MY cousin's wedding
I'm an addict.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hyde Park, NY
Posts: 1,201
MY cousin's wedding
My cousin got married saturday and I was forced by my parrents to attend the wedding and reception. I really didn't want to go, but I also didn't want to have to deal with the **** I would have had to put up with if I didn't go, so I went. It was a nice quick 15 minute wedding (my family is catholic so I kinda expected a 2 hour mass/wedding thing) and then there was the reception. It was at a nice plantation and it was a sit down meal. When we got there, the bar opened and I was at a table with another cousin of mine that I used to go hit the bars with.
She said, "what do you want to drink?"
I said, "a coke"
she said, "huh? you know all this **** is free huh?"
I said, "I don't drink anymore"
She said (in a sarcastic and snickering tone) "well, um, that's great, good for you."
I felt like a outcast at this place. Everyone there was drunk. Now alcohol has only been my DOC for a very brief period when I was 12-13, but just being around all those drunk people made me really wish that I could drink like a normal person. I wanted a drink. So I called my roommate (who is also in recovery) and I talked to him about how he handeled his uncle's wedding a few months ago. After talking to him, I decided to go back inside and eat, tell my cousin congrats and get the **** out of there.
I'm so grateful for narcotics anonymous. If I didn't have a place to come to and talk about **** like this, I don't think I could do something like leave a place with a free open bar. I have tried to quit useing on my own before, but it never worked for me. If I didn't have other addicts to talk to when I feel like useing, I wouldn't last long at all. I don't want to use today and I didn't want to use saturday till I got there and saw all that drunkenness...I wanted to use b/c I was in an uncomfortable place and I wanted to fit in....this all goes back to one of the reasons I started useing in the first place, to fit in. Today I fit in NA, not because I use, but b/c I don't want to use anymore. NA is my home, and I am free to be myself.
-Blake
She said, "what do you want to drink?"
I said, "a coke"
she said, "huh? you know all this **** is free huh?"
I said, "I don't drink anymore"
She said (in a sarcastic and snickering tone) "well, um, that's great, good for you."
I felt like a outcast at this place. Everyone there was drunk. Now alcohol has only been my DOC for a very brief period when I was 12-13, but just being around all those drunk people made me really wish that I could drink like a normal person. I wanted a drink. So I called my roommate (who is also in recovery) and I talked to him about how he handeled his uncle's wedding a few months ago. After talking to him, I decided to go back inside and eat, tell my cousin congrats and get the **** out of there.
I'm so grateful for narcotics anonymous. If I didn't have a place to come to and talk about **** like this, I don't think I could do something like leave a place with a free open bar. I have tried to quit useing on my own before, but it never worked for me. If I didn't have other addicts to talk to when I feel like useing, I wouldn't last long at all. I don't want to use today and I didn't want to use saturday till I got there and saw all that drunkenness...I wanted to use b/c I was in an uncomfortable place and I wanted to fit in....this all goes back to one of the reasons I started useing in the first place, to fit in. Today I fit in NA, not because I use, but b/c I don't want to use anymore. NA is my home, and I am free to be myself.
-Blake
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
WOW you strapped on that tool belt and you use it, that is awesome 
I was at a party yesterday where there was ALOT of drinking. My first few years of recovery that really bothered me alot, today it doesn't bother me anymore, and I see that as a gift.
Not only does it not bother me, but I danced just as much as the drunks did, but I feel great this morning
I was at a party yesterday where there was ALOT of drinking. My first few years of recovery that really bothered me alot, today it doesn't bother me anymore, and I see that as a gift.
Not only does it not bother me, but I danced just as much as the drunks did, but I feel great this morning
Big Idiot Man Child
Join Date: May 2004
Location: La
Posts: 5,664
Like I told you, it's a bitch staying sober in this state of ours.....but it can be done. Here's a tip.....when you drink a coke out of a glass nobody knows that there ain't booze in there. Just let em assume there's booze in there. hehe
I'm an addict.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hyde Park, NY
Posts: 1,201
Yeah, it's gonna be tough come parade season and crawfish boil season, and going down river season, and football season and holliday season...****, people in louisiana can find any excuse to get drunk and high and still keep it socially acceptable.
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