zupper

This is hard for me. I have had problems with addiction for a long time. I am 25 and have been addicted to one thing or another since I was seventeen. First it was cigarettes, I have kicked that habit but occasionally relapse for a brief period of time. I hate smoking and seem to quit easily as of late because I usually only smoke for one or two weeks usually due to stress from school work. I even think I drink to much.
Lately, like the past year I think I've been smoking a lot of pot. I haven't smoked for a week and it has been the most ****** of weeks. First off, I've been sick all week first it was the stomach now its bronchitis. I would love if that was all that was plaguing me. I get nervous anxiety when I leave my apartment. My hands shake when I drive, and when I'm at home I'm so bored I can't stand it. Will this **** go away? Can I smoke again in a few months? Should I? or should I do none of the above?
Probably not, until I can find a way to control my impulsive tendencies, which is something that may never change. Sounds to me like I'm looking for a way back in.
Signed,

Confused as all hell.

splendra

zupper-

Welcome to Sober Recovery!!! Stick around and keep posting. Sounds like you are trying to do good for yourself. Take it easy on yourself . I am sure others will be here to welcome you too...

hopealwayz

Welcome to SoberRecovery!
Stick around and get some great support here.

You are in a good place!

REZ

I can relate. Nicotine is addictive, so is caffeine. However, neither of these drugs ever did the harm to me that others did. Alcohol made me totally out control wild, in trouble, hurting myself and others. Marijuana took away my motivation; made me a burn out on life. LSD made go nearly completely insane. Cocaine, etc. My point: for me I had to quit the mind/mood altering drugs (alcohol, marijuana, etc.) before dealing with cigarettes and coffee. After a few months clean and sober, I stopped smoking cigarettes, and I have reduce my consumption of caffeine. I am okay today with a couple of cups of coffee; maybe its an addiction, but it's nothing like have a couple of joints a day or a couple of bottles of wine!

phoenixn

Or you could just let some worthless psychiatrist put you on a legal medication so he and the pharmaceutical companies can make more money, and then you will NEVER solve your problems.

Best bet is to do the best you can while digging deeper into the underlining reasons. There are some good drug free tools like meditaton (refer to my site) to help you with the process. Keep up the good work!

Gooch

If it wasn't for the amotivational syndrome, coupled with the paranoid delusional episodes caused by chronic thc consumption over 15 years, I might never have found NA. It was my drug of no choice, and I had some severe psychological withdrawl, moodswings, and depresssive episodes that I struggled with for a good 6 years after getting clean.

And since I have been clean I've never wahted to have to rely on a prescribed drug to help me get over the chemical imbalance I believed to be a result of all those years of treating my brain chemistry like a wastewater treatment plant.

I have been able to identify aseasonal depression and after a lot of soul searching, feedback from others in recovery, and some research into the PDR, I do if necessary ask my doctor for short term prescriptions to a mild antidepressant 3/4's of the way through the "winter blahs".

I am not promoting or detracting from the argument for or against "pharmeceutical solutions" I am just sharing what it was like, what happened and what it's like now as far as my own experience, strength, and hope.

The choice should be up to the individual and would hopefully be an informed choice and coupled with a doctors input, in conjunction with working the steps of Narcotics Anonymous.

It's been a long time since I jumped up to run out and try something new just because I read about it on a website, or heard about it during a smoke break at a meeting.

I would hope that we would all remember people die as a result of the disease of addiction, let alone the psychological, and emotional suffering of mental disorders both predisposed and as a resullt of drug abuse.

