marteen

Just thought I would drop in here to ask a question. My daughter is the addict in my life. She is 15, and has used cocaine and crack. She just had her first baby (to an addict/convict father) 6 weeks and was living several states away from me for nearly 2 years so I did not see her. Nearly all the conversations I had with her over the phone were terrible - she was so hostile and beligerant - always blaming me and her dad, screaming and saying very foul things. She is now back living near us and came over this past weekend. Her behavior and attitude was almost "childlike" - very giggly, almost somewhat meek. Much different from what she has been like and different from her "normal" self.

During dinner, I noticed that looking from her and back and forth to my husband, his pupil was very small while hers were completely dilated over her eyeball. I have learned through my recovery to choose my battle carefully and I did not bring this observation to her attention. I was enjoying my pleasant visit with her and my granddaughter. I have no earthly idea of what she did and didn't take during her pregnancy although she says she was on Welbutrin and now off for a month since moving here. Do the dilated eyes definately indicate drug use??? Or could they be like that from previous drug use? And her isn't her change in behavior indicative of something?

Just wondering mostly because of the baby. She is living with the baby's father's parents but I felt so sad for the my AD and the baby thinking of her "using" again.

Thanks for letting me jabber and ask away!

Hugs,
Marteen
(normally on naranon)

marteen

I'm sorry, I meant to say that she is 25!!!! NOT 15!!!! Big difference! Whew!

best

Well 15 would make you 10 years younger *LOL*

Frozen pupils? I would think you are correct. Mellow mood and the eyes.
I still say you handled things very well.

marteen

Yes, it would make me younger, wouldn't it???

So, apparently, with the mood change and the eyes, she is using again, which I was afraid of.

Thanks, I'm glad that I decided to remain quiet and keep my observations to myself. I would NEVER have done that with my recovery in place! I would have been a mad woman!

marteen

You know, I give up. It must be the time of the morning since I can't sleep. My fingers do not want to work.

Again, my bad, I meant to say: I would NEVER have done that withOUT my recovery in place - but you all probably knew that!

best

Fully understood

With recovery in place, we don't engage foot and incert mouth *LOL*

Peter

Your suspicions are probably correct.The vast majority of addicts do not recover without some kind of treatment and since you did not mention any I can only guess she is probably still using.

Gooch

The people who made it the hardest for me to continue using were the ones who loved me in spite of my addiction.

You done good!

You've probably emphasized on previous occasions how you feel about her using.. the seeds been planted ..the hard part is waiting to see the plant grow.

your daughter and her child are in my prayers.

Paulie

YEP What Goochy said.

Learning to pick our battles is a huge gift of recovery.

marteen

Thank you all so very much for your replies.

Best,
You know that I am sometimes a little "off"! (now, no more comments! lol)

Peter,
And I know my daughter - there are a few individuals who have the will and inner strength to "fight" for what they want and beat something - my AD is not one of those people. Without a program, I know she can't beat this.

Gooch,
I will try to be patient and pray that the seed germinates and takes hold - someday. With my own recovery, I find that I pray for this more and more for HER and her child - not so much for me anymore. I only want her to find some real peace and understanding in life.

Paulie,
You are not kidding! Everything used to be a war, not so anymore. My AD is in control of her own life and decisions, and I am of mine. I choose to not fight over things I can do nothing about.

Hugs!