you that while I have drank alcohol and smoked some weed in the past, my drugs of choice are really Cocaine & Crack. However, at thispoint in my recovery, I do not know what if any feelings will be kicked up in me from being exposed to alcohol and weed.

Again, I am just trying to bounce things off of other members of this wonderful fellowship looking for some feed back...

Patiently Waiting...

best

I remember a few new year's eve past... Just sitting home with my wife was nice in and of itself.
In the younger days... a planned activity for midnight *grin*
As the years grew... a kiss at midnight worked ok for starters.

Now it is chineese food and then asleep at 12:01 AM *LOL*

A reply could be as simple as... this year we want to try some quality time...Alone.

lonlion

Deen, remember how selfish we were when we were using? Remember how we put everything and everyone aside to do our DOC?

Well, now it's time to be selfish in a different way. Take care of your recovery first and foremost.

If there is alcohol/drugs at both events, then for me the choice would be easy. My recovery. If you only have 49 days, then please don't play with fire. Go to an AA or NA function, or the marathon meeting, rent a few movies and stay home with your wife, cook an amazing meal and play board games. Turn on romantic music and light candles and dance with your wife.

So many other options for you on your first clean New Years. Maybe next year you can do other things, but this year I would highly suggest keeping your recovery safe.

By the way, congrats on your 49 days clean and sober.

Happy New Year Deen,
Diana

Blake

If you don't go to where the drugs are, you can't do the drugs...If you don't put the drugs in your hand, you can't put them in your body....I have never seen anyone sitting in a meeting spontaneously get loaded.

This year, my dad's band is playing at this very fancy restaurant for new years, they will be serving a 10 course meal and then have dancing and an OPEN BAR....so instead I'm going to go to an NA bonfire....no drugs will be there so if for some reason I decide to get loaded, I'll have to work for it and hopefully change my mind.

Ngokpa

People will think what people will think, but if they're nice they'll respect your decision. A lot of people don't have the problems we do, and don't understand them. But we need to. A lot of people go back out in early recovery because we're wired to use, and going to a place where using is acceptable when we're still getting used to sober life is being too hard on ourselves. Even if we survive sober it's no fun.

I've been sober a long time, and occasionally am at social events where there is drinking, but that's never the point of the occasion or the main entertainment.

Sugah

Is your wife supportive of your committment to recovery? If so, she won't mind accompanying you to a sober function. If not, she can go to one of the other functions, and you can call her at midnight.

I'm not advocating looking too far ahead, but in the future, you can do as we're doing.... having a sober New Year's Eve party for our clean and sober friends. I didn't know enough people who didn't drink & drug to fill a booth at a local restaurant when I was using. Now, we're getting concerned whether or not our large farmhouse can hold them all!

I'll say a prayer for you, too. Happy New Year's Eve!

Peace & Love,
Sugah

REZ

Don't go. After 21 years of recovery, I still am very careful about attending events where alcohol will be consumed, such as weddings, company parties, etc. I haven't been around anybody using marijuana in years. I don't know how I would react and I don't really want to find out.

myah

Stay safe...you already know the answer to your own question..or you would have never questioned it in the first place. We as addicts just don't belong in places like that. You know theres going to be using going on all around you..how comfortable would that be? I suggest a quiet intamate new years eve with your wife.

Peter

You are under no obligation to accept any invitations from anybody regardless of how much money they gave you for a wedding present.

If you feel it is in your own best interest to politely decline this invitation then by all means do so. Believe me, once the alcohol and marijuana start flying nobody will remember if you are there or not.

deenrose

I thank you all for your advice. I am going to play it safe and keep my recovery up front. My wife and I will be going to an NA dance here in Merrick New York. It will be from 9pm-1am. After that we will be going to the marathon meeting here in Queens, New York. So, God willing I will be bringing in the New Year Clean and Sober and having some clean fun. Well, it is now 9:00 pm, I'd better be getting prepared for the party...

best

Have a great time and be careful on the roads.

Peter

Well as long as you continue to make healthy choices like the ones you made tonight I am certain you will be Clean and sober for a long time to come.

Good health and prosperity to you.