Please remember to temper your feedback as somebodies life may be at stake.

phoenixn

Gooch makes some valid points. It does no good to take an anti-pharmaceutical, anti-medical approach in the name of drug-free fanaticism. Having said that, there is no question that "legal" drugs are way over-prescribed. I believe that there are situations where prescribed medication can be useful, even life saving. At the same time, these psychiatric pharmaceuticals can be a major impediment to spiritual growth if relied on to the exclusion of other personal work in the long run. There is no value in telling a drowning child that they need to learn how to swim - even though they may learn that skill later on.

theNAway

If I may add my 2 cents. I think Ms. B was speaking to the narcotic concoctions they can hand out like candy at the psychiatrist. Such as benzo's for anxiety, pheno for ...
I wholeheartedly believe that some people need anti-depressive help especially when coming off drugs. It just needs to be researched by the person before taking it and seeing if it is for them.
I was a Country Sales Manager for a # of years, and the bottom line to me was the numbers. If I made 4-5% growth every year on 12M, then I was happy. If I didn't, they got on my case. It is the same way with the pharmacutical reps. They make sales calls to Dr.s Office's and "sell" them on their product. They have cut out the bennies of x amount of script writing, but they do whatever else they can to make the "sale". So your Dr. might not be as informed as you might believe.
Like my sponsor (who is a Dr. with a revoked license) told me, how can you make an REALLY informed decision when you are working 16 or more hours a day, and then there are literally thousands of drugs out there?
I have always checked into everything I pop into my mouth in recovery, as opposed to taking it and asking questions later.
Just my take...
Chad H.

Gooch

No defense needed really, I wasn't singling anyone out for an attack. Just sharing a little of my story and reminding myself as well that what we post on a Narcotics Anonymous board will hopefully attract others to the Narcotics Anonymous program.

I do understand about the pharm reps. my mom's 84 and when I have driven her to her doctors, I've watched 4 or 5 salesmen come by his office in a 90 minute period, bringing in all of their samples, pens, and notepads. If that is a representation of the fierce competition in the industry, we are probabl;y only seeing the tip of the iceberg.


Chad you make a good point about teh 16 hr shifts many doctors work.


er .. you just did hand over an implied endorsement.

a toke? When did any of us settle for a toke?

phoenixn

This from the New England Journal of Medicine (2005): "Although physicians tend to have healthier lifestyles than those of the general public and thus to live longer, it has been known for some time that suicide rates among doctors are higher than those in the general population. And when these tragic events make it into the headlines, as did the recent suicide of gifted heart surgeon Jonathan Drummond-Webb, we begin to wonder why these healers apparently cannot heal the hurt in their own lives".

Anyone who categorically puts THEIR life in the hands of someone who has nothing more to show than success in academia, and who is a servant of the DRUG companies is treading in dangerous, perhaps fatal water.

Now on the horizon for alcoholics in 2006 is a new injectable form of Naltrexone. The company Aldermes is seeing NOTHING but $$ signs in the 18 million Americans who abuse alcohol. They don't care about the long-term well-being of alcoholics or anyone else!!

God knows where I'd be by now if I'd given my life over to medical pseudo-science. The abuses by our current medical system are a national disgrace. Please read my other comments in this thread for caveats to the above statements.

Imagine

Welcome Zupper; keep coming back. About what you asked "How do you know if you should stop for good?" For this addict named Jerome, the only time I wanted to blow my brains out was when I used. It sounds to me that you want to use successfully, I hate to tell you this but nobody here knows how to do that. When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired then we can help.

theNAway

THAT was funny. lmao

I think we know where she was going for that.

I personally have read a lot about the meth abuse and the chemical restructuring of the brain that happens when coming off of it, and the time it takes > 1 yr to get back to normal levels. The chances of someone making it without an SSRI, with anti-anxiety properties is severely diminished due to this.
I also have read a lot of studies of people in jails with previously undiagnosed conditions that contributed to their drug use. The proper (non-narcotic) medications can help them live a fruitful life. (This can be debated too, whether it is due to being behind bars, ect. ect.) When I go to speak I am VERY thankful I am in recovery and not behind them.
There are also others that have a need for anti-depressive medications due to a chemical imbalance.
Thank god I don't need those things. But for those that are suffering, thankfully the medications are there for them.
The whole philosophical debate on whether doctors are drug pushers, or know what they are doing, could be debated ad nauseum. I choose not to jump on either side since it really doesn't matter to me. I make my OWN choices now in recovery not to take those things since I don't have a medical need.
Chad H