Luckyv2

If I have learned anything the past few days is that my expectations are not reality at all. I was in full flight of being alone this holiday season and in fact I am but I am not alone. I have the fellowship of NA, My HP, and SR. The thoughts that ran through my head were just that thoughts. I have learned a valuable lesson here the past few days on how I approach or not approach a situation. I need to sit back and be still sometimes and wait for the right action to take.

See I never expected that I would ever be able to get clean and sober again, and to put down a few 24's in a row and yet those expectations are not real either. I have been able to put a few 24's behind me but that is not really important either. What is important to me today is to realize that I have learned that expectations are just that and nothing more. I have to leave that crap to someone else that can in fact handle it.

One thing also is that I have to do this different today when I see a problem. Here the past few days I reacted, now I think that a lot of it is with the medicine that I am on. It pretty much takes control over your mind and makes you think some really crazy stuff, that I have noticed. So for me today I need to realize that and I am going to do my best not to make any post here at SR and react on the mind that is under the influence of this medicine, Does that make any sense to anyone here?

I don't believe really that I am trying to justify my behaviour here but I am trying to see when it has happened and it has been happening more than not. So today I would like to say to each of you may your Holidays be blessed and may your life be full of happiness. I only have 46 more weeks of treatment left LOL I will try my best to be the best Vic that I can. Again thanks for all your love and support....

Love Vic

velvet

As the teacher says to her students " SLOW YOUR ROLL ".....meaning (for all you unhip people) To slow down, if you're angry or stressed, think before you react. Good self diagnosis, Lucky. You're definately on your way..............

daydream

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Vic))))))))))))))))))))) ))))
Just for today.

REZ

One day at a time. We take what we are given, and make the best of it.

iou1na

.. Many a time, my sponsor (who is a deeply religious man) has told me to "Go to a meeting, shut your f***ing mouth, and open your f***ing ears!". Other times he just says to go and listen. I s'pose it depends on how pig-headed I'm being.
.. T'is good to sometimes sit back and listen to others. I find that occasionally I hear my God talking to me thru other addicts.

grumpy_b05

Hi Vic!

I'm glad your thinking things through! That's something I too had to do, was stop think before reacting. Now I find I don't have to apologize quite as often! I hope you find the positive this holiday season and may you too be blessed.

michski

(((( vic )))))

Good you recognized that the medication may be changing your moods.. I haven't read much in your posts (and I do read them) that was off the wall or mean spirited. What I have read are the thoughts of someone who is serious about recovery and is changing.. this post here really reflects that change is in progress. You gotta remember that all times of transition make for feeling the crazies... I found early recovery to be a particularly severe time of personal brow beating!

So many really loving people here to "see" you through all these transitions and disappointments from expectations and such a new awareness of self centeredness and dishonesty.

Somewhere around the second year of my sobriety I was able to visualize the little girl inside of me who was kicking and screaming about things not turning out way she wanted... I'm glad I got to know her cause now I can tell her to "hush up" and leave me alone.